I think my Fe in overdrive can manifest as snark. I generally try to engage with people honestly and try to hear their perspectives, even if I don't care for what they're saying. But once they ignore the social construct completely and say something in a manner that directly rubs me the wrong way, or that has gotten us off track and the whole group riled up, I feel less inclined to keep the claws retracted. It's kind of a feeling of, "Okay, if you don't care, I don't care."
[This] paragraph of Tallulah's is exactly what you saw cafe and I doing in the INFJ Common Issues thread. We felt like EW was ignoring the social constructs. As a result, we felt less need to be protective of her feelings, as the message obviously wasn't getting through. This is interesting to consider in regards to Te doing the same when the shoe's on the other foot.
^ no it's not quite the same though ... Te will ignore but Fe will shun, it's different somehow. You risk more battling with an Fe user. You risk being shut out of their lives. It feels more dangerous.
No, you can argue with a Te user and you don't generally risk being shut out of their lives for disagreeing with them. Fe takes exception to dissension in a different personal space. It does take it personal. Te will say, "No shit, you were right. Huh!" And then move on somehow, more easily or readily.
Hmmmm. Very interesting..... This rings true to me.
I guess I feel like at least with Te, the implicit idol Te serves is logic and pragmatism. And, this is a really good thing because it's a universal leveler. It cuts through the human foibles that go hand in hand with the subjectivity that comes with emotions and personal agendas. The goal is getting [it] done.... And getting [it] done in the most direct, efficient, and practical way possible.
Perhaps this is why I am so open to changing my behavior and opinions if someone can logically argue that they are wrong. And, I think this is a Te strength: re-examining one's reasoning based on the facts at hand and a better logical argument if one is presented. Because I'm not trying to protect my agenda. I'm looking outside myself to see if my agenda fits getting to wherever I'm wanting to get to.
But from my side of the table, it seems like the Fe users that find my posts sometimes off putting, are looking for some validation of their expressed opinions. And, they feel like I'm not giving it to them.
More than that, because I don't give them this validation, they see me re-arguing my point in response to their posts as an overt rejection of what they had to say.... And, they are sort of right.
If I'm completely honest with myself (And, I'm not saying this to upset anyone, nor do I mean I haven't considered what you've had to say) I'm going to go where the logic leads me, regardless of my personal feelings of filial loyalty to you.
If you want me to change my mind which I'm more than willing to do, then you should know I'm looking for straightforward, logical arguments about why my reasoning is wrong. When I don't hear a convincing, logically-based argument, then I'm just plowing forward with what I believe is the self-evident logic of my position.
Additionally, if I respond with a logical argument about why I disagree with you, it's not because I'm trying to embarrass or ignore you. In fact, the very fact that I'm laying out a logical argument for you means I have indeed listened to you and am trying to show you the utmost respect... This is a sign of respect from me because I assume that like me, you hold logical, straightforward arguments in the highest esteem and will tailor you approach if you see the logic in what I'm saying.
This is not always the case.
Again, please no one be offended by my candor regarding my internal process. I felt it important to share what's going on with me to shed some light on this miscommunication I seem to keep having with some Fe / Ti users.