[MBTI General] you must love yourself before anyone else can love you.

[Yama]

People loved me long before I ever liked myself. Certainly self-confidence is 'attractive' and if you have it more people might like you, but to say that you can't find love without loving yourself first is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

 

[Population: 1]

Low self esteem can really strain a relationship. The person with the self esteem issues can either doubt the sincerity of your affection and attempts at boosting their confidence or they can feel you have a vision of them that they can't possibly meet. I dated a girl who just couldn't see she was a better person than she perceived herself to be. It's up to that person to break down the illusion they have of themselves. You can encourage them but you can't do it for them. It's painful to watch and you wish they could see themselves as you do even if only for a few moments.

 

[Hiraeth]

I agree with this completely. It’s a motto of mine, actually. I’ve had low self-esteem for nearly my whole life and just recently started coming to terms with accepting and even, dare I say, loving myself. I happened to have pondered this very notion just a few minutes ago too, reflecting on how much I’ve changed within the past year.

I think many people hold this idealistic outlook where they believe another person would somehow complete them and change their perspective on life for the greater. Like a damsel in distress that is saved by her knight in shining armor from the fire breathing dragon or the manic pixie dream girl kind of thing. Perhaps finding a loving partner can be a starting point to self-love and happiness, but I don’t think it will completely solve all of your issues by itself.

In truth, nothing will really change until you start making the change yourself. It’s a harsh reality to face, but I think it does hold at least some weight.

True love starts within. ❤