We'll do better if you ask us some questions. What do you want to know?
Edit: Actually, this made me laugh. Fi users would volunteer to share their experiences in case anyone else could identify. Fe users want to tell stuff that is of use to the hearer and so they want to know what it is that would be useful information!
i'm totally curious!! because of the other same exact thread for fi...we're trying to talk about how we feeeeel and then...well i'm just not sure if that's just being human or is it fi. i mean how do your fe feelings feel? haha omg that sounds stupid...i mean people feel the same right? it's just our processing of it is different..shit i don't know...I DON'T KNOW I SAY!! you help...please...could you...help me out here...i dun get eet. :/
Sorry, I'm not making blanket Fe/Fi statements. Just going on the trends in Fe/Fi discussions about how Fe expects to be invited to tell something personal and will throw out feelers to see if there is interest, while Fi assumes that if someone wants to tell something, they will just jump in and everyone will add their experiences.
Similarly, out of those discussions came the revelation that Fe is very outcome oriented, while Fi is a lot more process oriented, so our reasons for communicating the same information are different. (As a mod I would get frustrated about public Fi rants about mod corruption that seemed to be blanket statements and didn't take into account the end effect on the forum, while some Fi users felt that I was trying to stifle the truth from being examined or that I wanted them to do things in a private, sneaky way, rather than out in the open. They felt that everyone should have a voice to express their thoughts. I placed more importance on general outcome, rather than individual voice/process).
However, I'm not suggesting that no Fe users ever volunteer information or that Fi users just talk about themselves.
I have recently been looking further into my use of Fi vs. Fe. It is interesting what [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION] has said about Fe users expecting to be invited to share something if there is interest. This struck me because lately in my quest for better social skills, I have realized that most people go into conversations and assume the other people involved want to hear their shit. Personally, when I am socializing, I wait until someone has asked me a specific question. Even then, I will limit my answer, assuming that the person doesn't care to hear a big long story unless they ask for it. It is hard for me to just start talking about myself, especially in person. (That's why forums are awesome!) I guess I just don't really see a useful outcome, as usually I (perhaps wrongly) assume no one is really THAT interested. This has created some problems for me, for instance in that I tend to feel wounded that no one is asking me, which I translate into them not caring, when really most people assume that if there is something wrong, you will present them with it. I don't know if all this is Fe stuff. Can a Fe user tell me what they think?
I have recently been looking further into my use of Fi vs. Fe. It is interesting what [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION] has said about Fe users expecting to be invited to share something if there is interest. This struck me because lately in my quest for better social skills, I have realized that most people go into conversations and assume the other people involved want to hear their shit. Personally, when I am socializing, I wait until someone has asked me a specific question. Even then, I will limit my answer, assuming that the person doesn't care to hear a big long story unless they ask for it. It is hard for me to just start talking about myself, especially in person. (That's why forums are awesome!) I guess I just don't really see a useful outcome, as usually I (perhaps wrongly) assume no one is really THAT interested. This has created some problems for me, for instance in that I tend to feel wounded that no one is asking me, which I translate into them not caring, when really most people assume that if there is something wrong, you will present them with it. I don't know if all this is Fe stuff. Can a Fe user tell me what they think?
I have recently been looking further into my use of Fi vs. Fe. It is interesting what [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION] has said about Fe users expecting to be invited to share something if there is interest. This struck me because lately in my quest for better social skills, I have realized that most people go into conversations and assume the other people involved want to hear their shit. Personally, when I am socializing, I wait until someone has asked me a specific question. Even then, I will limit my answer, assuming that the person doesn't care to hear a big long story unless they ask for it. It is hard for me to just start talking about myself, especially in person. (That's why forums are awesome!) I guess I just don't really see a useful outcome, as usually I (perhaps wrongly) assume no one is really THAT interested. This has created some problems for me, for instance in that I tend to feel wounded that no one is asking me, which I translate into them not caring, when really most people assume that if there is something wrong, you will present them with it. I don't know if all this is Fe stuff. Can a Fe user tell me what they think?
I totally identify with how you feel and I think that is a common Fe interpretation when they throw something out there and the other person doesn't express an interest. Also when a person starts telling you about their stories and experiences just as you are telling them about one of your problems. While it certainly depends on the situation (and can just be immaturity), I realize that I tend to be less proactive than I should and don't put myself out there, yet have some silent expectations for what an equal exchange would look like. I have realized from my time on here, that Fi users often find question asking (which is my way of showing interest) as intrusive and prying, so they are careful not to do it and assume that if you have something to tell them, you will. So, in part I think it's about gaining more confidence yourself, and then also realizing that a significant amount of the population just works differently than I do and I need to make some adjustments.
I have realized from my time on here, that Fi users often find question asking (which is my way of showing interest) as intrusive and prying.
I think I use Fe. My feelings are very reflective, and dependent on others. I mirror other people's emotional states and moods both unconsciously and consciously to connect better. If I feel upset about something, just having another person there to talk to makes me feel better, and the process of talking makes me feel validated, and makes some of the emotion go away. Also I'm really paranoid about what other people think/feel about me (but it's getting a lot better). I'm very conscious about behaving appropriately (with regard to interpersonal and social relationships), though I don't always know how to do it.
Emotions seem a lot more valid and meaningful to me if they are collective. My emotions are directly related to my relationship with the world, i.e. how well I am connected to it- if I am loved and accepted (and loving and accepting myself). Of course this true for everyone, but I think acceptance is more important for Fe users. (Although that being said, I mostly only get emotional about how well I measure up to standards- thus not being "acceptable" in my opinion.) Where I think I use Fe a lot is with music. Music expresses my emotions far better than I ever could, and it purges things out of me I didn't know were there. I use it to connect to a collective emotion. I love music that a lot of people can identify with, and I then I feel like I have a group to belong to. Usually I just like passionate or aggressive music, but it all has subtle nuances of attitude. I don't really like sad music; I listen to music to balance whatever mood I am in and bring me back to harmony.
It's my impression that Fi is more personal. I don't really know.
With Fe, I really don't feel all that final about what I say. I may even throw out a conjuncture about why I think someone is acting as they do (and sound like I'm making a statement), but am completely open to any new information that would modify my opinion. It's a way of even figuring out what I think and feel about it. I just assume that everyone knows this is what I'm doing, but Fi users don't and it sound mean and judgey.