I know several males who could very well be INFJs (haven't given them a test or anything, so I can't say that they are indeed INFJs) - probably more than females I know who show those preferences.
This could be so because I hang around a lot of church and seminary types, a field to which NFs are often drawn.
But are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely:
The Illusion of Rarity
I'm inclined to agree, especially with this:
We feel different, even when we are surrounded by other people who are INFJs and similar to us in every way (age, race, education, income). We would find a way to feel different. Most INFJs perpetually live with this sensation of being isolated, feeling different from the pack. Even when we aren't isolated, we tend to FEEL isolated, despite all evidence to the contrary.
I must admit, she has my number there.
But I digress. This topic could have its own thread. Not to mention the whole gender aspect. I have a lot of thoughts on that but I have to organize them first. I wouldn't want to unleash a flood of them on an unsuspecting crowd.
Back on the topic of romantic partners: A friend of mine, an INFJ* human rights lawyer at the United Nations, is married to a woman who is a very plainspoken, down-to-earth, no-nonsense sort of person. A possible ISTJ?
Another INFJ friend of mine, an Episcopal priest, was drawn to his current fiancee because, so he said, of how "down to earth" she was.
So perhaps the SJ does have an appeal for the INFJ, and not just the male INFJ. I dated an ESTJ for nearly a year. While there were some aspects of his personality that exasperated me, there were others that I found reassuring: His firm foundation in reality for one, as well as his smooth competence in social situations. Plus, he had excellent table manners. Our relationship was nice while it lasted.
*He, his wife, and I all belong to a group that gets together a few times a month for wine and conversation. It often happens that I'll mention some thoughts or behaviors or general quirks of mine, and the wife will jump in with an, "Oh, yes! My [husbandsname] is like that/does that all the time!"
It's hardly a foolproof type-verification method, but it sure is cute when it happens.