My ex was an INFJ - and we were perfect together.
The relationship fell apart due to his unwillingness to expose me to the dark parts of himself (he had some serious pyschological issues, but was very adept at keeping them from people - I just saw right through him)
That's too bad, really. I've never had any problems with being open with the people I'm very close to; I'd tell them anything and everything. I guess that just depends on how secure you are with yourself. Openness is very important to me in a relationship; if there is even the tiniest thing that you would be unwilling (not
unable, as if this were the case, it could be worked on by both people, and eventually talked about) to say about yourself, it
will come back and bite you in the ass sooner or later. I'd much rather avoid having to deal with that. It's a far worse thing than telling someone all about you and then finding out that they can't accept who you are, for whatever reason, because that way your more intimate dealings with the other person could end before you get too involved, and it would be quicker and easier for both people to deal with (also, if they can't accept you for everything that you are, then it's not meant to be, so don't bother with it; a lot of people get hung up on this, unfortunately); being unwilling to completely open yourself to the one you love out of an apparent sense of fear of rejection is empirically a sign that you don't trust them enough. That fear is the end result of your mind wastefully spinning its wheels about the insecurities you have, and the longer it does that, the harder it is to put that trust in place. That's what I think, anyways.
Ugh I just found out another guy I was crushing on is also an INFJ. Is it sad that I'm disappointed? I've had bad experiences with two INFJ guys before, and I'm afraid that he'll have the same quirks and problems I had with previous INFJ (and I say this because I'm fairly sure the attraction is mutual).
I was so hoping he was ENFP or ENTP.
Oh, while I'm at it: INFJ love to talk about ourselves to anyone who will listen, because we think we're such interesting people. Well, I get annoyed with other INFJ because I get sick of listening to them. Ha. Isn't that completely stupid?
I wouldn't say that it's sad because it's certainly an understandable response, though I'm quite certain that not all INFJ guys would have those same problems, as a lot of that could depend on how mature they are, or if they are unbalanced in some way, or even habitual things. What were those problems, anyways?...if you don't mind me asking.
As for the second part, that would depend on how balanced your conversations with them are. If they're just blabbing on and on, not letting you get a word in edgewise, or if you're trying to let them know you're not all that interested in hearing it, then yeah, you have every right to get sick of it. I can certainly talk for a long while about some things, but never in a way that makes it seem like I'm just going on a rant (I always leave openings for the other person to talk, and interject things that put the ball in their court.), because with anything that I'd talk about, my most important reasoning for talking about it is to gain input from the other person (rather than just hearing myself talk), whether it be seeing what they think about it, having them add to the conversation or take it in a related direction and so on (even if that direction is different from what I had intended), or even just to get a smile or laugh out of them.
![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
I never talk for the sake of talking....I really can't stand it.
I personally think that two INFJs could work, but I'd say these things would have to be there in order for it to work
really well:
--One of them would have to be more on the T side than the other.
--Values would have to be mostly the same or at least highly similar; having a common denominator in
what you base those values on (even if they are different) definitely helps (i.e. religious backgrounds, life experiences, how you view the world and people in general). This would negate the biggest clashing points that two strongly J people could have, especially INFJs, because our values are very important to us, and we can be quite stubborn about them.
![Big grin :D :D](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
--Both would have to be very secure about who they are and willing to be entirely open. This could be said about any relationship, of course, but if it's not taken care of, it would be even worse since both have dominant Ni, and that could get out of control and destroy the relationship if not kept in check by mutual trust (i.e. subconsciously filling in the blanks of what you don't know about the other person, dwelling on things that you worry about, making assumptions about intentions, etc.).
--At least one would have to be fairly talkative on a regular basis. Kind of a common sense thing, I know, but if both people are continually waiting for the other person to say something [because they are more comfortable with responding], that would be problematic.
I'm probably missing some things, as I'm not terribly into psychology or anything like that (most of what I know is just inherent), but you get the gist of it.
Anyways...I can definitely say that if I ever had the opportunity to have a relationship with another INFJ, I'd be all for it! I think that would be incredibly nice.
Of course, for me, I think an ENFP would be just as awesome as another INFJ; I'd be open to both possibilities.
btw, I just realized that this is the longest post I've ever made here....yay!![Big grin :D :D](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)