[NF] Why NFs pity themselves so much ?

[Alpha Prime]

I am watching the NF forum all the time and there is something that I can't overlook.

What I can't overlook is how many post here are written in the stile : I am depressed, do others like me, I suck at life, why people don't like me and stuff like that.

In NT forum there are similar posts but there is a smaller amount of them and I would dare to say that conversations are more constructive.

Here you just have a emofest of some sort and it is almost like you are making eachother depressed. (and enjoy it)


I am sorry but I really don't understand what you are trying to achive if you have a goal in the first place. Are you just venting ? Or you really need attention of others to talk to you about emotions you have at the moment?

Isn't this in itself whining? Or maybe I got the wrong impression!

Hell yeah, but the guy has got a point. I don't understand why one needs to whine or rant. It accomplishes nothing of value.

Most NF's I know aren't good at dealing with emotions in a constructive way.

 

[heart]

+1

How about we all just stop putting down others in order to make ourselves look better?

I think Antisocial was really just coming to the Idyllic for some hugs and cheering up anyway. Everyone should give him a hug.

 

[Lady_X]

This is because our processes of thinking is quite different.
I am very deliberate person while I presume you are not that much.

What means that I am working towards goals.
So here is the thing: I don't have to think what I really want all the time.
When something happens or occures my Ni just throws everything I need to know out and how to solve the problem. If it is something more complex then I will need to use my T.

In a way this is automated reaction. This is because I don't doubt in my goals. But every now and then I stop and rearrange if something is wrong or iif there ara some better things to do.

I hope this makes sense to you.

of course it makes sense to me. i completely understand that everyone has their own methods. i expect them to be different. you use logic alone to solve issues that may come up....i get that...you are a very deliberate non emotional person...i get it...i've heard you say it a million times. i on the other hand am deliberately cognizant of my emotions...i believe it to be a very important part of the human condition. when i'm faced with a decision i let my emotions as well as my logic be a part of the process.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Hell yeah, but the guy has got a point. I don't understand why one needs to whine or rant. It accomplishes nothing of value.

It's pretty cathartic.

I think Antisocial was really just coming to the Idyllic for some hugs and cheering up anyway. Everyone should give him a hug.

...group hug!

 

[Alpha Prime]

It's pretty cathartic.

So you would rather feel better than do something constructive about what made you feel that way!?

 

[heart]

Quote:
This is because our processes of thinking is quite different.
I am very deliberate person while I presume you are not that much.

What means that I am working towards goals.
So here is the thing: I don't have to think what I really want all the time.
When something happens or occures my Ni just throws everything I need to know out and how to solve the problem. If it is something more complex then I will need to use my T.

In a way this is automated reaction. This is because I don't doubt in my goals. But every now and then I stop and rearrange if something is wrong or iif there ara some better things to do.

I hope this makes sense to you.

I don't know who posted this originally...but you seem to assume that you're special in having goals and working towards them. NFP have goals too. All humans can have goal they work towards and if your Ni is going on and on without any editing from the other functions, that's not a healthy situation. Not any more than someone running on Fi all the time without any input from Ne. The primary and secondary work together or the person goes unbalanced. This is how I understand it.

So you would rather feel better than do something constructive about what made you feel that way!?

Like Morrissey wielding a bicycle chain?

 

[violaine]

Just for the record: There is a lot of "NTs are bad" going around.


I hope that you realize that this is a stereotype/generalization as well.

I don't see a lot of that coming from NFs unless it is in retaliation for something. I find NFs are generally very respectful and accepting of NTs, certainly there is not a lot (if any) putting themselves or their way of being on a pedestal.

I wonder if part of the reason anyone buys into supposed NT superiority, particularly here, is that NFs don't attack their obvious flaws.

 

[Lady_X]

So you would rather feel better than do something constructive about what made you feel that way!?

depends on the issue...sometimes feeling better IS the objective.

somethings in life just are...and can't be undone or fixed...sometimes they just need to be accepted which if painful may require a bit of empathy and support to heal...that's just the way it goes.

 

[Athenian200]

NFs are pretty interesting too, in their own ways. I think the key is being confident in your own abilities and working to better yourself.

Yes, but that's difficult. My bad experiences with NFPs didn't exactly help give me confidence in the NF temperament or myself, because sometimes they do things that make it seem like the condescending things NTs sometimes say about us are right, and it embarrasses me.

I'll try, though. Maybe my inability to deal well with NFPs represents a weakness in myself that I need to confront before I can better myself.

That may sound trite, but I find it to be extremely true. Allying with NTs while putting down other NFs may provide you with a false sense of assurance that you are "better," but it is only just that.

Ah, I don't really do that with all NTs. Mostly just INTJs, because I "get" how they think, and want them to see that my F doesn't make me a total alien.

 

[Alpha Prime]

Like Morrissey wielding a bicycle chain?

Qué?

depends on the issue...sometimes feeling better IS the objective.

somethings in life just are...and can't be undone or fixed...sometimes they just need to be accepted which if painful may require a bit of empathy and support to heal...that's just the way it goes.

This is a difference between me and you NF's. Thank you for your input, Lady X.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

So you would rather feel better than do something constructive about what made you feel that way!?

Ranting is constructive for some people. And a person can whine and rant, and then do something about it later.

 

[Thalassa]

I think Antisocial was really just coming to the Idyllic for some hugs and cheering up anyway. Everyone should give him a hug.

 

[Alpha Prime]

Ranting is constructive for some people. And a person can whine and rant, and then do something about it later.

Possibly true, but I think only kids have the "right" to rant and whine. At some time in life you have to grow up and take care of your situation in a mature way and that includes getting the right toolbox for dealing with emotions.

I have no respect for adults who rant and whine. I find it pathetic.

 

[Thalassa]

So you would rather feel better than do something constructive about what made you feel that way!?

Some people are paralyzed by their emotions until they let them out, then they are actually freer to do something. I do both. I'm very emotional, very into catharsis and talking about my feelings. I'm even slightly emo

YouTube - Helena - My Chemical Romance HQ Music Video

But I'm also a do--er. I will eventually make powerful changes in my life. I wasn't happy in NC, so I travelled alone to LA with very little money and lived out West for six years. When I realized I wasn't happy in my relationship, it may have taken me time, but I moved back East and enrolled in college where I'm doing very well now. I had to make sacrifices to get where I am now and I'm sure I whined about it, and even stalled and freaked out, but eventually I did it, ya know?

Also, sometimes "doing something" right away isn't always the best policy. Like, for example, you get angry and want to "do something" by punching someone, but if you vent about it some way instead, you can later deal with that anger more constructively.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

YouTube - Helena - My Chemical Romance HQ Music Video

Helena!

 

[Lady_X]

Possibly true, but I think only kids have the "right" to rant and whine. At some time in life you have to grow up and take care of your situation in a mature way and that includes getting the right toolbox for dealing with emotions.

I have no respect for adults who rant and whine. I find it pathetic.

verbal expression of ones feelings as a way of dealing with them is actually quite healthy and necessary for some.

pathetic is a lil harsh but i could certainly see how it would be annoying if someone were to always do that and never seemed to learn and grow from the situation....whatever it may be.

 

[Thalassa]

Possibly true, but I think only kids have the "right" to rant and whine. At some time in life you have to grow up and take care of your situation in a mature way and that includes getting the right toolbox for dealing with emotions.

I have no respect for adults who rant and whine. I find it pathetic.

It's funny that you say this because some forms of psychotherapy involve ranting and whining to release pain or repressed memories and that would definitely qualify as "getting the right toolbox for dealing with emotions."

Keeping a journal or talking in a support group is also a constructive form of therapy which could occasionally involve ranting and whining.

Actually, repressing feelings can be very unhealthy - not just psychologically, but sometimes physically depending on the severity of the repression.

I don't think that being emotional doesn't mean that you're a "grown up." I feel that there's something a bit childish about denying emotion and pretending to always be tough when it's obviously not true. But these are just our two different ways of viewing the world.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Possibly true, but I think only kids have the "right" to rant and whine. At some time in life you have to grow up and take care of your situation in a mature way and that includes getting the right toolbox for dealing with emotions.

I have no respect for adults who rant and whine. I find it pathetic.

Also, possibly what you see as whining another sees as discussing their situation with others so they can better understand it and their feelings about it. For them, it is a necessary process in dealing with the situation. It may not be your way, but that doesn't make it any less.

 

[Thalassa]

Helena!

:moonwalk:

 

[heart]

I've been alive 40 years and I've yet to meet anyone who never rants or whines. Thinkers can be some of the worst venters and whiners around, probably because they save it all up for a select few to hear. And often that person they select is a feeler!