WWordsworth
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- Feb 21, 2022
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I'm currently debating with a friend on what my type is ... I have long been a suspected self-typed INFP, but an INTP friend of mine firmly believes I'm INFJ. I initially disagreed but after going through the forums and finding these question lists with said friend, I'm seriously second guessing. I answered 100 percent honestly - it was hard for me to admit to doing some of these things lol but I'm leaning farther toward the INFJ side of things now after having answered them. I will be the first to admit that I don't have a good grip of functions and how they work and was confused about Fi vs. Fe and Ni vs. Ne.
If anyone could give more feedback to settle this debate once and for all, I'd appreciate it so much! Thanks in advance!
START OF QUESTIONS
Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
I am 27, female, USA … I have diagnosed ADHD and major depression … current state of mind is moderately chaotic with a side of existential dread (kind of the base line lol) ... I feel like I've confused some behaviors associated with those two conditions as cognitive function behavior (like interpreting messiness and an aversion to cleaning as inferior Te rather than depression symptoms ... I do 'forget' about tidying and view it as a meaningless chore when I could be working on writing projects and other things that I deem more 'important')
You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
First of all, I’m not a ‘concert’ person unless it’s classical music (I like indoor theatres better with the comfy red velvet seats, without people running all over each other and I love feeling like I’ve been transported into the Victorian era) … but let’s say the car breaks down in the above situation … I’d be freaking out internally and would focus on calming the rest of the people down so that I can think properly … and then I’d probably be the one that ends up brainstorming/making different phone calls because I always somehow end up being the spokesperson of the group (… because if I don’t who else will?)
You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Right off the bat, I wouldn’t trust or believe them … I know what happens in these situations and I already know I’m taking an Uber home at that point because the planets have already aligned (‘better safe than sorry,’ right? … and I don’t want to tell them what to do, although I would also make absolutely sure that they have alternate means of going home). If I did end up going to said afterparty, I’d be watching them like a hawk from my corner the entire night.
Part of me doesn’t feel comfortable or in control unless I’m 5 steps ahead of everyone else
On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
You mean the Uber on the way back haha …
It honestly depends on what it is - when people say ‘beliefs,’ I automatically think of politics and social justice issues which really fire me up (I am very liberal)
Realistically, I would either avoid/ignore them and then endlessly complain about them to other people when they’re not around to say how ‘wrong’ it was what they said and depending on how bad it is, I would cut them completely out of my life and act like they didn’t exist because that would be easier.
This next possibility is less likely because I hate confrontation, I would get really quiet in the car ride home, silently say wtf wtf in my head and then confront them privately and not embarrass them … and then door slam.
What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
For some reason, when answering this question, I’m imagining a scenario where someone is picking on someone else, I’d go up to them, make them feel included (I hate it when other people feel uncomfortable or sad ) and offer to be a listening ear if they need to vent. I interpreted this initially as Fi because I love making people feel included because I hate feeling left out … but it makes me feel uncomfortable when others aren’t included and I think it has to do with absorbing emotions as well (I didn’t know what this was) … people don’t have to tell me how they feel - I already know
For anecdotal evidence... I once had a teaching supervisor that tried to have me teach a poem that I found sexist (it was pretty overtly sexist) and I switched out the poem at the last minute to something different because I couldn't in good conscience teach it knowing that there were other poems out there that achieved the same exact goal without blatant sexism. I envisioned my students reading that sexist line out loud, I knew that they would all look at each other and be like wtf and that I’d have to say some BS like ‘yeah that’s not right but we’re going to do it anyway’ … I couldn’t do it … we shouldn’t have ‘to do it anyway’ … I want this to change in education and I want to see change in the world. I want to be that change.
What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
Tbh - I honestly still don’t know how people define ‘values’ in terms of the mbti
Promoting Social justice and equity, Integrity, honesty, including others, appreciating authenticity in others, creative freedom
I grew up in a very conservative household, knew that I didn’t want anything to do with that ideology because I saw its effects on others
I don’t like anything or any institution or group that seeks to exclude others unless said others are expressing views or harbor ideologies that oppress others in some way
What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else?
I’m eccentric and intense at the same time … empathetic to a fault. I feel like I’m from a different era, I feel like I’m a thousand years old and a kid at the same time, I collect antiques and love old things.
I’m a big anticipatory worrier - equally fascinated and frightened of the unknown … this leads to a lot of theoretical musings on existentialism, death and the afterlife.
If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be? Why?
Honestly, other than being able to let go of grudges and things after a while and tone worrying about the unknown/future down, I don’t think I’d change anything.
How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
For the most part, I listen to them … I avoid something if I feel like something bad could potentially happen. I avoid foreseeable danger at all costs and I’m constantly on the ‘lookout’ when I’m out with friends
What activities energize you most?
Writing, helping others, making others feel good, alone time and time with my cat
What activities drain you most? Why?
Being in groups for long periods of time (even though I likely seem extroverted to others at times, it’s the ‘show’ I put on (so I guess this is more Fe than Fi) but a switch flips in my head after about an hour-hour and a half and it’s like ‘need to go home now’ lol), therapy sessions, trusting people lmao and situations where I have to put my faith in others rather than myself
What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I really have to think on this one … one thing that comes to mind is that thing I mentioned above about always ending up as the ‘designated spokesperson’ of the group even when I don’t want to be and I’m literally screaming on the inside. This is wrong on the professors’ part for letting this happen like this several weeks in a row, but in seminar, for example, I was the first one to open the discussion every. single. time. because I knew that the other people wouldn’t … yes, it’s from vibe sensing the room and knowing that they wouldn’t and they didn’t … ever.
I always leave those situations thinking ‘omg would they have just sat there in uncomfortable limbo if I weren’t there to diffuse that?’ … one time I did wait to see what they would do and I was so uncomfortable (two minutes of silence with no one knowing what to say) that I caved and started the discussion myself
Socially awkward people flock to me because they know that I’ll ‘make things better’ and I don’t mind this as long as I don’t end up getting stalked (which has happened multiple times)
Do you find yourself to be obsessive about topics? Do you continually divine value from something you already understand or do you move on once you feel you have a fair enough understanding?
I’m extremely obsessive about topics and It’s difficult for me to move on from them - it’s more me exploring the same problems/questions from different angles. I’m more interested in mastery of a limited number of things (a fewer amount of things leads to greater mastery of those things) … I’m a perfectionist in that way. (I interpreted the ‘different angles’ thing as Ne initially but my friend says it’s Ni and I agree with him more on that now I think) ... I've also been working on the same book project for years (which I'm EXTREMELY private about) because I feel that I have to master that universe that it's set in (it's a fantasy story) and I want that world and the characters to jump off of the page
If topics can be people, I hold grudges and have a lot of trouble letting things go and will just talk them out over and over again.
Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
A lot of people have described me as emotionally chaotic but put together on the outside. Random people would not guess that there's a tornado happening inside sometimes ... many times
In terms of aesthetics, I like cohesiveness - my apartment is full-on Victorian style with antiques from that era (I also hate reproduction antiques) and anything that’s an outlier bothers the hell out of me (for example, a piece from the 1950s that wouldn’t fit in with the overall picture or particular vision I had for that space, even if I liked it, would bother me)
I’m a pretty ‘cluttery’ person, always have been, and I don’t mind clutter for a while, but after that while, it stresses me out (and honestly it does but because of my depression, I feel too lazy to keep track of it and I get very project oriented (whatever I’m obsessing about takes precedence))
Do you think there are any differences between how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
Friend chiming in, ‘you literally told me the other day that you were worried about confusing others about who you were because half of your wardrobe is vintage and the other half is all black and ‘represents the darkness that threatens to overcome you’’ LOL
People see me as the ‘most intense person’ that they know, the funny person, the one who ‘smooths things out’ socially, the one who ‘sets people at ease,’ the ‘dark joke guy,’ the daydreamer
I am a very imaginative person, but I also feel more grounded in reality than some other people I’ve met - I feel like I’m always the one giving life advice and helping people sort out problems (whether practical or emotional), which I do enjoy doing.
What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why?
Before really, really thinking about it, I thought that I was INFP, but after this long debate with my friend I’m really second guessing that it’s INFJ as I answer these questions with brutal honesty
If anyone could give more feedback to settle this debate once and for all, I'd appreciate it so much! Thanks in advance!
START OF QUESTIONS
Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
I am 27, female, USA … I have diagnosed ADHD and major depression … current state of mind is moderately chaotic with a side of existential dread (kind of the base line lol) ... I feel like I've confused some behaviors associated with those two conditions as cognitive function behavior (like interpreting messiness and an aversion to cleaning as inferior Te rather than depression symptoms ... I do 'forget' about tidying and view it as a meaningless chore when I could be working on writing projects and other things that I deem more 'important')
You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
First of all, I’m not a ‘concert’ person unless it’s classical music (I like indoor theatres better with the comfy red velvet seats, without people running all over each other and I love feeling like I’ve been transported into the Victorian era) … but let’s say the car breaks down in the above situation … I’d be freaking out internally and would focus on calming the rest of the people down so that I can think properly … and then I’d probably be the one that ends up brainstorming/making different phone calls because I always somehow end up being the spokesperson of the group (… because if I don’t who else will?)
You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Right off the bat, I wouldn’t trust or believe them … I know what happens in these situations and I already know I’m taking an Uber home at that point because the planets have already aligned (‘better safe than sorry,’ right? … and I don’t want to tell them what to do, although I would also make absolutely sure that they have alternate means of going home). If I did end up going to said afterparty, I’d be watching them like a hawk from my corner the entire night.
Part of me doesn’t feel comfortable or in control unless I’m 5 steps ahead of everyone else
On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
You mean the Uber on the way back haha …
It honestly depends on what it is - when people say ‘beliefs,’ I automatically think of politics and social justice issues which really fire me up (I am very liberal)
Realistically, I would either avoid/ignore them and then endlessly complain about them to other people when they’re not around to say how ‘wrong’ it was what they said and depending on how bad it is, I would cut them completely out of my life and act like they didn’t exist because that would be easier.
This next possibility is less likely because I hate confrontation, I would get really quiet in the car ride home, silently say wtf wtf in my head and then confront them privately and not embarrass them … and then door slam.
What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
For some reason, when answering this question, I’m imagining a scenario where someone is picking on someone else, I’d go up to them, make them feel included (I hate it when other people feel uncomfortable or sad ) and offer to be a listening ear if they need to vent. I interpreted this initially as Fi because I love making people feel included because I hate feeling left out … but it makes me feel uncomfortable when others aren’t included and I think it has to do with absorbing emotions as well (I didn’t know what this was) … people don’t have to tell me how they feel - I already know
For anecdotal evidence... I once had a teaching supervisor that tried to have me teach a poem that I found sexist (it was pretty overtly sexist) and I switched out the poem at the last minute to something different because I couldn't in good conscience teach it knowing that there were other poems out there that achieved the same exact goal without blatant sexism. I envisioned my students reading that sexist line out loud, I knew that they would all look at each other and be like wtf and that I’d have to say some BS like ‘yeah that’s not right but we’re going to do it anyway’ … I couldn’t do it … we shouldn’t have ‘to do it anyway’ … I want this to change in education and I want to see change in the world. I want to be that change.
What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
Tbh - I honestly still don’t know how people define ‘values’ in terms of the mbti
Promoting Social justice and equity, Integrity, honesty, including others, appreciating authenticity in others, creative freedom
I grew up in a very conservative household, knew that I didn’t want anything to do with that ideology because I saw its effects on others
I don’t like anything or any institution or group that seeks to exclude others unless said others are expressing views or harbor ideologies that oppress others in some way
What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else?
I’m eccentric and intense at the same time … empathetic to a fault. I feel like I’m from a different era, I feel like I’m a thousand years old and a kid at the same time, I collect antiques and love old things.
I’m a big anticipatory worrier - equally fascinated and frightened of the unknown … this leads to a lot of theoretical musings on existentialism, death and the afterlife.
If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be? Why?
Honestly, other than being able to let go of grudges and things after a while and tone worrying about the unknown/future down, I don’t think I’d change anything.
How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
For the most part, I listen to them … I avoid something if I feel like something bad could potentially happen. I avoid foreseeable danger at all costs and I’m constantly on the ‘lookout’ when I’m out with friends
What activities energize you most?
Writing, helping others, making others feel good, alone time and time with my cat
What activities drain you most? Why?
Being in groups for long periods of time (even though I likely seem extroverted to others at times, it’s the ‘show’ I put on (so I guess this is more Fe than Fi) but a switch flips in my head after about an hour-hour and a half and it’s like ‘need to go home now’ lol), therapy sessions, trusting people lmao and situations where I have to put my faith in others rather than myself
What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I really have to think on this one … one thing that comes to mind is that thing I mentioned above about always ending up as the ‘designated spokesperson’ of the group even when I don’t want to be and I’m literally screaming on the inside. This is wrong on the professors’ part for letting this happen like this several weeks in a row, but in seminar, for example, I was the first one to open the discussion every. single. time. because I knew that the other people wouldn’t … yes, it’s from vibe sensing the room and knowing that they wouldn’t and they didn’t … ever.
I always leave those situations thinking ‘omg would they have just sat there in uncomfortable limbo if I weren’t there to diffuse that?’ … one time I did wait to see what they would do and I was so uncomfortable (two minutes of silence with no one knowing what to say) that I caved and started the discussion myself
Socially awkward people flock to me because they know that I’ll ‘make things better’ and I don’t mind this as long as I don’t end up getting stalked (which has happened multiple times)
Do you find yourself to be obsessive about topics? Do you continually divine value from something you already understand or do you move on once you feel you have a fair enough understanding?
I’m extremely obsessive about topics and It’s difficult for me to move on from them - it’s more me exploring the same problems/questions from different angles. I’m more interested in mastery of a limited number of things (a fewer amount of things leads to greater mastery of those things) … I’m a perfectionist in that way. (I interpreted the ‘different angles’ thing as Ne initially but my friend says it’s Ni and I agree with him more on that now I think) ... I've also been working on the same book project for years (which I'm EXTREMELY private about) because I feel that I have to master that universe that it's set in (it's a fantasy story) and I want that world and the characters to jump off of the page
If topics can be people, I hold grudges and have a lot of trouble letting things go and will just talk them out over and over again.
Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
A lot of people have described me as emotionally chaotic but put together on the outside. Random people would not guess that there's a tornado happening inside sometimes ... many times
In terms of aesthetics, I like cohesiveness - my apartment is full-on Victorian style with antiques from that era (I also hate reproduction antiques) and anything that’s an outlier bothers the hell out of me (for example, a piece from the 1950s that wouldn’t fit in with the overall picture or particular vision I had for that space, even if I liked it, would bother me)
I’m a pretty ‘cluttery’ person, always have been, and I don’t mind clutter for a while, but after that while, it stresses me out (and honestly it does but because of my depression, I feel too lazy to keep track of it and I get very project oriented (whatever I’m obsessing about takes precedence))
Do you think there are any differences between how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
Friend chiming in, ‘you literally told me the other day that you were worried about confusing others about who you were because half of your wardrobe is vintage and the other half is all black and ‘represents the darkness that threatens to overcome you’’ LOL
People see me as the ‘most intense person’ that they know, the funny person, the one who ‘smooths things out’ socially, the one who ‘sets people at ease,’ the ‘dark joke guy,’ the daydreamer
I am a very imaginative person, but I also feel more grounded in reality than some other people I’ve met - I feel like I’m always the one giving life advice and helping people sort out problems (whether practical or emotional), which I do enjoy doing.
What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why?
Before really, really thinking about it, I thought that I was INFP, but after this long debate with my friend I’m really second guessing that it’s INFJ as I answer these questions with brutal honesty
