What to work on first?

[ygolo]

There are a lot of things I would like to change, but what would be the most effective thing to get the "ball rolling?"

• low positive affectivy/high negative affectivity. There is no identifiable reason for this. It seems biological. It is often debilitating. Though not always. It has been pointed out to me that if it were completely debilitating, I would not be 1 quarter from getting an M.S. while working full-time. Exercise may help. There is also going out with friends, and otherwise doing things I enjoy.
• low-energy levels. Connected to above. Again physical exercise seems to be the way to get over this. Also finding things I enjoy again.
• low-motivation. I don't want to do anything. Let alone anything physical. I spend most of my free time sleeping. Again, I want to believe exercise will alleviate this as well. Only if I didn't really want to. I have very low-motivation to exercise. Should try and play some B-ball again. That used to be fun.
• poor-concentration. I cannot really seem to focus on individual tasks, so they linger-on till I am behind, and I need to work late to get things done. Not sure how to concentrate better. Other than to just concentrate more. Once again, I am thinking exercise. Maybe I'm stuck in a "golden hammer mode." Also, finding some way to enjoy what I am working on.
• Poor-constitution. I seem to get sick every time people at the office or my friends get sick. I held off the last one for as long as I could, but it hit me harder than anything in a while. I have gone a month now without getting sick again (though some of the old symptoms remain). Again, it seems like exercise is what I can think of to help boost immunity.
• Incredible messiness. The air in my appartment stinks from it. I haven't cleaned house in almost 3 months. Can't be good. But the mess is now overwhelming.
• Poor sleep hygene. I am sleeping all sort of odd hours, which makes working a difficult thing.
• Behind at work. I am once again behind at work. I tried catching up this weekend, but I kept falling asleep.
• Need to pick-up/resume mail. I think all my mail has been returned to sender, since I haven't picked it up in 3 weeks or so. I will need to go to the post-office and tell them I haven't moved(or died).
• Nihlism. I don't see the point of continuing on. Life seems like one chore after an other. Is that all there is? I can only think there is more (or at least I hope). I hate routine.
• Poor self-care. I still shower and brush my teeth (enough of a habit I guess). But I haven't shaved in a couple of weeks, nor cut my nails. I am couple of days away from not having ANY clean clothes. I even exhausted my special occasion, and winter clothes. Again, I know it needs to be done, but what a chore... and for what reason? Just to go on to do more chores tomorrow?

 

[marm]

That sucks!

I can empathize with some of that. I've found that its important to find something that keeps me interested in life that I can do on a daily basis... even if its just coming to a forum like this one. It doesn't solve your problems, but anything that distracts you for a while is a good thing. Now, if you can find something that inspires or excites you even slightly, then life is pretty sweet.

At least you clean you're doing the minimal requirements of life. You're holding down a job, brushing your teeth, and you do your laundry eventually. Why expect anything more from yourself?

If you stop doing these minimum activities, then you need to take it seriously and seek some kind of professional help. Otherwise, simply getting by is sometimes good enough.

 

[Domino]

Okay - what I'd tackle first? Attack your external environment. Clean up the messiness. It will extrovert you (i.e. drag you out of your malaise forcibly to engage the clutter) and will improve your overall low duty cycle on everything else. You'll have more energy to take care of yourself and to improve in other areas if there isn't mess dragging down your energy. A messy house, a dirty house will just kill my self-esteem and amplifies my body symptoms because you feel buried and dysfunctional. Start with something easy first but high-traffic, like the bathroom. A clean bathroom will make A LOT of other things feel less bad.

 

[heart]

Check out "The FLy Lady" She teaches people how to tackle big messes in steps.

 

[ygolo]

Thanks for the comments. I have unfortunately frittered away my time at the office day-dreaming, surfing the web, and otherwise just zoned out.

Since, I have noone else to support me financialy right now, I think it best to continue to try catching up at work. What I am working on currently would have taken my 23 year-old self 2 hours--and people know it. But I have worked on it 4 days (at abysmally low concentration levels) and am still only half way done. They've already reduced my responsibilities at work, and it would be bad to slip a deadline on one of the easiest assignments handed out.

 

[LucrativeSid]

What's blocking you? What feeling? What thought? What fear? If things seem pointless, there's a reason for it in your thinking somewhere. Having no motivation and being nihilistic is the effect, not the cause.