Why do some people feel or think...

[GIjade]

Why do some people feel or think that they have to accomplish something in their lives? Like big accomplishments. Why do some people think they have wasted their life if they don't do that? Like if they're musicians for instance, and don't become a famous rock star or country music legend, or if they have acting skills and don't make the Hollywood A-list or become a Hollywood actor at all. Does that affect their self esteem? I don't feel that way about my life, so I'm just wondering what it is that makes some people aspire to such things.

 

[Forever]

Check the 3 enneagram personality type.

 

[Mustafa]

Competition and self confidence, not self esteem causes that.

 

[Yama]

I dunno why. I definitely don't. Most people are probably disgusted by my complete lack of ambition.

 

[magpie]

Because they see accomplishments as a measure of self worth.

 

[Beargryllz]

I dunno why. I definitely don't. Most people are probably disgusted by my complete lack of ambition.

It's true. Lack of ambition is one of the worst defects in a person. It's probably sub-clinical depression in a lot of cases. I don't really have any advice and I don't want to sound mean, but you summed it up perfectly and I have to agree.

 

[Yama]

It's true. Lack of ambition is one of the worst defects in a person. It's probably sub-clinical depression in a lot of cases. I don't really have any advice and I don't want to sound mean, but you summed it up perfectly and I have to agree.

Does not having any real goals and just wanting to live a basic, simple life mean that a person is a broken person? Is that what defect means?

 

[magpie]

Does not having any real goals and just wanting to live a basic, simple life mean that a person is a broken person? Is that what defect means?

No.

 

[Beargryllz]

Does not having any real goals and just wanting to live a basic, simple life

That is a goal. What are you doing to get it? What can you do to work through the complexity of every day life down to something you enjoy and strive for? How can you make your life simple? Life is complicated. What are you motivated to work on in order to make it more manageable, relaxing, or enjoyable as you desire it?

 

[Yama]

That is a goal. What are you doing to get it? What can you do to work through the complexity of every day life down to something you enjoy and strive for? How can you make your life simple? Life is complicated. What are you motivated to work on in order to make it more manageable, relaxing, or enjoyable as you desire it?

Not really doing anything. I don't know the answers to any of these questions... and if I have to work to make things relaxing then it kind of defeats the purpose. Competition and ambition are stressful things and I don't like stress so I just want my life to be as boring and simple as possible. I'm not really working towards anything though. Right now I'm going to school because idk I'm enrolled so I go. Don't really want to be here but I have nothing else to do

 

[cascadeco]

I don't have a need to be 'the best' at something, because that's basically not realistic, and I also just want to be happy with what *I* do, happy with myself. But I do strive to do my best and keep improving at things. I do like accomplishing things and accomplishing is important to me. For me, I see it as an extension of myself. If I don't put something, anything, out there externally, then it's almost as if I don't exist, in a sense.

 

[ceecee]

I'm an 8 - we do stuff. We get shit done. I couldn't go through life without some kind of goals and ambition. I'm sure it does effect self-esteem in some but I don't see anything wrong with people who want to go all the way and be the very best with whatever they choose in life. That's respectable.

 

[á´…eparted]

As [MENTION=22178]hel[/MENTION] said it's a measure of self worth for a lot of people. People such as myself are simply not comfortable or ok with internally deriving self worth.

I regard self-worth as dependent upon what I externally create and do. Similar to [MENTION=4050]ceecee[/MENTION] I could not go through life without goals and ambition. I have a tendancy to pick goals that are beyond my reach and I practically kill myself in the process of getting there (and I almost always do get there). Potential and innate skill are nice, but it doesn't really do any good if it isn't used. Sure, there is worth to it, but it's worth more to do something with it, and it's also worth trying your darndest to make as much use of it as possible. Since I need to have a strong sense of self-worth or I am not happy, I try and pull all of those: identify as many of my innate skills as I can, cultivate them as much as I can, and then produce/do something with those cultivated things.

Is it ever enough? Nope, but it's something I'll always strive for.

 

[Mustafa]

[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] IMO that is samsara. I think Nirvana is not struggeling, and not being burnt by desire/attachment. In Nirvana there is non-attachment AND having internal drive.

I might even become homeless because i want to go to nirvana, it's becoming a struggel now though. I've been captured by Samsaric people. I am not an 8 and not free anymore. I have no honor anymore, but maybe it shoul've been lost in gain of being social.

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[á´…eparted]

[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] IMO that is samsara. I think Nirvana is not struggeling, and not being burnt by desire/attachment. In Nirvana there is non-attachment AND having internal drive.

I might even become homeless because i want to go to nirvana, it's becoming a struggel now though. I've been captured by Samsaric people. I am not an 8 and not free anymore. I have no honor anymore, but maybe it shoul've been lost in gain of being social.

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I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[Mustafa]

I'm not angry at you.

 

[á´…eparted]

I'm not angry at you.

Nor am I.

Though I did a bit of googling just now. Are you implying that my way of going about life is continual suffering, and not ideal compared to the concept of nirvana?

 

[Mustafa]

Yes.

Edit: [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] But according to Buddhism it all doesn't matter.

 

[á´…eparted]

Yes.

Well then, you really should keep your moral high horse preaching to yourself, because I do NOT take kindly to that kind of bullshit, in particular coming from someone who I don't even remotely respect.

I happen to greatly enjoy how I live my life, I am going to continue living that way, and you do NOT get to claim that my way of living and being is somehow inferior to some other ideal. That is YOUR ideal, and it is NOT universal, and it would serve you well to keep that in mind. I honestly don't give a damn what you plan to do with your morality as it pertains to you internally, so you shouldn't give a damn about mine or anyone elses.

 

[Mustafa]

Well then, you really should keep your moral high horse preaching to yourself, because I do NOT take kindly to that kind of bullshit, in particular coming from someone who I don't even remotely respect.

I happen to greatly enjoy how I live my life, I am going to continue living that way, and you do NOT get to claim that my way of living and being is somehow inferior to some other ideal. That is YOUR ideal, and it is NOT universal, and it would serve you well to keep that in mind. I honestly don't give a damn what you plan to do with your morality as it pertains to you internally, so you shouldn't give a damn about mine or anyone elses.

OK. I don't expect anything of you. We are talking. Don't get angry.

We said we are not angry. You're not alone in Samsara. I'm getting there.