WHY can't I become someone else? Why is it not possible to really change?

[mysavior]

I've always heard that you are who you are, and that there isn't any real way to change yourself. Why is this the case? Why is core personality set in stone!? With all the developments I've seen in the area of psychology (hypnosis, NLP, cognitive/behavioral therapy, brainwave generation) why is it still not possible to retrain someone into an entirely new person?

I'm not sure how to say it, but I'm a bit baffled and annoyed that I cant think of a way to change myself, and that no one else has thought of a way to make it happen.

IF I WANT TO TWEAK, OR SIGNIFICANTLY ALTER MY PERSONALITY, THEN HOW DO I DO IT!??!?

With the collective brain power on these forums, there shouldn't be a reason why a solution could not be determined.

 

[INTJMom]

I've always heard that you are who you are, and that there isn't any real way to change yourself. Why is this the case? Why is core personality set in stone!? With all the developments I've seen in the area of psychology (hypnosis, NLP, cognitive/behavioral therapy, brainwave generation) why is it still not possible to retrain someone into an entirely new person?

I'm not sure how to say it, but I'm a bit baffled and annoyed that I cant think of a way to change myself, and that no one else has thought of a way to make it happen.

IF I WANT TO TWEAK, OR SIGNIFICANTLY ALTER MY PERSONALITY, THEN HOW DO I DO IT!??!?

With the collective brain power on these forums, there shouldn't be a reason why a solution could not be determined.

I think it depends on the way in which you want to change.

As far as MBTI type goes, "they" say a person growing in good health and maturing properly will subconsciously choose one preference that they naturally and most easily use, but IMO, MBTI preferences are a small part of the whole person. Besides that, I think that the programming of the human mind in this way is far more complex than we are currently capable of understanding, and so re-programming it would be amazingly difficult - and then - who would we practice on until we got it right?

What about yourself would you like to change?

 

[Totenkindly]

I've always heard that you are who you are, and that there isn't any real way to change yourself. Why is this the case? Why is core personality set in stone!? With all the developments I've seen in the area of psychology (hypnosis, NLP, cognitive/behavioral therapy, brainwave generation) why is it still not possible to retrain someone into an entirely new person?

Because a portion of who you are is rooted in your brain structure, biology, physiology, etc.

You can change and rewire yourself partly through extensive practice/environmental influences/discipline; but it's a very painful process and unnatural after a certain point.

Think about it: Even the ways you go about changing yourself that have the chance to be successful HAVE to be based on who you are right now (!).

(So even if you changed, the change still depended on a stable way that you uniquely process information and draw conclusions.)

The trick (I suppose) is in determining what parts of us we can and should change, and what parts we must learn to accept.

 

[cascadeco]

Well, I agree with INTJMom that mbti is just a piece of all of it.

With mbti theory, what I gather is that ones' preference - kneejerk response, I suppose - is what isn't going to change, and can't change.

But as far as working on aspects of yourself that you're not happy with, or working to balance things out, as far as I'm concerned, the sky's the limit. I really do think if you have the desire to become more a certain way, it will happen. (I mean, within reason). Doesn't mean your innate preference isn't always going to be there, but your outward response, or net conclusion, could very well change.

For example. Do you want to become more friendly, or outgoing, or more organized, or less organized, or more open, or less open, etc? Well, there are tangible things you can do to work on that. Will it always be rather uncomfortable? Well, probably. It could also be a very unpleasant emotional experience, working on the stuff. But there's nothing saying you can't work on what you perceive as your weaknesses, or things you don't like much about yourself.

Not really tied to mbti (I don't think!) - but by my mid-20's I had become incredibly disillusioned, unhappy, and rather cynical. I hated that I'd become this way, because it was affecting my life and how I viewed pretty much everything. I could have just stayed there, saying, 'Eh, it's just how I am, I'll always be cynical.' But I really didn't think I HAD to stay there. So, I *chose* to work on it. It took about 3 years to do that. And, I truly do feel that I re-wired my brain -- and much of it was a perception change - a way of looking at things, and life, that I hadn't entertained previously. Will my instantaneous response be more on the cynical side? Maybe, but I certainly don't sit there anymore, which is all that matters to me.

On the other hand -- I will **never** ever be a good storyteller, or be the entertainment of a group of people. That is a hopeless endeavor, and it's so completely against who I am, that there's no point in me even trying!! As much as I'd love to be a good storyteller, and am rather envious of those who have that talent!! Sigh..I'll just keep giving my eyes-averted, not terribly descriptive stories that aren't captivating, and there's no changing that.