Why do you cry?

[substitute]

thats like me and all negative emotions...when people want to hear me cry, i can talk bout it and work it so i come across as the silent type...in reality, whats done is done. no use crying over spilt water

i actually remember thinking if i should cry or not when something worth crying over happened last, but then i realized that having this thought invalidates the the purpose of crying except maybe for the people around me...so i didnt cry

Seems the ENTP's are in uncharacteristic accord on this - usually we argue against each other for the hell of it

For me, nothing - nothing - makes me feel better about something bad, more than PUTTING IT RIGHT. Crying, wallowing - waste of time I could've spent in action. All I care about is doing something about the situation, that overrides any sense of how this thing affected me - almost the very minute I realize how something's negatively affected me, I'm immediately seeing the bigger picture and realizing how it would also be affecting others, that it's been happening for time and nobody's done anything - that makes me angry and that makes me take action because I can't suffer the situation to exist any longer. I can see the chain of events and circumstances that have led to the situation, both for me and for society as a whole, and I immediately set about finding ways to smash that chain to pieces and put something better in its place. The anger and the resultant action is my response and release. It's there, but it doesn't control me; I use it. Laborare est orare - and in my case, flere (heh, pretentious, moi? )

Things I can't put right, like someone being dead - well, I just accept that *shrug* - who's going to tell me that I shouldn't, and instead cry and rail against reality?

The way I do it is to think about the good times, this makes me realize those times are gone. i dont think about the death or anything, just the times we had together.

But what's the point of that? It's like you're feeling some kind of obligation to cry, and because you can't just do it naturally, you're finding ways to talk yourself into it? That seems bizarre to me. Besides, if I think of the good times, I just smile. I don't feel like I have to cry because there aren't going to be any more - I knew they wouldn't go on forever at the time, as nothing does. To me, crying over this sort of thing seems somewhat neurotic, like it presupposes an original denial of reality, and later a refusal to accept it when it catches up with you. There is a slight sense of sorrow for me, that I put off making amends with my dad for too long and now I never will be able to, but again, that doesn't make me want to cry. That'd just seem childish to me - crying over spilt milk and all that. Just take the lesson from it, that's the way I see it - don't delay making amends with people in future.

 

[substitute]

Joy

Yeah, that one I can relate to.

Positive things such as extreme joy, relief or happiness, those things can threaten to get the better of me - though even so I find that as soon as I feel the lump in my throat and that feeling in my eyes, I find myself involuntarily repressing it. I don't repress the feeling inside, just the external manifestation of it to that extreme. I'll still smile and laugh and say I'm happy, I won't hide that I'm delighted, but I just can't let myself cry over it.

So yeah, in short for me it's like I can't cry at all externally for some sort of subconscious reason beyond my conscious control. But whilst extreme positive feelings make me feel the spontaneous urge to, it doesn't even cross my mind as a possible response to negative things.