Ene
Active member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2012
- Messages
- 3,574
- MBTI Type
- iNfj
- Enneagram
- 5w4
Two enemies often approach me.
One is anger and the other is sarcasm.
If I let my guard down, they will creep into my camp and wreck havoc. If our altitude is determined by our attitude, then I pray for my attitude to be higher that my altitude may be greater. Today, I came home from a difficult day and found that somewhere along the way, I had let anger into my heart and I have been dealing with it all afternoon.
I don't know if it's an INFJ issue or not, but sometimes, I have to distance myself from people because I'm afraid I might tell them what I really think and then I'll have to apologize for it later, or worse yet, I sometimes fight the urge to physically lash out like a wounded animal who is cornered. If I ever tell someone to leave me alone and they don't, it's like approaching a coyote in a trap, unsafe. There is a reason I go off by myself sometimes. It's to re-gather and to re-center and if I'm not allowed to do that, I think I become feral. I suppose it comes from too much time in the lime-light, by being surrounded by too many people for too long.
For example, my boss is very extroverted [tests as an ENFP]. The more hoopla that goes on, the better she likes it. Her idea of a relaxing evening is going shopping and to a theatrical production and then to a night on the town with a nice place to eat and lots of friends. She likes new things and technological gadgets and whatever's bright, bold and well...new. My idea of relaxing is doing kung fu in the woods or taking a long hike with one friend or two friends, or even by myself or maybe just spending a day in my pajamas writing, alone in my basement. So, I wonder if it is a weakness that I come unraveled with lots of noise and glamour or if it's just not my best mode of operation. It IS hers. When the lights, camera and action die down, she's bored and lonely and sad and moody.
For me, bigger is not always better. New is not always superior to old and often times, less is more. But because she's the boss I often get curves thrown my way. Curves that seem to defy logic and it's an issue that I must deal with. She is a band-wagon gal and every time a new show comes into town, she hops on board. She is a precious person but she sometimes makes life altering decisions on a whim and that bothers me, because it affects so many people.
Actually, writing this has helped me work through my anger a bit
One is anger and the other is sarcasm.
If I let my guard down, they will creep into my camp and wreck havoc. If our altitude is determined by our attitude, then I pray for my attitude to be higher that my altitude may be greater. Today, I came home from a difficult day and found that somewhere along the way, I had let anger into my heart and I have been dealing with it all afternoon.
I don't know if it's an INFJ issue or not, but sometimes, I have to distance myself from people because I'm afraid I might tell them what I really think and then I'll have to apologize for it later, or worse yet, I sometimes fight the urge to physically lash out like a wounded animal who is cornered. If I ever tell someone to leave me alone and they don't, it's like approaching a coyote in a trap, unsafe. There is a reason I go off by myself sometimes. It's to re-gather and to re-center and if I'm not allowed to do that, I think I become feral. I suppose it comes from too much time in the lime-light, by being surrounded by too many people for too long.
For example, my boss is very extroverted [tests as an ENFP]. The more hoopla that goes on, the better she likes it. Her idea of a relaxing evening is going shopping and to a theatrical production and then to a night on the town with a nice place to eat and lots of friends. She likes new things and technological gadgets and whatever's bright, bold and well...new. My idea of relaxing is doing kung fu in the woods or taking a long hike with one friend or two friends, or even by myself or maybe just spending a day in my pajamas writing, alone in my basement. So, I wonder if it is a weakness that I come unraveled with lots of noise and glamour or if it's just not my best mode of operation. It IS hers. When the lights, camera and action die down, she's bored and lonely and sad and moody.
For me, bigger is not always better. New is not always superior to old and often times, less is more. But because she's the boss I often get curves thrown my way. Curves that seem to defy logic and it's an issue that I must deal with. She is a band-wagon gal and every time a new show comes into town, she hops on board. She is a precious person but she sometimes makes life altering decisions on a whim and that bothers me, because it affects so many people.
Actually, writing this has helped me work through my anger a bit