[INFP] What does an unhealthy INFP look like?

[OrangeAppled]

Has anyone else noticed that all INFPs are eerily similar?

Not anymore than other types.

 

[PeaceBaby]

Another stereotype might be the incoherent hippy who lives in a pigsty and gives out philosophical advice to teenagers.

Hey my house is quite tidy at the moment, thank you very much!

INFPs tend to be very hard on themselves, don't give themselves much credit, and are often perfectionists. Even if they feel mostly healthy, they probably see tons of room for self-improvement, and they may tend to dwell on where they lack over the positive side.

And I agree too that enneagram type would be a dramatic influence on the expression of healthy / unhealthy INFP, or any other type for that matter.

I feel pretty balanced and healthy, but I have learned enough about myself at this point to truly enhance and facilitate optimal functioning. Still, I can get out of balance, just like anyone, so I have to watch for my particular areas of overload and proceed with awareness. Caution areas for me are being too facilitating, too "nice", too accommodating and putting my own needs in "last place" for too long. I also tend to put exercise on the back burner when I am busy with other stuff, and I need to be more conscious of taking care of my physical being too.

Plus, I tend to have challenges "after" acutely stressful events, so this is a time of acceptance where I have to let my emotions have their moments. During stress I am generally a laser beam of focus, getting things done that need to get done. It's "after" where the emotions catch up, and these can be times where I feel tearful or angry or moody. But I do tend to keep this away from the outside world, so not many folks have any awareness of where I am at emotionally.

Being a 9 wing, this is likely the manifestation of "harmony at all costs."

 

[Scott N Denver]

Has anyone else noticed that all INFPs are eerily similar?

Are we??? I haven't met too many other INFP's who were vegetarian, meditate everyday, have martial arts and firearms training, hold there own with INT's in technical discussions, know how to kill people, wanted to be an army commando, have an advanced degree in physics, avoid most "art", do tai chi almost everyday, and read the history of math for fun, amongst various other activities...

 

[Orangey]

They'd likely be any of the following: insanely moody, difficult or impossible to reason with, extremely defensive & sensitive, have very poor communication & social skills, self-absorbed, cynical, live in a filthy mess of chaos, be obsessed with minor details they've blown out of proportion, passive-aggressive, have an explosive temper (maybe even violent), a major detachment from reality, seem confused & lost in life, be withdrawn, rebellious, depressed, have an inferiority complex, seem arrogant as a defense, and may isolate themselves from people. There might be substance abuse also.

Oh my, this describes my father perfectly. Every single word. He's been this way for the last couple of years. I always thought he was IN/SFJ, but this is sounding pretty convincing for INFP. I'll add that he also gets very controlling and emotionally manipulative when he's unhealthy (which he is). He drives my ISTJ mother absolutely crazy.

 

[Coeur]

Are we??? I haven't met too many other INFP's who were vegetarian, meditate everyday, have martial arts and firearms training, hold there own with INT's in technical discussions, know how to kill people, wanted to be an army commando, have an advanced degree in physics, avoid most "art", do tai chi almost everyday, and read the history of math for fun, amongst various other activities...

The history of math? *would rather break every bone in her body, one by one*

Of course, everybody is different. There just seems to be a pattern for INFPs. A tragic past of some kind that leads to constant daydreaming. That sort of thing.

 

[heart]

Neurotically stuck in the Fi-Si loop. They put up walls between themselves and the outside world. Totally withdrawn, won't make social overtures, distrust people who make social overtures to them, thinking either the other person is just "being nice" or that they have an ulterior motive to control or use the INFP (because in their logic why else would someone want to bother with someone as inferior as they?).

Very self effacing, wanting to fade into the background. Wanting love and connection very badly but not feeling secure enough within themselves and/or having enough faith in themselves to risk normal rejection to attain it. Not wanting to "burden" others with their *miserable* company. A neurotic fear of trespassing on others. Magical beliefs, because without being able to use Ne, imagination to put feelers out into the world, they just feel there is no way to navigate such a scary place and things seem aribitrary and unfair in life. Repetitive negative thoughts. No energy to change their own situations or environment, a passive victim to the waves that others make. Unable to give voice to their own righteous anger or to stand up for themselves.

Picture CatWoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) in "Batman Returns" before she turned into a cat woman.


Also this might help to get a proper grasp on it:
Tertiary Si (INxP):

 

[Skyward]

Totally withdrawn, won't make social overtures, distrust people who make social overtures to them, thinking either the other person is just "being nice" or that they have an ulterior motive to control or use the INFP (because in their logic why else would someone want to bother with someone as inferior as they?).

Very self effacing, wanting to fade into the background. Wanting love and connection very badly but not feeling secure enough within themselves and/or having enough faith in themselves to risk normal rejection to attain it. Not wanting to "burden" others with their *miserable* company. A neurotic fear of trespassing on others.

Picture CatWoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) in "Batman Returns" before she turned into a cat woman.

Also this might help to get a proper grasp on it:
Tertiary Si (INxP):

This post is full of win.

I do find INFPs to be eerily similar in their vibes, but that's what I get from most P types who are more like magnets than shovels (Js). Find the magnet you find the P. And depending on what the J shovels all the time, who knows what it looks like.

Besides, developed INFPs are awesome. So who cares if they're similar?

 

[heart]

Aside from the neurotic Fi-Si loop, there's also corrupted judgement where Fi holds the self/Ego as the highest object in life, according to Jung. Rousseau's Confessions in my opinion is a good example of this occuring in a ISFP:

Carl Jung. "Psychological Types" Book. CHAPTER X (General Description Of The Types). The Introverted type.

But, wherever the unconscious subject is identified with the ego, the mysterious power of the intensive feeling is also transformed into banal and arrogant ambition, vanity, and [p. 495] petty tyranny. This produces a type of woman most regrettably distinguished by her unscrupulous ambition and mischievous cruelty. But this change in the picture leads also to neurosis.

So long as the ego feels itself housed, as it were, beneath the heights of the unconscious subject, and feeling reveals something higher and mightier than the ego, the type is normal. The unconscious thinking is certainly archaic, yet its reductions may prove extremely helpful in compensating the occasional inclinations to exalt the ego into the subject. But, whenever this does take place by dint of complete suppression of the unconscious reductive thinking-products, the unconscious thinking goes over into opposition and becomes projected into objects. Whereupon the now egocentric subject comes to feel the power and importance of the depreciated object. Consciousness begins to feel 'what others think'.

Naturally, others are thinking, all sorts of baseness, scheming evil, and contriving all sorts of plots, secret intrigues, etc. To prevent this, the subject must also begin to carry out preventive intrigues, to suspect and sound others, to make subtle combinations. Assailed by rumours, he must make convulsive efforts to convert, if possible, a threatened inferiority into a superiority.

Innumerable secret rivalries develop, and in these embittered struggles not only will no base or evil means be disdained, but even virtues will be misused and tampered with in order to play the trump card. Such a development must lead to exhaustion. The form of neurosis is neurasthenic rather than hysterical; in the case of women we often find severe collateral physical states, as for instance anæmia and its sequelæ...

 

[Udog]

Plus, I tend to have challenges "after" acutely stressful events, so this is a time of acceptance where I have to let my emotions have their moments. During stress I am generally a laser beam of focus, getting things done that need to get done. It's "after" where the emotions catch up, and these can be times where I feel tearful or angry or moody. But I do tend to keep this away from the outside world, so not many folks have any awareness of where I am at emotionally.

Oh, wow. Yup, this is me right now. I played hero for a year and a half until my reserves crashed. Then the emotions caught up. I've overcome the worse of the anger and regret (heh, never cried, INFPm for ya), and am working towards being more well adjusted, balanced, and pursuing my own needs.

I agree with OrangeAppled and heart's descriptions as well. The Fi-Si loop and tertiary relief were revelatory for me when heart first introduced me to them.

 

[jenocyde]

I can't say a sweeping statement other than it appears INFPs can be very bitter and resentful. Like an Eeyore complex, when unhealthy.

But then the healthy ones show such amazing strength and fortitude.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Stereotypical INFP is unhealthy INFP.

 

[iwakar]

Well, my INFP boyfriend...

... INFP's who were vegetarian,

^Will not attempt this given his problematic diabetes.

meditate everyday,

^Has considered this on the input of his (INTJ?) father.

have martial arts

^Has this on account of his father.

and firearms training,

^Plans to do this with his father.

hold there own with INT's in technical discussions

^He is very tech. savvy and manages just fine with his father and his peers.

know how to kill people

^Has learned various things from his father, but has no desire to pursue them.

... wanted to be an army commando, have an advanced degree in physics, avoid most "art", do tai chi almost everyday, and read the history of math for fun

^No to the rest.

 

[Udog]

Stereotypical INFP is unhealthy INFP.

Based on my interactions here, I agree. I constantly have to tell people here "You can be honest with me, I won't blow up at you and if you go too far I'll let you know."

Not that I consider myself a healthy INFP, truthfully. But I'm not fully unhealthy, either.

 

[metaphours]

bollocks

 

[Laurie]

I can't say a sweeping statement other than it appears INFPs can be very bitter and resentful. Like an Eeyore complex, when unhealthy.

But then the healthy ones show such amazing strength and fortitude.

I think even healthy ones can get caught up in Eeyore complex.

 

[Udog]

I think even healthy ones can get caught up in Eeyore complex.

It's how long we stay in it that differentiates us.

 

[Scott N Denver]

So I was walking around our ritzy mall today [cherry creek, I refer to it as "our little slice of LA"], was people watching, and an answer to this thread came to me:

"The only thing that matters is me and my emotions!"

I think that would be a good catchphrase for one type of unhealthy INFP

 

[Wiley45]

^ I like that and find it an accurate description of an unhealthy INFP.

 

[runvardh]

I haven't met too many other INFP's who were vegetarian...

I drool too much when I see wide set eyes on furry things. My stomach growls too much as well...

meditate everyday

I end up falling a sleep or in some kind of haze similar to being high.

have martial arts

working on it

and firearms training

Army Cadets, 6 years, the cops tried to recruit me

hold there own with INT's in technical discussions

When I'm interested

know how to kill people

Used to design torture chambers in grade 6. I'd like to forget what I know, then someone pisses me off and I'm tempted to think of it again.

wanted to be an army commando

I'm still on the fence about signing up, though they were quite happy about my interest last time I talked to them.

have an advanced degree in physics

Na, had I followed my plan I'd be an aerospace engineer though.

avoid most "art"

na, music is about the only semblance of a love life I truly have.

do tai chi almost everyday

no

and read the history of math for fun, amongst various other activities...

That and the construction of various explosives by the time I was 11.

 

[Tallulah]

I can't say a sweeping statement other than it appears INFPs can be very bitter and resentful. Like an Eeyore complex, when unhealthy.

But then the healthy ones show such amazing strength and fortitude.

This sounds right. I think the unhealthy ones kind of have a blind spot to the bitter vibe they're putting out, and they assume that the world itself is the problem. "I'm a really great guy, but apparently girls don't want a nice guy" kinda thing.

There are some really great INFPs around, of course, but that wasn't the idea of the OP, so I'll just leave it at that.