Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What's Your Instinctual Stacking?

[Mia.]

They are the least common. It's just that a lor of people here probably mistype themselves.



Yes. And also, many confuse being Sx with "love" "emo" or something, and there's a lot of F on this board.



They are often like that. We can't deny it. But that doesn't mean that a lot of people here can be of theses stackings.



Yes.

Though, for Sx, I think is true to say that a lot of Sx people have a strong sexual presence and attraction, even when they are ugly. It's just that a lot of people here are like "I know i'm not intense and sexual, but I'am very romantic and I really, really want a relationship, so I'am Sx" or something. That's in part why a lot of people believe they are Sx while they are not.


I think the results are biased by the currents values among internet users, especially the NF ones, and how they can see ach instinct based on that. Sp= individualistic (that's me!), Sx= romantic (that's me!) So= attention whore (groooss!).

I'm a bit reluctant at taking that as an accurate way for typing.

This is a great post. The bolded is especially right on, though I don't disagree with any of it.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I relate the most to SX first and SP a strong second.

 

[BlackCat]

I thought sp and so were supposed to be the more common variants?

No wonder this place feels like such a sex pot...

Real life != this forum...

 

[BlackCat]

I thought sp and so were supposed to be the more common variants?

No wonder this place feels like such a sex pot...

Real life != this forum...

 

[skylights]

It's entirely possible that the interweb is overrepresented by those with I, N, and sx preferences.

yeah.

it's hard to sort out what you are with the bias. it took me a long time to figure out i was sx/so instead of so/sx because i don't consider myself highly "sexual". but in terms of instinctual variant i am much more sx than so.

 

[OrangeAppled]

They are the least common. It's just that a lor of people here probably mistype themselves.

Because....?

Yes. And also, many confuse being Sx with "love" "emo" or something, and there's a lot of F on this board.

I think the draw to sx is the idea of being sexy & attractive, not "romantic". Many people have a bravado about their own sexuality. Just like few people think they are of average intelligence & few think they are of average looks, few think they have average libidos. Then, they confuse sexuality with sx. Much enneagram literature notes that when an instinct is your dom type, you can also have the most problems with it. Sx-dom can have intimacy and sexual hang-up issues, just as SPs can be ascetics & SOs can be painfully shy & withdrawn.

I think Naranjo (?) sometimes calls sx the "one-to-one" instinct, which seems less likely to cause confusion with "sexiness" (but it also doesn't describe the side that is not about people, but experiences).

I think a lot of sx are so-dom.... sure, they're attractive, impressive, and have a certain kind of intensity, but they don't have the "one-to-one" factor. They draw audiences, not individuals in an intimate way (and I don't mean "romance"). Not that I think sx is oh so rare (because I challenge that notion too), but it definitely seems suspiciously over-represented.

They are often like that. We can't deny it. But that doesn't mean that a lot of people here can be of theses stackings.

I don't think those terms are the fair way to describe their "vibe". Some of the descriptions use terms like "cerebral" or "intellectual", and I think that's much more fair. In contrast, sx-dom may seem less cerebral or intellectual, which can't be denied either . Attraction is going to be more about what is appealing to individuals, and some people may prefer the so/sp or sp/so vibe to the sx one, especially if they themselves are sx last.

Though, for Sx, I think is true to say that a lot of Sx people have a strong sexual presence and attraction, even when they are ugly. It's just that a lot of people here are like "I know i'm not intense and sexual, but I'am very romantic and I really, really want a relationship, so I'am Sx" or something. That's in part why a lot of people believe they are Sx while they are not.

Strong presence, yes; attraction, no. I think this is an sx seeing sx through their sx bias . I think sx types incur STRONG REACTIONS, but that can also include REPULSION. I'm pretty sure I've seen this noted in enneagram literature too.... That makes sense, as there's a "weeding out of people", whereas SO types are more like "the more, the merrier" or they're mortified to be noticed much at all.

I'm going to reference [MENTION=7140]brainheart[/MENTION] 's analogy of the instincts to bouncing balls... the first has the highest, second the middle, and last the lowest bounce. This shows how the dominant has a greater range, with the strengths & the problematic areas being more apparent. The last shows the least range, making it less strong in a positive way, but often less problematic too.

I think a lot of sp/so and so/sp probably choose a mate quietly & settle down contentedly (which might look dull to some), whereas an sx may find things a lot more stormy in their relationships.

I think the results are biased by the currents values among internet users, especially the NF ones, and how they can see ach instinct based on that. Sp= individualistic (that's me!), Sx= romantic (that's me!) So= attention whore (groooss!).

I'm a bit reluctant at taking that as an accurate way for typing.

Mostly true, but it's not just NFs. I think most people like to imagine they are individualistic & not attention whores. I explained what I think the appeal of sx is to most...

 

[Lady_X]

i think speed definitely confuses sx with sex-yness way too much
maybe others do too but i hear him saying it more than most

i agree that sx dom people can have intimacy issues...i do...i can't explain it but i feel intimacy so much...that i have issues
i just told my bf today at lunch that i felt soul raped by someones eye contact the other day
my barriers seem thin compared to most

this way of being doesn't seem to have much to do with sex
it is just an intense intimacy...and constant awareness of that connection between yourself and others.

 

[Winds of Thor]

3 Sexual/Social

The focus of this subtype is less on material gain. The basic fear for this type is loss of intimate love. The sex/soc subtype, like the sex/self-pres, lacks trust in their intimates. Because they feel unworthy of true love, they don’t believe that anyone can love them solely for themselves. Therefore, they continuously strive to hold onto their intimates’ admiration, deluding themselves that if they are admired, they may become worthy of love. They do this through vigorous maintenance of their appearance, achievements, etc. Ageing is often especially difficult for this subtype.

This insecurity leads to an incessant need for reassurance from intimates, in the form of words of affirmation or time spent together (to the exclusion of others). This insatiable need often leads to intense jealousy, which only serves to distance others from them, thus erroneously affirming the Three's basic fear that they are unworthy of true love. While they share a lot with the sex/self-pres Three, the secondary social instinct adds an element of competition when it comes to questions of desirability. This subtype likes to be seen as the alpha male or alpha female.

When the sex/soc is healthier, they realize this competition is self-defeating. They can take comfort in the thought that another person’s success and attention do not take away their worth in any way.

 

[1487610420]

last time I tested got sx/sp

 

[Such Irony]

I think I'm this:

sp/so weakside (strong soc) - draws from so/sx to produce what is overall a lighter, friendlier, and more humor employing style within self pres (though funny through conscious effort and without much irony, unlike strongsiders who are relatively less aware of how they're perceived). can seem more sociable than many so/sp's, and better embodying of a common touch. a notable degree of social consciousness tempers their more private security seeking instinct, so not surprisingly weaksiders can seem soc first, often with a certain generous or self sacrificial quality. the self deprecator, the sidekick, the philanthropist. james dobson, dan rather, david letterman, rush limbaugh, steven spielberg, al franken, don rickles, woody allen, ray romano, michael moore, jerry brown, charles barkley. fictionals: charlie brown, piglet, mr tumnus, threepio.


Where are all the sp/so on the forum? Stand proud.

SX is overrated.

 

[Burger King]

I typed myself as so/sp. Sounds terribly dull...

Social/Self-pres

This subtype can mimic type One when it comes to social values. They can be harsh critics of the current mores. They have romantic ideals of what the world should be like; reality always falls short. Ironically, this type can be the most withdrawn of the Fours. Social anxiety combines with the Four's shame issues to make this type feel that the pressure associated with "fitting in" is just not worth it. They are also the most likely of the Fours to intellectualize their emotions and in this way resemble type Five.

The social instinct tends to give the personality a focus on being included, fitting in, or finding a way to make a valued contribution. This agenda conflicts with the Four's sense of being "different from" or "other than." The Four's need to establish a separate identity conflicts with the social instinct's drive towards inclusion. The social Four often deals with this dilemma by defining themselves as being outside the social system. By defining themselves always in terms of the system, even if it is to establish distance, this Four stays essentially tied to it. Fours with the social/self-pres stacking tend to acutely feel a sense of social shame at not quite belonging.

When this subtype is reasonably healthy, they are often gifted critics of the prevailing culture. They develop true insight into social dynamics and have an eye for the nuances and subtleties of social interactions. Many Four writers are soc/self.

 

[Zarathustra]

[MENTION=15004]Mia.[/MENTION] just found this excellent site pertaining to the instinctual subtypes -- one of the best I've ever seen:
http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enneagram/27Subtypes.htm

 

[Mia.]

http://www.enneagramwork.com/instinctual_subtypes.html

 

[1487610420]

http://www.ohmaigawdmyenneagramsiteissomuchbetterthanyours.com

 

[Lady_X]

[MENTION=15004]Mia.[/MENTION] just found this excellent site pertaining to the instinctual subtypes -- one of the best I've ever seen:
http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enneagram/27Subtypes.htm

cool i totally relate to this
Self-Preservation - early bonding and grounding as an infant - our right to exist.
Sexual - the growing awareness of self and other in the first "dyad" with our mother or primary caregiver - our right to be loved.

with the sx being the main one

edit
reading more of it now and damn...it's sorta painful to hear. :/

ha...this is true

Sevens have a fear of criticism. Sevens are working hard (remember, our Enneagram style is something we do, not who we are) to see only the possibilities and if someone starts picking and pecking (that's how it feels to a Seven), they are not just making observations, they are challenging the Seven's whole world view. Sevens will often drop the charm and flash anger, usually only briefly, when negatives are brought up, especially in the form of criticism.

 

[Lady_X]

jumping off a cliff now

 

[Zarathustra]

 

[OrangeAppled]

Hm, it's interesting how those sites above associate the e4 sp-dom with "dauntlessness". I've seen this angle before, but the other angle, the one Naranjo describes, is a lot more applicable to me. The description touches on it a little, but not as much as the reckless side....

Depression is one way of anticipating death. If I rehearse death through feeling dead, then I will be able to handle it when it really happens. If I can go to the depths and deaths of depression and recover, I'll get the hang of it so when I die... And during the process, at least I'm involved in something important, something of a life-and-death issue. And if I'm involved in this important struggle, I certainly am not just numbly going through life. After all, Thoreau was right, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation."
------
Most Self-Preservation types have a paranoid streak somewhere. That's why their concern is Self-Preservation. The self is under attack in some way. The specific way the self is under attack in the Four strategy is through dull, unimaginative, unrelenting ordinariness. One might as well be dead as stuck here in this (small town, boring relationship, monotonous job) environment. Life without emotional intensity is not really life.
....
Read Hamlet's soliloquy from the point of view of a Self-Preservation Four and it is quite enlightening. The fundamental question of a Self-Preservation is being: how to be, and more radically, whether to be or not to be.
....
If that dramatic struggle is an artistic one, they can do without everything but the barest survival necessities while they devote themselves to completing the great American novel or the finest in impressionist painting. The intensity of the struggle contributes to the greatness of the art. This is the artistic temperament. (A note: many beginners assume that every artist is a Four. Artist refers to talent and can occur in any number. The artistic temperament, so called, is frequently a Four, especially the starving artists who can often be Self-Preservation Fours locked in life-and-death-battles, being fought largely in their imaginations).

Outside of that, most of it is meh.

Just going by the brief descriptions.... sp/sx still fits the best though: "Creative Individualist - recklessness in pursuit of authenticity" & "Drama Queen or King - beating the competition through power or style". I shudder in horror at the "drama queen" tag, but the 4 envy I experience is most applicable in this way, although I'd word it differently...

When reading the full descriptions, however, the sx sounds more applicable over all, but I think sp is still correct; this angle is just not the best. I see aspects of the so type in me too... If this was the only instinctual description I had ever read, though, then I'd type myself sx/so, or maybe sx/sp, which I think is wrong for me.

None of these are great to me (from http://www.enneagramwork.com), but sp is stil the best.

SP - Point Four - Dauntlessness (the Creative Individualist)
This is the willingness to jump into new situations, to pack up and move, to get going or take risks when the preservation instinct is highlighted, or when the authentic life seems elsewhere. To other people, it may seem reckless, like throwing caution to the winds, but it can work well with an unorthodox, creative or artistic style. There is a tension here between wanting to acquire material security and feeling detached from it all.

SO - Point Four - Shame/Honor (the Critical Commentator)

Feelings of deficiency can be provoked by social situations, with envy directed toward other people's status or membership. This sub-type seeks to establish an acceptable social role, possibly as the emotional truth teller for the group. There is a need to resolve the tension between the quest for individual authenticity and social expectations.

SX - Point Four - Competitiveness (the Dramatic Person)

Competition with other people is used to overcome a feeling of inner deficiency and create motivation for a personal agenda. Other people's power or strength is taken as a personal challenge, and usually creates a strong reaction. One's own value tends to rise and fall in comparison with other people.

If any other 4s come across this... how do you separate the tendency to lean towards sx & sp & reject so simply because of 4 tendencies in general & your actual instinctual stack (not asking out of doubt over my own type; just curiosity about others)?

 

[UsurpersGonnaUsurp]

Sx/so. Describes me very well.

 

[Such Irony]

Yay! I've got the least popular stacking on the forum. I'm special!