Unforgivable Sins

[Mole]

Yeah, well just watch out for that Victor dude. Last month he was peeling me grapes. Now he's moved on.

Tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat, he did.

And what a beautiful heart it is.

For everything there is a season, turn turn turn - and last season it was was grapes.

And now the cherries are coming into their full ripeness.

Shall we dangle two cherries round each of your sweet ears? Shall we give you cherry earrings?

Or would you prefer I feed you one cherry at a time, making you beg for the very last one?

I love grapes and I love cherries, but I love mon chou the best.

 

[cherchair]

Nothing.
The forgiveness is in the forgiver, not in the deed forgiven.

Agree.

 

[Anja]

I love grapes and I love cherries, but I love mon chou the best.

 

[creativeRhino]

Wow, Girl! Three years. You are doing just fine in my book. Edit: Oopsie. I have no clue of your sex. That was pretty sexist of me. Usually I've noticed that women find it easier to forgive than men. My bad.

I just dropped a four decades old resentment this last winter. And it truly did take me that long to finally be willing to let go of that peace destroying sucker!

I just feel sodamgood!

Anja - yep female here. Your later post mentioned what you came to forgive regarding harm to your child? If so, I can relate. When my husband was practically helpless (after being an uber-omni/nicient/potent independent etc ENTJ all his life) I became very very protective in a way I've never felt before. When we know how much something harmed somebody we care about I think it is harder for us to forgive than for the person who was "wronged" to do so. Just my observation over the years.

Yet the relief is so strong when you can forgive isn't it? I kept reading about that but resisted and resisted. I really wanted to nurse my grievance and it really became heavy. Forgiveness frees you but you can't make yourself forgive, what you need to do is stop being unforgiving (the "holding"/nursing analogy is good that way - just "drop" it).

 

[Anja]

Such a truism for me, Rhino.

When it came to my kids I was such a mama bear. I really think it took time and them growing into adults who are able to take care of themselves pretty well for me to finally be able to let go of what happens to them.

I imagine I'll go through the whole process again if something should happen to my husband. Hopefully I'll have learned how to do it differently!