[Traditional Enneagram] Why am I so obsessed with fives???

[ThoughtBubbles]

Ever since I was small I was so enamored with fives. the love is not always mutual, I think because I'm a 4 some of them find me overwhelming, gushy, too emotional to bother with, etc.

But I tend to have a lot of fives in my life. Like all my favourite teachers were fives. I've had five friends or "friend crushes." My oldest friendship is with a 5w6 male and we still talk almost daily despite that we've been out of high school for a decade (ew I'm getting old!).

I'm a creative writer and I frequently write from a character's perspective that is a five. If the main character isnt a five, there is always some sort of five in the story. Usually it is the love interest, but it can also be a really crucial character in the main character's development.

It's worth noting I don't have a celebrity crush of any kind, but I tend to get crushes on characters in media. They apparently all end up being fives when I google them. I especially have a thing for the five villains.

It's also safe to say my "type" for dating is really strongly five-centric too. Especially 5w4s.

WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS???????

No one and I mean NO ONE in my family was a five and I have no early memories of any fives. Only did I start realizing the pattern as a teenager.

I only have one guess. I am very confident of my type (4 with a very strong 5 wing). My favorite and most effective therapist (lol she is a self-proclaimed 5w4) said she thought I had a strong five wing and also that a lot of my values are very five-ish. So my guess is I have a lot of unconscious pull towards five out of a desire to further develop my wing.

IDEK THOUGH WTAF???

 

[Peter Deadpan]

You and me both, girlfraaand. (don't ever let me say that again)

Actually, I am heavily attracted to men of the 458 tritype because of this mutually challenging dynamic, but also because they seem to be the only men that can handle me, and I the only woman who can "handle" them.

Notice that I only put quotes are their handling, and I am confident that they get why, without me having to convey any explanation.

We speak the same tongue.
We dance the same steps over the burning coals.
We are the coals.

 

[ThoughtBubbles]

You and me both, girlfraaand. (don't ever let me say that again) Actually, I am heavily attracted to men of the 458 tritype because of this mutually challenging dynamic, but also because they seem to be the only men that can handle me, and I the only woman who can "handle" them. Notice that I only put quotes are their handling, and I am confident that they get why, without me having to convey any explanation. We speak the same tongue. We dance the same steps over the burning coals. We are the coals.

OH MY GOD YOU GET ME

I feel the EXACT same. My ex was that tritype and what we had was the most explosive chemistry in all facets. But he was so unhealthy. My first female flame was that tritype too and she was even more of a clusterfuck (thank God we never actually in a real relationship, she was super mental, like got kicked out of school for acting nuts). I don't know how to not keep going after that type lol 😂

I am a strong personality, a 147 sx/so. I think most people can't keep me mentally hooked the way a five can... But especially that tritype.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

OH MY GOD YOU GET ME

I feel the EXACT same. My ex was that tritype and what we had was the most explosive chemistry in all facets. But he was so unhealthy. My first female flame was that tritype too and she was even more of a clusterfuck (thank God we never actually in a real relationship, she was super mental, like got kicked out of school for acting nuts). I don't know how to not keep going after that type lol 😂

I am a strong personality, a 147 sx/so. I think most people can't keep me mentally hooked the way a five can... But especially that tritype.

Sounds familiar. I dated a guy whom I think was that tritype. I used to think he was a 5w4, but lately I've been thinking he may have been an 8 with lots of disintegration. It was a painfully exquisite icy hot relationship that haunts me to this day. Once you taste it, it's difficult to fully savor other flavors.

Sigh. Where do I go from here?
Don't answer that.

 

[ThoughtBubbles]

Sounds familiar. I dated a guy whom I think was that tritype. I used to think he was a 5w4, but lately I've been thinking he may have been an 8 with lots of disintegration. It was a painfully exquisite icy hot relationship that haunts me to this day. Once you taste it, it's difficult to fully savor other flavors. Sigh. Where do I go from here? Don't answer that.

If you ever need to process it, I'm your girl. Though I guess I'm a total stranger too so there's that lol

 

[I Tonya]

I love how you talk about them but they never reply on here.
I currently seduced a 5w4. I don't think I can put up with a w6 and that lack of compassion. No no no.

Sometimes they really p*ss me off with their quiet nature and lack of eye contact. Makes me wanna shake them and slap the life into them. Trust me, I only get agressive with the ppl close to me. Idc about strangers. Like put the phone downand talk to me or I'm leaving you and never coming back.
The lil annoying 5w4 isn't very nice to ppl he doesn't care about, and that frustrates me yet makes me feel special. I can really get under the skin. Its only fair that I do when they know exactly how to hurt me bad.

 

[ThoughtBubbles]

I love how you talk about them but they never reply on here. I currently seduced a 5w4. I don't think I can put up with a w6 and that lack of compassion. No no no. Sometimes they really p*ss me off with their quiet nature and lack of eye contact. Makes me wanna shake them and slap the life into them. Trust me, I only get agressive with the ppl close to me. Idc about strangers. Like put the phone downand talk to me or I'm leaving you and never coming back. The lil annoying 5w4 isn't very nice to ppl he doesn't care about, and that frustrates me yet makes me feel special. I can really get under the skin. Its only fair that I do when they know exactly how to hurt me bad.

Yeah they probably don't give a fuck that someone likes them lol

How long have you been seeing your 5?

 

[I Tonya]

Yeah they probably don't give a fuck that someone likes them lol

Lmao this is so true.

How long have you been seeing your 5?

Like 2 yrs, and I was the one who initiated the relationship because y'know they wouldn't make a move. He was in love with me because we were really good friends before dating.
Idk how, but he was just accepting of who I was and my dark side, my fears and concerns. Even if I tried to say I don't need him, the opposite is true. I can't be without him by my side, idk if that's e6 thing wanting his guidance and support. He knows all my weaknesses and my life.

 

[LucieCat]

Some people are just drawn to certain types. I'm not sure if I'm drawn to a particular Enneagram type, but I can definitely see the appeal in 5s. I usually find myself appreciative of their view on the world and ideas.

 

[notmyapples]

Me with 3s.

 

[Mind Maverick]

....5s fangirl thread, ftw...

 

[ThoughtBubbles]

....5s fangirl thread, ftw...

ftw???

what win is it for you? you're a nine!!

 

[Mind Maverick]

ftw???

what win is it for you? you're a nine!!

Hmm, yes. I just meant that think it's pecuiliar that this thread exists. Ngl, I like 5s too, but talking about it on a thread is just...strange and somewhat pointless from my point of view.

 

[ThoughtBubbles]

Hmm, yes. I just meant that think it's pecuiliar that this thread exists. Ngl, I like 5s too, but talking about it on a thread is just...strange and somewhat pointless from my point of view.

is it pointless because they won't respond?


i think i made this thread less because i wanted to rave about fives and more because i was so confused why i have such an apparent "five attraction button" when i never had any formative experiences with fives. but then the thread became derailed and morphed into a five fangirl thread.

we can't help it, they're just that awesome

 

[I Tonya]

is it pointless because they won't respond?


i think i made this thread less because i wanted to rave about fives and more because i was so confused why i have such an apparent "five attraction button" when i never had any formative experiences with fives. but then the thread became derailed and morphed into a five fangirl thread.

we can't help it, they're just that awesome

It's not pointless, I think its because your wing is 5 maybe?

I mean I think e7 are hawt asf but now that would be a pointless thread.

I think Hexcoder made a pointless comment, but I think she's coming from the not feeling comfortable expressing how much she likes them like you did

 

[Red Memories]

I think, similar to how MBTI types are naturally attracted to those valuing their weaker function, we may admire an enneagram type that is our weaker link.

I end up surrounded by E9s. I myself am not an E9. I even sometimes get irritated with them because I feel they aren't serious enough, or feel they make a defense list for people who should be impaled on a stick. Nevertheless, I realized the E9s balance me. They take my negative side of impulsive, rash anger and judgment, and my taking life too seriously, and get me to see a new perspective or loosen up. If I didn't have 9s in my life I may go nuts.

So I would maybe look in what the 5 balances in you.

 

[Mind Maverick]

is it pointless because they won't respond?


i think i made this thread less because i wanted to rave about fives and more because i was so confused why i have such an apparent "five attraction button" when i never had any formative experiences with fives. but then the thread became derailed and morphed into a five fangirl thread.

we can't help it, they're just that awesome

I see. Well, that's definitely different than what it looked like, I suppose it got derailed indeed, but if you're genuinely looking for answers to a question then I suppose this was a misunderstanding. But yeah. I suppose it might work if you narrow it down to specific reasons you like 5s? Perhaps you'll find a pattern or common denominator among the reasons? Are they things you lack but like in others? Are they things you have in common with them? Are they things you value, such as a tendency to seem unintrusive?

It's not pointless, I think its because your wing is 5 maybe?

I mean I think e7 are hawt asf but now that would be a pointless thread.

I think Hexcoder made a pointless comment, but I think she's coming from the not feeling comfortable expressing how much she likes them like you did

Hmm, I'm not sure why you became offended by my opinion, but alright. Sure, we'll say that's what it was. Lol. In all seriousness though, sorry for any offense caused. I still don't see a point in expressing it on a thread when it's directionless and without a goal in mind, however, but to each his own I suppose.

 

[I Tonya]

If I didn't have 9s in my life I may go nuts.

If I didn't have a 5w4 in my life I'd go nuts too.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I currently seduced a 5w4. I don't think I can put up with a w6 and that lack of compassion. No no no.

Curious: what made you say that ?

 

[ThoughtBubbles]

I see. Well, that's definitely different than what it looked like, I suppose it got derailed indeed, but if you're genuinely looking for answers to a question then I suppose this was a misunderstanding. But yeah. I suppose it might work if you narrow it down to specific reasons you like 5s? Perhaps you'll find a pattern or common denominator among the reasons? Are they things you lack but like in others? Are they things you have in common with them? Are they things you value, such as a tendency to seem unintrusive?



Hmm, I'm not sure why you became offended by my opinion, but alright. Sure, we'll say that's what it was. Lol. In all seriousness though, sorry for any offense caused. I still don't see a point in expressing it on a thread when it's directionless and without a goal in mind, however, but to each his own I suppose.

I'm not really sure why Borns was offended either. I didn't take what you said as particularly upsetting. It only made me want to post videos of like Homestar Runner or Nyan Cat and be like, "isn't everything on the internet pointless?" lmao

but i thought your points were still decent.

I made this thread because I'd already considered what you and [MENTION=33903]Hummingbird Spirit[/MENTION] said already. I am not entirely sure if it is about qualities I lack because I do have a very strong 5 wing. I do think I'm very fiveish at the age I'm at now. When I was much younger and less well-rounded, I still did have that nascent five side so maybe it's possible it started out with me compensating for what I lacked. But what about now when I do feel quite well-adjusted and settled into my five wing?

I also am intensely emotional but I don't think I'm "fly off the handle" emotional. I don't think I need someone to make up for my lack of logic or anything. I am strategic, logical, and highly analytical on my own. So I feel like I have those qualities.

I do think fives tend to demonstrate myers briggs types that are a little more opposite of me though. I'm quite effusive irl and a people person. I am charmed by their quiet intensity. Maybe it is a commonality, but a secret commonality? People often tended to think I was a dummy growing up because of my peppiness and girliness which has always been a huge point of insecurity. My mother used to prey on my intelligence and would call me stupid a lot too (despite how I always had straight As like my whole life). Maybe I crave having a five validate my mind?

I am not sure though. Never could figure it out.