greenfairy
philosopher wood nymph
- Joined
- May 25, 2012
- Messages
- 4,024
- MBTI Type
- iNfj
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Just some rather unrefined thoughts about what I believe is a misconception of Fe. I don't think "putting others before the self" is the most accurate way of looking at Fe behavior. It can take that form, but there is something more fundamental. I think this idea is related to a Christian doctrine of selflessness which we as a culture have absorbed. There is another way of looking at it which is not selfless and which is still Fe.
Being selfless is not sustainable. It has no foundation. It will eventually collapse in on itself and produce the opposite of what it is trying to accomplish. You see, if you don't love yourself you will be continually seeking it from someone else. Including God. Then whatever relationships you form in which you are giving without regard to self will involve need and the expectation and unconscious hope that they will return what you give. To truly be selfless you must not resent the other for failing to love you and failing to be grateful. Because you love you and you are grateful. You have to have a surplus of love in order to effectively give it away. If you are in a position of neediness you can never be truly selfless. You can never be selfless if you are expecting something in return for your actions.
The answer is not to deny your needs, but to fulfill them yourself. When you are happy and secure the decision to give to others will be free and you will be happy with it. To be selfless you must be selfish first.
Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself", which implies that you have to love yourself as much as you intend to love your neighbor, otherwise you have nothing to measure it by.
So I propose the idea of self transcendence as opposed to selflessness. Separation is an illusion. Love is an awareness of connectedness, of seeing the self in the other. It is a perception of collective wellbeing and a desire to promote that wellbeing, founded upon empathy. Fe is continually aware of the self as being collective, which is why it can readily focus on the needs of others and assume that the self's needs will be taken care of. There is no perception of separation.
Fe is collective and Fi is individual. I can talk more about Fi later.
[MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION] [MENTION=20856]grey_beard[/MENTION] [MENTION=25879]Jade Heart[/MENTION] [MENTION=22264]jscrothers[/MENTION]
Being selfless is not sustainable. It has no foundation. It will eventually collapse in on itself and produce the opposite of what it is trying to accomplish. You see, if you don't love yourself you will be continually seeking it from someone else. Including God. Then whatever relationships you form in which you are giving without regard to self will involve need and the expectation and unconscious hope that they will return what you give. To truly be selfless you must not resent the other for failing to love you and failing to be grateful. Because you love you and you are grateful. You have to have a surplus of love in order to effectively give it away. If you are in a position of neediness you can never be truly selfless. You can never be selfless if you are expecting something in return for your actions.
The answer is not to deny your needs, but to fulfill them yourself. When you are happy and secure the decision to give to others will be free and you will be happy with it. To be selfless you must be selfish first.
Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself", which implies that you have to love yourself as much as you intend to love your neighbor, otherwise you have nothing to measure it by.
So I propose the idea of self transcendence as opposed to selflessness. Separation is an illusion. Love is an awareness of connectedness, of seeing the self in the other. It is a perception of collective wellbeing and a desire to promote that wellbeing, founded upon empathy. Fe is continually aware of the self as being collective, which is why it can readily focus on the needs of others and assume that the self's needs will be taken care of. There is no perception of separation.
Fe is collective and Fi is individual. I can talk more about Fi later.
[MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION] [MENTION=20856]grey_beard[/MENTION] [MENTION=25879]Jade Heart[/MENTION] [MENTION=22264]jscrothers[/MENTION]