[INFP] What are some good ways to cheer INFPs up?

[Glycerine]

Most of the INFPs I know are feeling down/depressed.

 

[Laurie]

I just had a conversation about this yesterday.

 

[nanook]

Most of the INFPs I know are feeling down/depressed

it's what we are good at.
show us the most horrible drama movie.
after breakdown, enlightenment.

don't do this with natural dichotomy judgers (i.e introverted feeling types. show them a disney movie)

 

[metaphours]

Show us that you really care about us and want to cheer us up. Make sure you call them/open up conversation with them so they know that you want to talk with them.

 

[Amargith]

Make them reexperience some of the meaningful moments from your past with them. Personalized gift, repeat of an epic excursion, even just talking about something you guys shared that was awesome

 

[nanook]

I just had a conversation about this yesterday.

the best thing ENFp can do for natural introverted dichotomy perceivers (SiFe or NiFe) is to immerse us in your will-power based optimism. this can stop our Fe from oppressing our unconscious Fi. Ni tends to believe we must follow the vision and can't do anything unless the vision tells us to. especially nothing that would change the world of Fe (disappoint someone or destroy any illusion). our "depression" is most often a desperation (fragmentation) of vision. we don't dare to go with tiny fragments, let alone to go with emotions (Fi) while we lack vision (Ni). enfp believe that we (human beings) have a right to be for our own-sake (for Fi sake, and against social resistance), and that the cosmos supports this right. also enfp are confident, that tiny fragments of vision (Ne) are all the guidance you need. Ni knows, that enfp can't be entirely wrong, after all they live like that and get by. surely the cosmos supports that. sometimes. so just the presence of ENFp can create a room that frees our Fi from Fe. so we can make ONE further decision. the result of that decision will hopefully inspire Ni, so we trust in our vision again.

ENFj can't just do the same thing. your messages of optimism sounds like "be more stupid than you are, just ignore your first function, just smile for the sake of it". sounds like tom cruise. this is welcomed by some Fi people. not so much by the Ni person. the Ni person would insist: "but i need vision! no shallow feel good crap" not sure if enfj can do anything for introverted dichotomy perceivers (Fe). honestly i think we (NiFe) are in the position to lift up the enfj, by emphasizing their genuine vision and distracting them from relational/reactive paranoia and similar social roles.

 

[OrangeAppled]

the best thing ENFp can do for natural introverted dichotomy perceives (SiFe or NiFe) is to immerse us in your will-power based optimism. this can stop our Fe from oppressing our unconscious Fi. Ni tends to believe we must follow the vision and can't do anything unless the vision tells us to. especially nothing that would change the world of Fe (disappoint someone or destroy any illusion). our "depression" is most often a desperation (fragmentation) of vision. we don't dare to go with tiny fragments, let alone to go with emotions (Fi) while we lack vision (Ni). enfp believe that we (human beings) have a right to be for our own-sake (for Fi sake, and against social resistance), and that the cosmos supports this right. also enfp are confident, that tiny fragments of vision (Ne) are all the guidance you need. Ni knows, that enfp can't be entirely wrong, after all they live like that and get by. surely the cosmos supports that. sometimes. so just the presence of ENFp can create a room that frees our Fi from Fe. so we can make ONE further decision. the result of that decision will hopefully inspire Ni, so we trust in our vision again.

ENFj can't just do the same thing. your messages of optimism sounds like "be more stupid than you are, just ignore your first function, just smile for the sake of it". sounds like tom cruise. this is welcomed by some Fi people. not so much by the Ni person. the Ni person would insist: "but i need vision! no shallow feel good crap" not sure if enfj can do anything for introverted dichotomy perceives (Fe). honestly i think we (NiFe) are in the position to lift up the enfj, by emphasizing their genuine vision and distracting them from relational/reactive paranoia and similar social roles.

Is this socionics? MBTI INFPs are Fi-dom, and most would balk at the idea of smiling for the sake of it.

 

[nanook]

you don't have to share my opinion, but since i am convinced that Ni people are dichotomy perceivers (MBTI INFP) until they learn that they are Ni and that they are supposed to be INFJ and fake their tests to become INFJ, because mbti function order says so... i will assume that most of those who are considered to be infp by their friends, most of which have not even been tested, are Ni or Si people. in other words: advice given in this thread will most likely be applied to NiFe and SiFe people.

Fi people (INFj) can be fairly stubborn about being in a bad mood, however they like to be cuddled and cheered up by ExFJ (and not just anyone), if they (INFj) look up to them (ExFj) in terms of self confidence. (being cuddled by ExFj involves the message "smile for no reason, other than that you are being cuddled"). actually anyone could like that, but not anyone would be distracted from his sorrows. if sorrows are purely emotional they can be fixed (temporarily) by unsubstantial emotional influence. Fi "depression" is much more likely purely emotional, compared to "depression" of Ni people, which is more likely substantial desperation about how to integrate with or get along with this insane world. it's really an open-ended question.

 

[OrangeAppled]

you don't have to share my opinion, but since i am convinced that Ni people are dichotomy perceivers (MBTI INFP) until they learn that they are Ni and that they are supposed to be INFJ and fake their tests to become INFJ, because mbti function order says so... i will assume that most of the real life infp, most of which have not even been tested, are Ni or Si people.

Fi people can be fairly stubborn about being in a bad mood, however they like to be cuddled and cheered up by ENFJ (and not just anyone), if they look up to them in terms of self confidence. (being cuddled by ENFj involves the message "smile for no reason, other than that you are being cuddled")

Well, I am MBTI INFP (Fi-dom) and test INFp in socionics (Ni-dom). Everyone insists the two systems are totally different, so I don't feel the need to reconcile them.

In any case, an MBTI ENFJs cuddles and kind words would certainly make me smile (let's also throw a glass of wine in there; otherwise, give me a tragic movie or melancholy song to cry to), but only in the moment. In the bigger view, to cheer me up, I need a real, long-term solution. I will probably come to that solution on my own, so the emotional support is all that is needed. Oh, and I hate being patronized, so people trying to cheer me up in a way that makes light of my feelings really angers me.

 

[nanook]

well you fit exactly my description of how NiFe people are, so i am tempted to take you for a socioncis INFp (NiFe). of course you would test INFP in mbti, if you are INFp (NiFe), because the dichotomies are the same, in almost all tests.

>Everyone insists the two systems are totally different
not really everyone

 

[cafe]

I consider the idea of cheering someone up insulting and invalidating. I am willing to be a sounding board, and if wanted, a distraction, but actively trying to change someone's mood . . . meh.

I'm interested to hear what others think about the concept, though.

 

[Liminality]

I personally find crass humour to be strangely helpful...

Other than that...be positive in a way that's sort of gently playful, and maybe be physicaly attentive depending on the person.

 

[Glycerine]

I consider the idea of cheering someone up insulting and invalidating. I am willing to be a sounding board, and if wanted, a distraction, but actively trying to change someone's mood . . . meh.

I'm interested to hear what others think about the concept, though.

Good point. I try to understand what the person is feeling but at the same time try to be funny/ playful to help them feel better.

 

[The Outsider]

of course you would test INFP in mbti, if you are INFp (NiFe), because the dichotomies are the same, in almost all tests.

The dichotomies are defined differently...

I am a broken record.

 

[Oaky]

How to cheer up an INFP:

- tell them that they are annoying and boring to further deepen their sadness
- those lines would be stuck in their heads for quite a while so just wait for a bit
- after some time where they can't help but feel like they are a burden to you tell them they are one of the most entertaining and fun people you hang out with in a serious, I'm not messing around way. Make sure they think you are telling the truth.
- this will remove some of their sadness from before along with the burden and they will feel happy

 

[OrangeAppled]

How to cheer up an INFP:

- tell them that they are annoying and boring to further deepen their sadness
- those lines would be stuck in their heads for quite a while so just wait for a bit
- after some time where they can't help but feel like they are a burden to you tell them they are one of the most entertaining and fun people you hang out with in a serious, I'm not messing around way. Make sure they think you are telling the truth.
- this will remove some of their sadness from before along with the burden and they will feel happy

The door would be smacking you in the behind before you ever make it to step 3.

 

[Oaky]

The door would be smacking you in the behind before you ever make it to step 3.

Ah yes, the high chance of failure is perhaps the only drawback. I'd suggest someone do it with subtlety.

 

[rainoneventide]

How to cheer up an INFP:

- tell them that they are annoying and boring to further deepen their sadness
- those lines would be stuck in their heads for quite a while so just wait for a bit
- after some time where they can't help but feel like they are a burden to you tell them they are one of the most entertaining and fun people you hang out with in a serious, I'm not messing around way. Make sure they think you are telling the truth.
- this will remove some of their sadness from before along with the burden and they will feel happy

Why oh why...

 

[SerengetiBetty]

I've long since learned to not try and directly cheer up my good INFP friend with the antics when she's feeling down. Instead, I'll help turn her 1 person pity party into a full scale dance club extravaganza with pizza, her favorite dvds, wine and overindulgent makeup - she's a professional makeup artist and I am not,needless to say my makeup for her is tons sillier than hers on me.

 

[Biaxident]

How to cheer up an INFP:

- tell them that they are annoying and boring to further deepen their sadness
- those lines would be stuck in their heads for quite a while so just wait for a bit
- after some time where they can't help but feel like they are a burden to you tell them they are one of the most entertaining and fun people you hang out with in a serious, I'm not messing around way. Make sure they think you are telling the truth.
- this will remove some of their sadness from before along with the burden and they will feel happy

Someone would get a punch in the skull. To rattle their brain into working.

P.S. Sometimes violence is the answer.