Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts variant stackings

[Lady_X]

so..i've decided it's all very confusing because there just isn't enough consistent information available. yesterday i read so many different descriptions that i went from thinking i was sp/sx to perhaps so first...or sx first again depending on what site i was on. it's makin me a bit nutty...i even took some test that said i was 2w1 so wth or 7w6 so but then something else will say sx first by a whole lot and the others are very close...so...what the bloody hell!?

is there anyone that can give me some celebrity enfp people with different stackings so that i may make some comparisons....also...it's confusing because if i am 7w6 i think that 6 wing makes so many things very contradictory...like i can be very warm and friendly or i can be withdrawn and distant...confident or insecure..so it will vary so much depending on mood...it seems it really shouldn't.

 

[rav3n]

What appears to be consistent with sx first people is the desire to need strong and near immediate connections with romantic partners. It's almost like big bang or nothing.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah...hmm...i still don't know. forever i thought i was sx/so and maybe i am but then i read some other stacking descriptions i identified with and i just don't know...

 

[VagrantFarce]

yeah...hmm...i still don't know. forever i thought i was sx/so and maybe i am but then i read some other stacking descriptions i identified with and i just don't know...

Ignore all the type specific descriptions, which of these do you identify with?

Survival Instinct (sp)
Your focus is placed on comfort, health and survival (or the lack thereof).

• Am I comfortable?
• What is my environment like?
• How healthy am I?

Herding Instinct (so)
Your focus is placed on group relations (or the lack thereof).

• Do I fit in with others?
• What groups do I belong to, if any?
• What am I contributing to the group, if anything?

Mating Instinct (sx)
Your focus is placed on 1-to-1 relationships (or the lack thereof).

• Am I desirable?
• Is the connection we have intense enough?
• Do you complete me?

 

[Lady_X]

thanks...i'd have to pick sx first from that but it still seems a bit much...i'm not quite that intense about it...and reading other descriptions...there's more stuff in each i relate to. ughh...i just don't know

 

[INTPness]

.....i'd have to pick sx first from that.....

Hi there.

 

[INTPness]

In all seriousness, the way I see it, it's something like this (short versions):

sx - desire for closeness, intimacy (can certainly be platonic), interested in what makes people tick, often seen as very intense
sp - sort of a "lone wolf", march to the beat of your own drum, rebellious streak, don't try to tell me what to do or get too much in my personal space
so - group dynamics, more people-oriented

 

[Lady_X]

they just feel like 3 different moods... :/

 

[skylights]

easiest for me to isolate is sp. have a really hard time telling the difference between so and sx.

 

[Lady_X]

i just am really trying to imagine how i behave in group settings...and sometimes i'm a loan wolf...doing my own thing and completely unconcerned with what everyone else is doing...other times...i'm like...oooh...so many people here yay...and seem to gravitate to the people i intuitively find the most interesting and love getting to know them...and sometimes i'm just in the mix...being all easy going and enjoying peoples company...

i'm really confused...i don't think i'm intense...or overly concerned with self..or comfort and i don't really think i give a damn rather i fit into "society" or am accepted by peers....BLAH!!

 

[INTPness]

If I'm in a group, I'm usually wishing I could go hang out with just one of those people (sx). I'm wishing I could hang out with just that one person - just the 2 of us. It's more intimate, it's more intense, it's easier to focus in on them and really get to know them for who they are, etc. Even guy friends, I'd rather hang out with my ISTJ buddy and catch up with what has been going on in his life over the last few months - maybe over a football game - than to see him in a group. If I see him in a group, I can't really talk to him and find out what's been going on.

I can hang out in a group and be laid back and just go with the flow and then go home. But, it's just not the same. It feels kind of "empty" or "pointless" when I go home at the end of the night. Sounds cheesy, but I'd rather take a walk with someone or just do something fun with 1 person, or just "talk" than to go to dinner with 5 people. It gets too chaotic, too much going on, too many different conversations going on. If it's just me and another person, we have each other's undivided attention and we can really have an interesting time - whether that be laughing our butts off, talking about things we wouldn't share with a bigger group, or whatever. I can do either one, but I have a preference for the 1-on-1.

Another example to illustrate is my grandfather was single for years. We did a lot of things together - we were very close and I enjoyed hanging out with him. Then he married and it was never really the same again. I mean, I'm OK with it - I'm glad he found someone - he's much happier in life. But, if I'm talking to him about something that I want "his input" on, I always have to get 2 answers from 2 people now. I sometimes just want his opinion and nothing else. Or, just to hang out with him.

During holidays, I like to spend time with individual family members that I haven't seen in a while. 1-on-1 with each of them for at least 5 minutes to see what's been happening. To me, that's much more meaningful and fulfilling than 13 people having 7 different conversations about 5 different topics. That makes it feel "fragmented" - I can't really find out about "you" and how "you are doing" if I'm listening to 13 different people.

 

[VagrantFarce]

i just am really trying to imagine how i behave in group settings...and sometimes i'm a loan wolf...doing my own thing and completely unconcerned with what everyone else is doing...other times...i'm like...oooh...so many people here yay...and seem to gravitate to the people i intuitively find the most interesting and love getting to know them...and sometimes i'm just in the mix...being all easy going and enjoying peoples company...

i'm really confused...i don't think i'm intense...or overly concerned with self..or comfort and i don't really think i give a damn rather i fit into "society" or am accepted by peers....BLAH!!

well then don't choose one

[edit] choosing an instinctual subtype is more about identifying an overinflated need - an ego fixation.

Social types tend to be more preoccupied with how they relate to the group
Sexual types tend to be more preoccupied with intimacy and desirability
Self-pres types tend to be more preoccupied with comfort and health

I'm sure you can see yourself in all three, the trick is to watch yourself in everyday life and see which one sticks out more.

 

[Lady_X]

okay cool...that's helpful. i'm not that way...i'm more butterflyish i think. i like groups...i like to have lil one on one chats with people in the group but i don't prefer to be alone with them...so...would this rule out sx first? even tho in relationships i definitely want to merge with them...i yearn for a soul type connection..

 

[skylights]

i like being 1-on-1 with people i really like. i don't like group interactions as much in that case. or i like to be part of a couple within a group. my favorite scenario is being 1-on-1 within a group, like going to a party with a boyfriend or being in a group with a best friend. i do generally love group interaction but the "crowd" i "play to" is my preferred one person.

on the other hand i like group interactions better when i don't like the people as much. then can choose to interact more with the people i like a lot and i can get small doses of the people i like well enough to call friends but who tend to annoy me sometimes.



i've tended to think of myself as sx-so, but i don't think i'm particularly "intense" under most circumstances.

and i really understand what you mean lady x, they definitely seem like "moods" to me, too.

 

[Lady_X]

i like being 1-on-1 with people i really like. i don't like group interactions as much in that case. or i like to be part of a couple within a group. my favorite scenario is being 1-on-1 within a group, like going to a party with a boyfriend or being in a group with a best friend. i do generally love group interaction but the "crowd" i "play to" is my preferred one person.

on the other hand i like group interactions better when i don't like the people as much. then can choose to interact more with the people i like a lot and i can get small doses of the people i like well enough to call friends but who tend to annoy me sometimes.



i've tended to think of myself as sx-so, but i don't think i'm particularly "intense" under most circumstances.

and i really understand what you mean lady x, they definitely seem like "moods" to me, too.

yes yes me too...i like to be in groups with one person i'm really close to yeah...and will be lone wolf if i don't relate in any real way to anyone in the room and will be just pretty mild if i only mildly relate...i get intense like...when i'm around people i think are awesome.

 

[onemoretime]

What are the sorts of things that genuinely bother you, to the point that you will be preoccupied with them for a time? What are the things that make you ask "am I doin' it wrong?"

 

[Lady_X]

socially? or just in general?

and...regarding what intpness said...would an introverted sx dom describe that social dynamic differently than an extraverted sx dom? preferring one on one vs groups n such?

 

[onemoretime]

socially? or just in general?

and...regarding what intpness said...would an introverted sx dom describe that social dynamic differently than an extraverted sx dom? preferring one on one vs groups n such?

In general.

Edit:
Another way you could look at it is what you are "take it or leave it" about. What you're most ambivalent about represents what you need the least. You have to be careful looking at it, though -

I'm so/sx. However, if you ask me if I want a lot of money, I'd say yes, but that's not because I like having it. It's because of why I want it - so I have free time to do fun things with my friends without worrying about the cost, and so I can do the wonderful things that I imagine for the one that I love.

These sort of pseudo-instincts are common:

sx: wanting to be intimate with someone so they take care of you materially, and so your social status improves through association with that person

so: wanting a position of good social standing so you have something to fall back upon in bad times, and so you can find that person you're desperately looking for

Edit 2:
Regarding what INTPness said,

he described the introverted version of this well, when going home alone at the end of the night without fulfillment is an unhappy occurrence, and losing a one-on-one connection is a continuing sorrow, but not one to be brought up in person.

An extravert may describe it differently. Instead of being upset about the lack of fulfillment, the extravert may despair at the idea of having to go home to an empty house, or one where you're not close with the person you live with.

Furthermore, the loss of a close relationship wouldn't sting because having to ask multiple people for an answer to a question is onerous. Instead, an extravert would long for that person's company when alone.

As far as I can tell.

 

[Lady_X]

okay...god...i have no idea. i'll try to read more descriptions. thanks so much!

 

[INTPness]

sx: wanting to be intimate with someone so they take care of you materially, and so your social status improves through association with that person

I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Just curious. I'm sx and have no desire for anyone to take care of me or to improve my social status through associations. Pretty much no desire for those things whatsoever. I just simply enjoy getting to know people on an individual basis and being very understated about it in the process.