[INFP] What does an unhealthy INFP look like?

[Turtledove]

They look like this...perhaps more on the inside than the outside for many.

When they're out of control emotionally, they're like this.

 

[lost]

I'm glad and sad at the same time I've found this thread. It explains a lot. It seems I'm dating pretty unhealthy INFP. So now that I've nailed it, does anyone have suggestions how to deal with such person and stay sane or the best is to let it go? I don't know if this is allowed, I apologise in advance if so but please be kind and take a look at my thread, no answers yet. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/55452-infp-entp-relationship.html

 

[Turtledove]

However, please keep in mind that what may seem like "problems" in an INFP to an ESFP may not be problems at all. Much of the natural INFP behavior and perspective goes against the mainstream flow of society, but that doesn't make it unhealthy.

You know...if everyone thinks about it, we're all mentally unhealthy at least one or more points in our lives no matter what type you are.

 

[xenaprincess]

You know...if everyone thinks about it, we're all mentally unhealthy at least one or more points in our lives no matter what type you are.

Good point! The thing about being unhealthy too, is that you're generally more understanding of people who are going thru their phase of unhealthiness (unless you're still ashamed of it, in which case, you're probably unreasonably tough on them)

I had a tough spell after which I wanted to write an apology to every person I ever knew. Thankfully I did not follow thru with it, haha.
Seriously, probably no one remembers how desperately awful I was except me.





(I hope)

 

[unityemissions]

Haha I think that quote was written over 2-3 years ago. Would you be happier to know that I have become more jaded, critical, and usually just pretend I don't notice how others are feeling now unless something's really up? I think I was surrounded by a crap ton of INFP negativity by several INFPs plus I had some anxiety back then.

However, I still believe that someone who thrives on negativity is unhealthy.

Nope, that doesn't make me happy to hear. I'm actually pretty disgusted by the use of the words "unhealthy" and "negative"...are these subjective, or objective assessments?

I know that this will seem like an "unhealthy" philosophy, but I stick to it. If the society is fucked, it makes no sense to be "healthy" within it.

Judge me as you will.

 

[chickpea]

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

[Glycerine]

Nope, that doesn't make me happy to hear. I'm actually pretty disgusted by the use of the words "unhealthy" and "negative"...are these subjective, or objective assessments?

I know that this will seem like an "unhealthy" philosophy, but I stick to it. If the society is fucked, it makes no sense to be "healthy" within it.

Judge me as you will.

I honestly don't care to judge you because you were the one to get offended over my ancient post.
It's based on my perception on what I consider unhealthy INFPs to look like based on theorising and personal experience. I am not one to glorify things.

Besides not all INFPs are the same way. My INFP mother is exactly the opposite of that.

 

[unityemissions]

Understood, thanks for the clarification!

Enjoy your day

 

[snowflurri]

Socially withdrawn or awkward, as if wanting to express their opinions but forcefully holding them back because of deep seated insecurities. Also very self conscious and overtly concerned with others' opinions of them, and because of that, struggle to reconcile their own values and ideals with reality when others fall short of our perfectionist standards (of course they do, they're only human). They don't understand why the world is "like that" and hate it most of the time and are pretty much very unhappy, very moody and emotionally unstable, and can be huge emotional vampires.

 

[Santosha]

Like an INFP with emphasized negative qualities (even more withdrawn, melancholy, sensitive, larger disconnect between the inner and outer world) that slips into ESTJ shadow at the drop of a hat.

 

[Joehobo]

Yeah, but those who bag us seem to think we are great when they need someone to talk to.

Considering all the things people have told me over the years, I'm not convinced the rest of the world is all that healthy.

This IS gold!

Haha I think that quote was written over 2-3 years ago. Would you be happier to know that I have become more jaded, critical, and usually just pretend I don't notice how others are feeling now unless something's really up? I think I was surrounded by a crap ton of INFP negativity by several INFPs plus I had some anxiety back then.

However, I still believe that someone who thrives on negativity is unhealthy.

Oh man really? I was just about to throw in a post saying how you where such a sweetie trying to be supportive and understanding haha. Looks like the NF idealism coped some flak eh?
Is it just me or do INFP's and ENFJ's have this thing where they have to take a giant hurdle to understand eachother at some point? After seeing some of the posts here, I'm seeing this kind of trend.

 

[Cellmold]

As posted elsewhere:

 

[Glycerine]

Oh man really? I was just about to throw in a post saying how you where such a sweetie trying to be supportive and understanding haha. Looks like the NF idealism coped some flak eh?
Is it just me or do INFP's and ENFJ's have this thing where they have to take a giant hurdle to understand eachother at some point? After seeing some of the posts here, I'm seeing this kind of trend.

Hahaha, I was just explaining my post that the person was reacting to. I love my INFPs though. Lol

I was under the impression that we were understanding each other perfectly clear in the PM exchange.

 

[animenagai]

I know an INFP who just hates being wrong, but never confronts these issues through healthy means. He just insists that he's right while constantly trying to find ways to prove that you are wrong, in a seemingly less confrontational way. Allow me to explain this through an imagined example, because I can't give you real-life ones without getting into a whole lot of jargon. Let's say we're buying a female friend a present. Someone may suggest a scarf, reason being that girls in general enjoy fashion and winter's coming up. The INFP may disagree, insisting that chocolates for example are a better gift. He'll make arguments like 'well not every girl likes fashion', even if we know that the majority of our female friends do. Alternatively he'll suggest calling this other girl (who we all know do not like scarves) and ask what present she would rather get. The INFP becomes spiteful and never lets anything go. Later, he may say things like 'remember that time when I bought the better gift for so and so?'; or if we buy the scarf, 'it would have been nice to get her something sweet to go with our meal'. The infuriating thing is that he refuses to really confront on these issues. As an ENFP, it's obvious to me that he should just get these things out of his system. I would actually prefer it if we got into a heated argument. He needs some sort of catharsis. Instead, all these feelings get bogged up inside him and nothing ever changes.

 

[Ponyboy]

Are you sure your friend is INFP? Speaking solely for myself, that doesn't sound anything like me or what I know about INFP (even unhealthy). When I feel "subpar" I just give up on any argument and say "ya, whatever" so that other people will quit bugging me.

Edit: Also, yes I agree with joehobo, the line he quoted from saxman is PURE GOLD!!!!

 

[Ginkgo]

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

One theory is that Batman's "The Joker" isn't insane, but rather, a sort of super-sane developed for the needs of living in a dynamic metropolis!

 

[Joehobo]

Hahaha, I was just explaining my post that the person was reacting to. I love my INFPs though. Lol

I was under the impression that we were understanding each other perfectly clear in the PM exchange.

Yeah, I saw that post as well. Alot of over reaction from INFP's to it. I thought it was sweet.

Haha yeah well that's the thing we do! I guess I'm just talking from an "Si" thing here, that down the track the differences can become a real source of conflict.
Regardless, I still think the ENFJ's I've come across so far are amazing!

 

[Liason]

Unhealthy INFP's hold grudges. They do not forgive and forget, they let something fester and continue to grate at them until they sort of have an explosion. They will be very prone to dramaticism and probably reclusive to large crowds out of a sort of sensory overload. Note, this is not categorizing a normal INFP, this is unhealthy over all.

 

[Capricorn Moon]

I think i could be unhealthy INFP (althought i am still not sure to what type i belong,but however that is the most common result on most of tests). I don't have much social interactions, i avoid socializing and people in general, it happen that i stay in house for a days and refuse to go out... On some weird way, it all scares me... I believe people see me as unemotional because i don't show any interestest in connections with them, but i don't know how to explain i want to be there for them, just i lost ability to show anything. I am not really happy with my life and i have nothing nice to say about society in what i live, i have feeling i don't belong to this word. Sometimes i stay in bed all day, or sleep as much as i can, only not to be in reality... I refuse to wath films with happy endings...
I was always very dependable, and even i am 22, i feel guilty to buy clothes my mother doesn't like. And i know my parents are not happy with who i am... They wish i am more realistic and more productive.I have feeling i am not worthy enough or i don't have much qualities... I was nerd in high school, but i was good only in literature and in other subjects i guess i had luck or it was more work than real talent. Now i study social work, and this last year is going worse than previous. I am asking myself will i be able to help to people if i can't help myself.
And i am depressive and even was on pills.
I am single already 2 years,and only had one relation in my life, and it was long distance. I don't feel i have luck in love, or maybe i just search for what doesn0t exist. But, there is one thing more, it happen often that much older men are interested in me, and they openly show it. I don't like it, and wish i can stop it. I feel i need love and understanding, but i can't find it... i also feel i have lot of to give, but i don't know how.

 

[Kittyamazing]

I think i could be unhealthy INFP (althought i am still not sure to what type i belong,but however that is the most common result on most of tests). I don't have much social interactions, i avoid socializing and people in general, it happen that i stay in house for a days and refuse to go out... On some weird way, it all scares me... I believe people see me as unemotional because i don't show any interestest in connections with them, but i don't know how to explain i want to be there for them, just i lost ability to show anything. I am not really happy with my life and i have nothing nice to say about society in what i live, i have feeling i don't belong to this word. Sometimes i stay in bed all day, or sleep as much as i can, only not to be in reality... I refuse to wath films with happy endings...
I was always very dependable, and even i am 22, i feel guilty to buy clothes my mother doesn't like. And i know my parents are not happy with who i am... They wish i am more realistic and more productive.I have feeling i am not worthy enough or i don't have much qualities... I was nerd in high school, but i was good only in literature and in other subjects i guess i had luck or it was more work than real talent. Now i study social work, and this last year is going worse than previous. I am asking myself will i be able to help to people if i can't help myself.
And i am depressive and even was on pills.
I am single already 2 years,and only had one relation in my life, and it was long distance. I don't feel i have luck in love, or maybe i just search for what doesn0t exist. But, there is one thing more, it happen often that much older men are interested in me, and they openly show it. I don't like it, and wish i can stop it. I feel i need love and understanding, but i can't find it... i also feel i have lot of to give, but i don't know how.

Maybe you should stand up for yourself more and just remember change starts from the inside, if you want anything to change, change your attitude/thinking patterns and avoid negative influences, am sure your a lovely person. Best wishes blablabla <3