[INFJ] INFJ Compatibility - INFJ's Romantic Match?

[Pseudonym_Alpha]

That post offically makes me feel special

 

[OctaviaCaesar]

I was friends for a while with a male INTJ who is now dating my INFP sister and I am currently engaged to an ISFP.

 

[Pseudonym_Alpha]

Crazy'ness! Well...thats my opinion (all in fun though).

The question I mainly ask is, would a male INFJ and a female INFJ get along? ..

Because you need give and take in a relationship ship, if both sides are trying to give or both sides are trying to take, would that make things end permanently due to mis-communication? or is that just my line of thinking.

 

[Introverts_Unite!]

I agree with the ENTP consensus although I admit I have a morbid/fatal attraction toward INTP's because of their incredible depth, psychological complexity, and facility with language - it's kind of a an "intellectual bad boy"-type attraction... but most of one key experience was gained via writing where we revealed much more than we would have in person... so I'm not sure the attraction would have naturally happened otherwise.
As far as the N-S debate, there seems to be a much better "mind match" with similar types. I grew up in a family of sensors, yet my N friends intuitively know me so much better. I appreciate sensors' groundedness and lack of fickleness, traits that can be lacking in N's (present company included) .. but the mental excitement just isn't there for me.
My favorite boss was an ENTP. I knew what he wanted before he asked for it, and he was all around a fun person to work for. He, in turn, seemed to appreciate that I "got" him and his humor and accepted his foibles. I think INFJ's need someone to pull them out of their (our) overly-serious navel-gazing.

 

[Eileen]

I think INTPs are a fairly good match for INFJs as well.

 

[faith]

Crazy'ness! Well...thats my opinion (all in fun though).

The question I mainly ask is, would a male INFJ and a female INFJ get along? ..

Because you need give and take in a relationship ship, if both sides are trying to give or both sides are trying to take, would that make things end permanently due to mis-communication? or is that just my line of thinking.

I don't know about other infjs, and I don't generally use mbti-type as a prerequisite for dating, but I don't think i'd be drawn to an infj guy. Not because of the give-take thing, but because I feel like I need the even-keel temperament of NTs. I'm so easily influenced by other people's emotions, that I don't want a mate who has great emotional fluctuation on a daily basis. Not that all NFs are emotional basket cases, but if I'm feeling bad, and my mate is so sympathetic that he starts feeling bad because I am, then we're in a pickle. (yeah, that's a simplistic reply. there's no perfect answer to that question...)

Also, I just love the way NT minds work. So sexy.

 

[Tigerlily]

I'm married to an INTJ. It was 9 years this past May and we have three children together.
It works because we understand each other and I also know that deep down inside he is a wonderful person even though he doesn't always show it. He is also very kind and understanding when my emotional side rears it's ugly head. We never argue because he is too logical for that. I used to get upset when he would refuse to engage me until I finally realized that using logic and reason from can be pretty liberating for a feeler.

 

[cafe]

I'm married to an INTJ. It was 9 years this past May and we have three children together.
It works because we understand each other and I also know that deep down inside he is a wonderful person even though he doesn't always show it. He is also very kind and understanding when my emotional side rears it's ugly head. We never argue because he is too logical for that. I used to get upset when he would refuse to engage me until I finally realized that using logic and reason (when possible) from can be pretty liberating for a feeler.

My INTP is a non-arguer too. It took some getting used to but now I love it. It means I don't have to worry about getting into some horrible nasty communication loop when I occasionally fly off the handle. It feels very safe to know that somebody with a cool head is around to hold down the fort when I loose my cool.

 

[vince]

My INTP is a non-arguer too. It took some getting used to but now I love it. It means I don't have to worry about getting into some horrible nasty communication loop when I occasionally fly off the handle. It feels very safe to know that somebody with a cool head is around to hold down the fort when I loose my cool.

That's exactly how I feel about relationships. My girlfriend is probably IxTP and she's the only relationship where I've felt some kind of balance. With extravert girls things always started intense and didn't last long.

 

[quietgirl]

My INTP is a non-arguer too. It took some getting used to but now I love it. It means I don't have to worry about getting into some horrible nasty communication loop when I occasionally fly off the handle. It feels very safe to know that somebody with a cool head is around to hold down the fort when I loose my cool.

Yea, my ISTP is really laidback. After dealing with dramatic guys in the past, it's really refreshing to not have a constant argument brewing.

 

[Pseudonym_Alpha]

Also, I just love the way NT minds work. So sexy.

That I TOTALLY agree with

 

[Sandy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by faith

Also, I just love the way NT minds work. So sexy.

That I TOTALLY agree with

*raising hand* Agreed!

 

[Kiddo]

I like the wit. If only I could subtract the cynicism.

 

[cafe]

I like the wit. If only I could subtract the cynicism.

Give it time. Few people can be more cynical than disappointed idealists.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Crazy'ness! Well...thats my opinion (all in fun though).

The question I mainly ask is, would a male INFJ and a female INFJ get along? ..

Because you need give and take in a relationship ship, if both sides are trying to give or both sides are trying to take, would that make things end permanently due to mis-communication? or is that just my line of thinking.

I met an INFJ guy in my psych course last semester. We've quickly become ridiculously good, but purely platonic, friends, so I don't know relationship wise. But it's actually kind of nice. I'm so used to giving and giving and being knocked around, albeit lovingly, by S friends. For once I have someone that will give back. Just the other day he came over and made me breakfast for no reason. While usually that kind of thing makes me uncomfortable, I know I enjoy helping others, and that he's truly the same way, so I understand and am glad to accept. And of course, I try to do nice things for him too! It's an uphill battle, though, especially since he's got not only the INFJ people pleasing-ness, but the desire to be a gentleman. He's always offering me the first bites of food, or just putting himself out for me in ways that aren't necessary, and I yell at him not to. We also bullshit for hours about philosophy, psychology and the current state of the human race, and it's nice to have someone that understands human nature as well as I do for a change, even if we usually just end up going round in circles on the same topics all the time. XD

In conclusion.. yes.. it is quite possible for opposite gender INFJs to get along, however, I don't really know if there'd ever be enough spark to start a relationship. And in response to the "All the male INFJs I've met are gay" comment, this one's mostly straight. His eyes wander in the other direction, but has only dated girls and is currently happily in love with one.

 

[redacted]

well i've had 2 year+ relationships in my life so far. one with an ENFJ, and one with an ENTP.

the ENFJ was a little much for me to handle; she had a lot of trouble reasoning clearly (Ti-ing), but her snap-of-the-fingers insights were right on.

the ENTP and i had the most amazing relationship i could ever imagine. and the only reason we broke up is that we have to work out our personal issues and get exploration out of our systems (we're 20 and 21). i could totally see myself marrying this girl someday. (i've never met another ENTP girl, but i would imagine i'd be attracted to all ENTP girls' personalities)

another reason we worked so well together is that my Ti is really really strong; maybe even stronger than hers (she can run Ne circles around me though). that was a nice common thread we had.

(she's still my best friend by far and we hang out all the time.)

in general, though, i'd say i'd be most likely to go for any NT girl. there's something so cool about girls with dominant or secondary thinking funcitons

and i just couldn't see myself connecting with any S type. (although ISxPs with strong intuitions may work)


also, to add a random thought: i've never met an INFJ female. but my best male friend is INFJ also. isn't that weird?

 

[armstrongvk12]

INFJ women might prefer ISTP men.

INFJ men probably prefer ENTJ women.

Ah....thank God (or whomever)....cause I am an ENxJ woman in love with an INFJ man. It seems like we really understand AND compliment each other. His strengths are my weaknesses...and vice versa. I think the strength of element would be important as well. I dated an INTP...and he annoyed the hell out of me cause he was SO "P" that literally NOTHING was completed...ever. My INFJ...is REALLY J....so I can't imagine him paired with a "P."

 

[Priam]

I agree with the ENTP consensus although I admit I have a morbid/fatal attraction toward INTP's because of their incredible depth, psychological complexity, and facility with language - it's kind of a an "intellectual bad boy"-type attraction...

Woo! I knew my leather jacket was a good purchase. Now I just need some good West Side Story musical moves to up my cred...

Seriously, though, I'd love to see this expanded for my own edification. What turns the above traits into a "bad boy" reputation?

 

[Camelopardalis]

I like the wit. If only I could subtract the cynicism.

We actually have justifications for our cynicism... Although I'm guilty of being horribly pessimistic.

 

[wedekit]

I wouldn't say SJs are a good match for me at all. SJs are known for their dependability and for having both feet firmly planted on the ground. Imagine a rock holding down a balloon. I feel comfortable saying this because my mother is an SJ and sometimes I can barely even have any kind of conversation with her. And I know I could never even date an S type to begin with. I can rarely have any kind of meaningful conversation with an S; the main exception is my best friend's sister who is an ISTJ.

I don't know how and ENTP would attract me because I haven't met one yet, or at least I haven't identified anyone I know as one yet. I know the ENTJ type does catch my attraction sometimes.

I've only dated one person, INTP, and he managed to piss me off at least once a day for a month. Never again.