Why doesn't anyone like ESFJ's?

[SecantSquared]

indeed. you shall take the western european countries, my minion. *laughs evilly*

 

[Wild horses]

I didn't know that there was a biased against them particularly... I can only speak for myself and say that I for one really like ESFJs and have alot of respect for them

 

[corey_vann]

indeed. you shall take the western european countries, my minion. *laughs evilly*

cool. all those eastern ones looked depressing anyway, and with such weird alphabets. i want a language i can at least make out the letters, even if i don't know what they're saying.

 

[Cygnus]

I come down here and see this:

You should keep in mind that every Archetype has it's own idiosyncrasy/stereotype/negativity attached to it, regardless of whether those suppositions have any truth or not. This is the result of inductive reasoning prevailing over conductive reasoning.

So, I'm just going to state my opinions about the ESFJs that I know to straightforwardly answer your question.

Being an INFP, I view some of them as being obnoxious and obtrusive. They may also be materialistic and "party animals". They may also try to force others to reciprocate when they are generous or "altruistic".

However, they can be very pleasent if the circumstances are proper.

Then I see this:

ESFJs are weak and pathetic insects who serve the hive and its overly powerful overlords as they are and will ever remain continually trapped in the matrix while INTPs destroy this pathetic world in order to recreate it anew in a perfected state hence making INTPs the Grand Architects of Creation!

And then you post something like this:

• 
  
  [*]Why do you say nice things to people, then talk shit about them behind their back?
  

And this:

To all ESFJs: STOP being phony with me. if you want to say or hint at something, SAY IT!! The sophistication in which an ESFJ dances around a topic makes a faggot in a tutu appear masculine. Bitches, ALL of y'all. For the sake of human communication and our planet, harden up when you speak to any XXTP.

Case in point: this thread is a patronizing hypocritical apology. I rest my case.

 

[valaki]

Ohh Nihilogen and his love for necrophiliac actions

Btw I think [MENTION=15371]RaptorWizard[/MENTION] was just being uniquely funny ;p

I didn't read the thread otherwise so no idea on the rest.

But I'll say I don't mind ESFJ's any more than any other type. A family member is an ESFJ and she's cool.

 

[LadyLazarus]

I have known a few ESFJ's(my father,my aunt,weird aquintance "friend" girl,and my sister's enemy friend) and I've found(among those 4 anyway) that they can be rather bossy,which I think is something most people would find rather hard to swallow.

I've found that they tend to gravitate toward me,in real life because I'm usually very easy-going and can deal with their bossiness(although I hate being told what to do for stupid prideful reasons),I've noticed that if I just agree to do what they say and not do it(or brush it off as a joke),they tend to forget about it,like they only want to feel in control at face value.

They can be kind of smothering and tend to hurt my feelings quite a bit though...I also dislike that "try to guilt you into doing what I want" thing the one's I've known have tended to do.

So far this has held true for all the ESFJ's I've met aside from my father,who tends to look more like a either an ESTP or an ESTJ depending on the scenario,from the outside,although it's evident that it's all a charade once you get close enough.

Although,I think it may just be that ESFJ and ISFP are just not a good match,or at least that is the impression I have gotten from observing my parent's relationship(mother is also an ISFP),they seem to want to rip each other's throats out one second and then return to being civil the next.It's weird to say the least.
In retrospect though,I can totally see how the ESFJ's usually critical nature can be hard on a fi-dom as well as how the overly-sensitive nature of fi-doms can be hard on ESFJ's.

Also,I feel the only person who gets along worse with my father than my mother is my ISTJ sister,it's not as evident as with my mother,but theirs is more of a relationship of distance in order to maintain the peace.

I have noticed that the J's in my life don't seem to get along well with most other J's...

Naturally,though,this doesn't apply to all,ESFJ's,like every other type,there are good and bad ESFJ's.

 

[valaki]

So far this has held true for all the ESFJ's I've met aside from my father,who tends to look more like a either an ESTP or an ESTJ depending on the scenario,from the outside,although it's evident that it's all a charade once you get close enough.

Interesting, the ESFJ family member I have is like that too. And not really trying to guilt people into doing whatever etc.

 

[LadyLazarus]

Interesting, the ESFJ family member I have is like that too. And not really trying to guilt people into doing whatever etc.

Are they male?So far I've only noticed this with male ESFJ's,

I think they're probably just trying to fit the traditional "manly-man" image thing.

 

[RaptorWizard]

The most complete number at the most complete date is 1 to 8.

 

[prplchknz]

I like ESFJs but i have this odd ability to get along with just about anyone

 

[Cygnus]

This is all too familiar to me! My mother and my sister are both ESFJ.

Both of these ESFJs have always been trying to change my room (and nowadays my own apartment) and move my furniture, etc. When I tell them "No, this as it is works the best for me", they aren't getting it. Once, after a twenty-minute repetition of "No." I had to let my sister rearrange my furniture. When she left, I immediately moved everything as they were. They are utterly intrusive.

Um MrRandom, newsflash: that's all parents who do that. Even INTPs behave this way, I've seen it.



Don't believe me? Take a look at this. An INTP posted this:

Stressful day yesterday was.

(WARNING: Child Abuse and fucking morons. Don't read if you're sensitive to these topics.)

So my boyfriend and I are doing some shopping and we sit down to take a break and get some food in our tummies. This lady walks in with her (roughly 2 years old) daughter and they sit down next to us. All is normal until after a while, I look over and see the little girl has a bloody nose. Out of instinct, I grab some of our napkins and walk over, since the mom isn't even paying attention--she was on her cell phone. I say "Excuse me, miss, your daughter is..." and then wipe the blood off the little girl before putting the napkins up to her nose.

Sure, maybe I shouldn't have, but for fuck's sake it was ALL OVER HER. Her dumbass mom wasn't taking care of her, so I had to step in.

And then, I nearly punched the mom. Why? She fucking not only shoves me away, she starts screaming her lungs out at the poor girl. Me and some other people are trying to get the mom to calm down, and my boyfriend is holding the toddler and wiping her nose. I mean this bitch was fucking screaming all kinds of obscenities at her. It's a damn bloody nose, not your 2 year old kid confessing to murdering your dog.

While all this is happening, I hear her say "When we get home I'mma whoop your little ass!" Aaand that's when my boyfriend and I call the cops. All this over a fucking bloody nose. The cuntbag turned out to have multiple drug and alcohol related offenses against her and a violent past. She isn't getting her child back. Thank whatever God or Gods there may be.

I can't imagine what the little girl might've gone through considering how ridiculous her "mom" overreacted to a simple fucking issue. I'm glad SS took her from her mom. She deserves better. I actually offered to take her, but they had to decline since they prefer to give children to trustworthy relatives. I was pretty upset by it so I called my mom and thanked her for being an awesome parent who never yelled at me for simple accidents. And, you know, paid attention to me. And didn't act like a baby when I was a baby. Thanks, mom. I love you.

Getting involved in things with which you have no business much?

 

[jixmixfix]

Hello there, I just joined today. I recently took the MBTI from a counselor and tested ESFJ. After coming here and reading all the posts it seems like my type is more of a curse for me. What are the reasons why everyone is so down on my type?

Because they're loud and annoying.

 

[valaki]

Are they male?So far I've only noticed this with male ESFJ's,

I think they're probably just trying to fit the traditional "manly-man" image thing.

No, female.

 

[Ukon]

Um MrRandom, newsflash: that's all parents who do that. Even INTPs behave this way, I've seen it.



Don't believe me? Take a look at this. An INTP posted this:





Getting involved in things with which you have no business much?

Saving a child from her abusive, neglectful addicted mother IS my business, and I'll damn well take care of a child if their parents won't do their job. That is MY business if you can't be assed to be attentive to your child, especially a child who did nothing wrong. Thing is, I'm still flabbergasted that shit happened. People just don't pay attention to their children. In fact, they never did. They don't listen or stop to use logic. They just don't care. Hardly anyone is cut out to be a parent nowadays. And if they won't care, I will, because that's the next generation we have to raise. That's the next generation, and no child deserves being abused and neglected like that.

I knew that mother was unfit just by how she was acting; I didn't need the cops to tell me she had a history of abuse with drugs, alcohol, among other things. If it was a mom who simply hadn't noticed, she wouldn't have reacted that way. She would have tended to her child, and all would have been well. But that stupid dirtbag even looked at her kid and didn't do a damn thing. She's lucky my boyfriend didn't smash her head against the floor. Unlike her, he actually is a decent human being.

If I give more of a shit about your child than you do, then it is my goddamn business and I WILL step in.

Don't even think of making such a sick comparison between some worthless scumbag of a mother who's abusing her daughter to people moving around your furniture. Yes, that is annoying and I totally sympathize with whoever you quoted, but don't even start. That shit isn't fucking cool.

 

[prplchknz]

Hello there, I just joined today. I recently took the MBTI from a counselor and tested ESFJ. After coming here and reading all the posts it seems like my type is more of a curse for me. What are the reasons why everyone is so down on my type?

People like to believe stereotypes, and extend those stereotypes to all esfjs, or any type. It's annoying, but I say just continue to post and be you. And you'll either be an asshole or be awesome, which doesn't matter what type you are, also I think people find one person of a type and hate that person, so every other person of that type is automatically hated. I've been guilty of that myself.

 

[Haven]

I like that this was OP's first and only post

 

[prplchknz]

I like that this was OP's first and only post

I didn't read the date it was posted, oh well.

 

[great_bay]

What is everyone talking about? ESFJ's are one of the most popular types in real life.

 

[laterlazer]

What is everyone talking about? ESFJ's are one of the most popular types in real life.

My thoughts exactly. People online aren't going to like them.

 

[violet_crown]

What is everyone talking about? ESFJ's are one of the most popular types in real life.

Second time I'm quoting myself today.

It's more out of laziness for efficiency's sake than vanity (...probably).

Are we talking about the most disliked type in general? Or the type that we personally find distateful? Last I checked, ESFJs generally socially succesful individuals. Most of the ones that I know have a lot of friends, and are pretty socially capable. That might be grounds for dislike on this Island of Misfit Toys, but it's not in the rest of the world.

If we're talking about personality types that tend not to be liked by most people they encounter, then we're talking about INTs. No one has time for INTPs and their Ti-dom nitpicking, Fe-inferior morally superior while meanwhile basically lacking in life skills personas. And people could similarly give two shits about INTJs and their arrogant, dogmatic and generally insufferable, high-handed dickishness.

And why is this the case? Well, for one, the average person is fairly fucking stupid. They tend to gravitate towards what's familiar and makes them feel good about themselves, and disdain the things that aren't and don't. People don't hate ESJs: that's their mothers and fathers; their coach and the cheerleader who wouldn't look at them twice--regular fixtures of mundane lives who maintain the status quo for themselves and others. The ones people hate are the know-it-all little shit heads who made them feel dumb in math class, and now work at Goldman or pullin seven figures at a gig in Silicon Valley or do neither and yet still feel superior from the safety of his mom's basement. Those are the guys who earn real and lasting contempt from the hoi polloi.