I seem to be an extraverted type. However, my P function seems to have grown overwhelmingly since I was a child, which causes much confusion for all of my functions. It causes much of the indecision present in NP types, despite the fact that leaving conversations open-ended with no loose-end tied used to make me feel very uncomfortable. However, pushing someone else because of my need for closure was something I myself labeled “needy†and avoided like the plague. I thought it was a sign that I needed someone to help me or I wouldn’t be okay: something that my mother radiated and that I was extremely fearful of showing. Her neediness was perhaps an extroverted Feeling function, but I assumed a Te function to others would have the same needy appearance, demanding more and more discussion time with me because I was yet unsatisfied with the result.
I didn’t need anyone to hold me, but I did absolutely need to reveal my feeling to somebody. My feelings had been severely subverted over the years, and if they weren’t expressed, I was afraid they would disappear and I would become ‘the walking dead,’ and worse, be left alone. (The connection here between feelings disappearing & ending up alone is unclear to me…)
I’m unsure of my E/I distinction because of the auxiliary Fi function in INTJ vs. its tertiary place in ENTJs. Is it possible I developed my Fe function in response to my circumstances? This would cause me to look an awfully lot like an ENTP and subjugate my Te function, which I have noticed is significantly weaker than before.
I used to be quite content in the world of my own thoughts and reveled in expressing these thoughts with little attention to my own feelings or those around me; I suppose my Se was in fine condition at that time, as I was very active and enjoyed sports (however, my memory of external environments seems to cause confusion as to whether Se or Si is more present). But since my Te function was weakened, I found it hard to concentrate because of some feeling that was constantly nagging and always sought expression. But the feeling was completely unclear to me, except for the fear that resulted from its continued (albeit natural) suppression (after all, if my Fe is in the 8th spot in my function stack, it would natural have a difficult time being expressed.) My Fi function seems intact, and I usually don’t have a problem calling someone out when they are expressing themselves in a way that seems shallow or manipulative, nor do I have patience with those who are soothed or swayed by such social entendres. Due to such sensitivity though, I am able to use such skills to my advantage, as with my self-developed social skills. Extroverts seem to have no problem doing this, which is why I’ve always assumed I was an Introvert, because of my aversion to social customs & expectations. Any external structure being forced upon me is not received well. However, my mother’s structure (which was undetectable to me, since I had not developed many social sensitivities at that age) was eventually assimilated (after about 19 years of resisting it) in order to alleviate the tension at home.
This is why I am working to discover my type. I have found myself resorting to my mother’s ways: if my feelings are not recognized, I exert them forcefully, whether or not the other party wishes to receive them. However, my natural function is Te, which causes me to feel uncomfortable & emotionally f***ed. Is this because of her? Or because of my function hierarchy?
I didn’t need anyone to hold me, but I did absolutely need to reveal my feeling to somebody. My feelings had been severely subverted over the years, and if they weren’t expressed, I was afraid they would disappear and I would become ‘the walking dead,’ and worse, be left alone. (The connection here between feelings disappearing & ending up alone is unclear to me…)
I’m unsure of my E/I distinction because of the auxiliary Fi function in INTJ vs. its tertiary place in ENTJs. Is it possible I developed my Fe function in response to my circumstances? This would cause me to look an awfully lot like an ENTP and subjugate my Te function, which I have noticed is significantly weaker than before.
I used to be quite content in the world of my own thoughts and reveled in expressing these thoughts with little attention to my own feelings or those around me; I suppose my Se was in fine condition at that time, as I was very active and enjoyed sports (however, my memory of external environments seems to cause confusion as to whether Se or Si is more present). But since my Te function was weakened, I found it hard to concentrate because of some feeling that was constantly nagging and always sought expression. But the feeling was completely unclear to me, except for the fear that resulted from its continued (albeit natural) suppression (after all, if my Fe is in the 8th spot in my function stack, it would natural have a difficult time being expressed.) My Fi function seems intact, and I usually don’t have a problem calling someone out when they are expressing themselves in a way that seems shallow or manipulative, nor do I have patience with those who are soothed or swayed by such social entendres. Due to such sensitivity though, I am able to use such skills to my advantage, as with my self-developed social skills. Extroverts seem to have no problem doing this, which is why I’ve always assumed I was an Introvert, because of my aversion to social customs & expectations. Any external structure being forced upon me is not received well. However, my mother’s structure (which was undetectable to me, since I had not developed many social sensitivities at that age) was eventually assimilated (after about 19 years of resisting it) in order to alleviate the tension at home.
This is why I am working to discover my type. I have found myself resorting to my mother’s ways: if my feelings are not recognized, I exert them forcefully, whether or not the other party wishes to receive them. However, my natural function is Te, which causes me to feel uncomfortable & emotionally f***ed. Is this because of her? Or because of my function hierarchy?
