why doesn't God love me?

[miss fortune]

To start off- I'm not intentionally anti-religious by any means- I grew up with a mother who loved to go to church and has the pleasant and gentle view that God's there for us whether we want him to be or not, and he loves us all equally. This should have been a good grounds to feeling SOMETHING towards God, I'd think, but apparently it wasn't

To make it more confusing, I even spent 4 months living in a convent as part of a room and board package once... they were cool nuns, they loved humanity in general and had such an optimistic and non-judgemental attitude towards it. They really DID put their faith into good works to help the poor, the sick, the un-spoken... even if the people in question weren't even Christian- they were wonderful people, but I still didn't FEEL anything

I've gone to various different types of churches- I've been to temple several times, I have gone to mosque on several occasions, to a few pagan celebrations... I've studied Hinduism, Buddhism and have even attended a Ba'hai service and still I don't feel that I fit...

What's up with this God fellow and why does he taunt me so?

I would LOVE to beleive in something, have a community of a sort and have that feeling of safety, calm and acceptance that people can find with religion but it just doesn't click. Part of this is because I feel that who I AM doesn't quite jive correctly with a lot of religions- for some I'm too exhuberant and fascinated by sensory experiences, for some I am an evil sinful harlot... and I can't stand the idea of a religion that would send anyone to Hell... if I couldn't do it I sure as hell don't want to beleive in a God who would

And it's not that I'm an atheist either- I beleive in something- just the thought that I can't quite put my finger on it really bugs me... religions fascinate me, I love reading about them, but I can't manage to fit in

What sort of sick bastard of a deity would do that to a person?

 

[Billy]

I despise organized religion and left the catholic church shortly after i was confirmed when I was 18. Its funny... I have recently gotten the want to get into charity work, which is funny because now i need the church i dont believe in again just so i can help people out lol... its pretty cool and I keep my agnosticism under wraps and most people just dont realize i dont ever talk about jesus.


And I dont think you have to worry about going to hell... thats just a boogey man the Christians picked up from the Greeks to scare peasants into their tithes. You cans ee how serious they took it by looking up hell reprieves for money from the church.

 

[JocktheMotie]

Just make up a new one. The Church of Whatever. That's got a pretty great ring to it, if I say so myself.

You ever read Franny and Zooey, by...Salinger maybe? I forget. You might like it actually, it's pretty quick too, you can probably bang it out during a rainy afternoon.

Sorry I can't help much Your needs are foreign to me.

 

[BlackCat]

I feel exactly the same way that you do. I want to believe, but I just don't feel it.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Some would argue that the fact that it bugs you that you're not feeling it means you're feeling it.

 

[Totenkindly]

Some would argue that the fact that it bugs you that you're not feeling it means you're feeling it.

+1

 

[Virtual ghost]

I have never prayed in my life so I don't grasp this concept. But even if I try I am pretty sure I would not get desired results out of it.

 

[miss fortune]

yeah... I shouldn't have read Dante's Inferno as a child or attended church in the midwest- the idea of hell definitley leaves me paranoid even though I couldn't respect any deity who'd allow it to exist Adding a heirarchy to religion seems to have made it more creative and more evil in a way

I think you have to be an ExxJ to start a religion I'll have to check out that book though- I haven't read Salinger since developing a strong desire to beat up Holden Caulfield in high school I'm planning on visiting the library on Wednesday anyways

to blackcat

to JJJ- the fact that I don't feel a CONNECTION is what's bugging me... just going through the motions is a pretty pathetic way to look at a religion- if it doesn't resonate I can't see what the point is

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I have never prayed in my life so I don't grasp this concept. But even if I try I am pretty sure I would not get desired results out of it.

It doesn't really count if the only reason you're doing it is to get something out of it.

It seems like many folks want to make God into some sort of genie that fits conveniently in their back pocket. Something they can take out whenever they need something or want to feel better about life, but that goes back into hiding the rest of the time.

I've heard it best put this way, God isn't there to deliver you from your troubles, but to deliver you through them.

I'm of the opinion that spirituality can be whatever you want it to be. Do what works for you, whether that is meditating on your own, or going to church or w/e.

It's all about what works for you, makes you happy, and helps you to become a better person.

I hope that wasn't as confusing as it sounded in my head.

 

[gromit]

Discovering God is as much about discovering yourself as it is about anything outside yourself, I have found. I looked for God for years as a physical presence because everyone would always talk about FEELING God's presence, but I never could find anything like that exactly. Like holy rays of light shining down or something...

You have said that you just can't hate humanity, that you find people so fascinating... that could be a direction for you to take on your spiritual journey. Other synonyms for "God" could be love/kindness, clarity, balance, discovery, passion, wholeness. We are all so different, so of course there are many paths.

Anyway, I don't think the idea of spirituality is antithetical to pleasure either.



ACK. I do not have time to make this make sense right now... sorry.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

the fact that I don't feel a CONNECTION is what's bugging me... just going through the motions is a pretty pathetic way to look at a religion- if it doesn't resonate I can't see what the point is

I would say that you already see God (or whatever you want to call him/her/it) everyday, you just don't realize it.

Have you ever been surprised by the kindness and charity you see in others?

Have you ever been struck by the impossible beauty of a landscape?

Have you ever been so happy that you thought heaven must be something like this?

One of the main reasons I believe is that our world, and many of the people in it, are to incredible and beautiful for something greater than ourselves not to exist.

 

[KDude]

i don't fit in with religion either.. but i've explored spirituality quite a lot. not to say anyone has noticed, but my bookshelf would probably surprise some people, considering the way i might come off here (just sayin' i might come off as antagonistic towards religion... which i am... but it's not out of raw defiance or ignorance).

anyways... point is.. find god for yourself. don't define the subject through other people. i'm trying to take my own advice there btw.. if i took other people into account, i wouldn't consider myself loved by god either. religious people can sometimes just bring you down and make you feel even less accepted.. i have many stories on that.

 

[soccerjunkie1996]

What's up with this God fellow and why does he taunt me so?

He (or she/it, depending on who's ideology you choose to buy into) is almost certainly a creation of human imagination.

I would LOVE to beleive in something, have a community of a sort and have that feeling of safety, calm and acceptance that people can find with religion but it just doesn't click.

Can I ask why you feel that sense of community has to be based in religion? There are plenty of community organizations outside of religious ones.

Part of this is because I feel that who I AM doesn't quite jive correctly with a lot of religions- for some I'm too exhuberant and fascinated by sensory experiences, for some I am an evil sinful harlot... and I can't stand the idea of a religion that would send anyone to Hell... if I couldn't do it I sure as hell don't want to beleive in a God who would

You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to belong to a church, its doctrine comes with it, whether you agree with it or not.

And it's not that I'm an atheist either- I beleive in something- just the thought that I can't quite put my finger on it really bugs me... religions fascinate me, I love reading about them, but I can't manage to fit in

Yet you keep trying, which leads me to ask: why?

I feel exactly the same way that you do. I want to believe, but I just don't feel it.

Why do you want to believe though?

 

[Oberon]

why doesn't God love me?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's because you blew off the Chicago meet-up.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

anyways... point is.. find god for yourself. don't define the subject through other people. i'm trying to take my own advice there btw.. if i took other people into account, i don't consider myself loved by god either. religious people can sometimes just bring you down and make you feel even less accepted.. i have many stories on that.

This.

The only person who should define your relationship with God (or w/e higher power you prefer) is you.

I've been told (and tend to agree) that anything that gets between you and God, which can include church and others who tell you how or what to believe, is not of God.

Before you can really join a community of other believers, I would say that you should decide how you would like spirituality to fit into your life. Once you have that completed, you can then go about finding like minded others who can help you grow in your relationship with God.

 

[miss fortune]

yeah, I beleive in kindness- I couldn't live in a world without it

I beleive that everything living is connected in a way- almost like when Emerson described us as tidepools that are eventually washed back into the ocean

I feel more connected in nature and outdoors than inside and with technology- there's a feeling of connectedness and LIFE out there that I can't ever get in a church- even though the architecture of cathedrals thrills me from an artistic viewpoint

I beleive that there's nothing wrong with enjoying food and sensations- that they are a part of life and a manner of connecting with it in a way

but there's just a kind of lack of community thing there- when other people talk religion I don't ever intend to be snippy or antagonistic, because the fact that they can succeed in finding a hole that their peg fits into is cool... it's just kind of hard to identify in a way

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I looked for God for years as a physical presence because everyone would always talk about FEELING God's presence, but I never could find anything like that exactly.

I've felt that. Or something which I labelled as caused by God's presence, at least. It felt remarkably similar to tripping on acid, actually. From the stomach (for those who have tripped on acid). I would feel it even when I had been thinking about other things at the time. It was sufficient to attract my attention from wherever it had been previously. It wasn't random either -- it'd happen mostly when I went into particular churches, and happened without fail when I participated in a baptism.

So I've felt it, but I don't know what to make of it. I hear you about hell (ie everlasting torment), though. It's been considered throughout church history as one of the trickier doctrines. Really anyone who believes that salvation is by grace shouldn't have much of a problem with universalism.

For what it's worth, Whatever, I would totally let you into heaven.

 

[Saslou]

I think you have to be an ExxJ to start a religion

Cool .. I'll start a religion then

The 'book' will only contain one page which will state ...

When one door closes doesn't necessarily mean all the doors are closed.

Keep options and other perspectives open.

Over analyzing takes away from the moment .. Quiet the mind.

Do what makes you feel good.

Go forth and spread the word .. Will happily accept any donations for the cause .. These one page books are not cheap.



On a serious note though .. Not much help here but i hope you find some clarity.

 

[Jaguar]

What's up with this God fellow and why does he taunt me so?

Because you view God as something outside of yourself. Worse yet, "a fellow." As if to suggest the concept of God is a man.

"Why does he taunt me so?" The only person taunting you - is you.

I would LOVE to beleive in something...

the fact that I don't feel a CONNECTION is what's bugging me..

The "connection" you are lacking isn't with religion.
You say you would love to believe in something? Fine. Start with yourself.

Best to you.

 

[cafe]

Even as a believer and a religious person, I feel this often enough. I don't have any solutions, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one to feel this. I mean, I do feel the connection at times, but generally I don't seem to feel the same things other people feel when experiencing the same things they are in a spiritual context. I thought it was introversion, but this thread makes me think that might not be the case.