Who is the most protective type?

[kathara]

When it comes to mates, which MBTI type is the most protective? How about jealous?

 

[Totenkindly]

They can all be protective and/or jealous in different ways. What sort of protective and jealous are you looking for?

Some male types will be more aggressive, some will be more aloof. But the more aggressive ones also can show control issues over the woman in the relationship too. So it's a balancing act. The ones who are more aloof and expect the woman to fend more for herself also tend to give the woman more freedom.

That being said, ISFP males tend to be very kind and loving, while also rising out of their low-key attitude to defend women they are in a relationship with (they are like soft-spoken knights, in general). But they might be too soft for some.

What are you looking for?

 

[substitute]

Yeah I thought the same thing... there're different kinds of protectiveness. Some are pure and sweet, whilst others are controlling and manipulative and not entirely done for the good of the protectee!

Having said that, if you get an ExTJ on your side, you can walk through life without fear, heheh.

 

[kathara]

Umm, well the idea is that I was walking home with a guy one evening, and we were attacked by three other guys. And the guy I was with paralysed with fear, and did nothing while the attackers started pulling on my clothes, and so I had to fight them off myself. I came off with a broken nose, and had to have some surgery done to fix it.

So, I supppose I am looking for a guy that is more inclined to be physically fit /brave cause I really dont want to go through stuff like that again.

As to being jealous I admit to being so. And I like my men with a touch of jealousy, or else I might appear to be a raving lunatic.

 

[cafe]

I'm protective and would be jealous if my spouse ever gave me reason to be, but by protective I mean that people had darn well better be good to him or face my wrath. His little toenail is worth more to me than any ten idiots that are too stupid to see how much they are his inferiors in every way.

My husband (INTP) can be protective. If he felt I was in any real danger . . . I wouldn't want to be the person who made him feel that way. Generally, though, he trusts me to take care of myself and I have never seen him show a sign of jealousy in the sixteen years we've know each other.

 

[substitute]

Umm, well the idea is that I was walking home with a guy one evening, ....

Well that's an awful experience, I can well understand you not wanting to repeat it.

I live in a very rough neighbourhood and although I'm no great fighter and I'm not particularly physically strong, I've managed to escape quite a few controntations unscathed, but every time it's been because I sensed the intent before they got within reach of me, and took the initiative by opening verbal negotiations, so to speak. Every situation has gone from an extremely tense beginning where anything could happen, to ending with them sharing cigarettes with me and we've patted each other on the back like old pals before parting.

So whilst I couldn't necessarily say which type would be physically able to protect you (maybe ESTP is odds on to have the athletic ability and strength, but that doesn't guaruntee that they have the courage when in the line of fire), I can say that an ENxP would be likely to diffuse most situations from happening in the first place.

Oh, and incidentally, I'm violently, hideously jealous. I mean really... seriously. I do my best to restrain it and not be possessive, but it's hard... and weird too, cos with friends I'm completely laissez-faire. It's just when romantically involved with someone, I'm quite ENTJ-ish in expecting total, unswerving loyalty. My partner is the sun to me, and at the first sign that I'm not to them, I'm outta there. Which is why it's been a good thing I've been celibate for years and am staying so from henceforth!

 

[Randomnity]

Umm, well the idea is that I was walking home with a guy one evening, and we were attacked by three other guys. And the guy I was with paralysed with fear, and did nothing while the attackers started pulling on my clothes, and so I had to fight them off myself. I came off with a broken nose, and had to have some surgery done to fix it.

So, I supppose I am looking for a guy that is more inclined to be physically fit /brave cause I really dont want to go through stuff like that again.

As to being jealous I admit to being so. And I like my men with a touch of jealousy, or else I might appear to be a raving lunatic.

I think the courage etc you are describing here can be found or lacking in any type. Also, it's hard to predict how even you would react in such a situation, let alone another person. I can imagine how I'd react but in the situation I could react totally differently to what I idealistically predicted.

My sympathies for your experience. You understand logically that such a thing is unlikely to reoccur, though? And even if you're unfortunate enough to live in a rough neighbourhood, it's probably more reliable to get some sort of self-defense training rather than relying on a male protector.

 

[Lateralus]

In my experience, an individual's protective nature has less to do with type and more to do with things like birth order (I'm not saying type has no effect). It sounds like you're looking for an eldest child, but not an only child. They tend to exhibit most of the traits you've been describing in here and on INTPc.

 

[findthejake]

Yeah I agree about the birth order bit. I am the oldest and insanely protective of all of my girl friends. Whether romantic or not. In a group if we are walking like downtown chicago or something I always drop to the back of the group so I can keep an eye on everyone and stuff like that. I am not a fighter but I usually intimidate guys down if my friends at the bar don't like the type of attention they are getting.
So yeah look for an guy who had a couple of sisters younger than him, I can almost guarantee if he is any kind of loving person that he is very protective and will, probably has, fight for a girls virtue.

 

[Metamorphosis]

In my experience, an individual's protective nature has less to do with type and more to do with things like birth order (I'm not saying type has no effect). It sounds like you're looking for an eldest child, but not an only child. They tend to exhibit most of the traits you've been describing in here and on INTPc.

I disagree. I'm an only child (basically) and I'm very protective with any female, even if it's just a friend, and I mean that particularly in the physical/walking around at night sense.

 

[INTJMom]

I disagree. I'm an only child (basically) and I'm very protective with any female, even if it's just a friend, and I mean that particularly in the physical/walking around at night sense.

You GO!

I am a first born and I have been known to stand up to bullies - even guys.

 

[Vortex]

I'm an only child and quite protective, also of my male friends. Luckily, a potentially nasty situation will often dissolve since the would-be attackers get quite confused when they see a cute blonde with murder in her eyes. I'm very far from reasonable or pacifistic if someone dear to me is threatened.

But I'll chime in on the self-defense lessons. I should take some of those myself.

 

[Ms. M]

It's interesting that this thread turned into a birth order conversation, because I read a book about birth order (not sure which one it was), and the advice I remember was to look for a significant other whose birth order was almost opposite of yours - first born women (like me) relate better to non-first-born men with older sisters, for example. The theory was that first born men - especially with younger sisters - are used to being the protector and that can cause conflict with a head-strong first born woman, whereas men with older sisters are still protective, but are used to dealing with more assertive women. In my own personal experience, however, the men I've dated or are platonic friends with who have sisters - regardless of their birth orders - have been more protective than those with only brothers. FindtheJake's comments sounded very much like them.

 

[Delilah]

I married an ESTJ male, and he is protective to a nearly invasive degree, also incredibly jealous, both of which annoy the hell out of me.

 

[miss fortune]

I think upbringing would be a big part as well- I've been involved with 2 different ENFJs and they were completely different. One of the guys was very protective of me and if someone else looked at me wrong he was there. The other guy wouldn't even defend himself, let alone me- I had to jump in when people would try to pick a fight with him because he apparently needed a woman to defend him!

 

[FDG]

I'm jealous. And protective. I want to cut off the hands of males that touch my girlfriend even if it's just on "amicable" terms

But I'm not controlling, meaning that I never ask about what the girl has done in her free time, where is she going, etc

 

[Natrushka]

I married an ESTJ male, and he is protective to a nearly invasive degree, also incredibly jealous, both of which annoy the hell out of me.

I'm married to an ISTJ and while he's protective he's quiet about it, usually it surprises me when it happens because I'm pretty independent and used to taking care of myself. The one thing he isn't is jealous, however.

 

[Recluse]

PROTECTIVENESS

I am a rank coward. At 5' tall and 95 pounds (on a pig-out day), I don't have much to defend myself with. If a group of men were to attack my sweetheart and me with the intention of raping me, I would stream like quicksilver into the nearest shadow. Fortunately, sweetheart is 6'3" and can fend for himself/me. I'm timid; he's protective. We're both INTPs.

JEALOUSY

I experience twinges of jealousy now and then, but I don't allow the feeling to affect the way that I treat people. Wouldn't be fair. It's my problem; I don't make it theirs. My boyfriend doesn't get jealous, and I don't give him a reason to.


Edit: That is a beautiful cat picture, Natrushka!

 

[mysavior]

Yea, ESTJ would be the worst.. then ENTJ, then ESTP, then ISTJ.

 

[Lateralus]

I disagree. I'm an only child (basically) and I'm very protective with any female, even if it's just a friend, and I mean that particularly in the physical/walking around at night sense.

I fail to see how your statement disagrees with mine. I can only assume you haven't read her posts on INTPc.