As a child i never really understood why my mum acted the way she did. She like me was mentally ill with schizoaffective disorder (Bi-polar and schizophrenia). I never understood why she was so violent, so brave or why she had so much faith in me. Some of the things she would say were extreme. The best way to explain it was she had a big your not my Son thing going on. I have to admit it would embarrass me a little. As a adult i can never fully understand her struggle but respect her more. For example she was only rarely in the psychiatric hospital even though she had to deal with my Dad who was a very horrible, nasty individual. I haven't seen her since i was a child but i have memories and my love for her has grown and respect as i have grown. I will never fully be able to understand what she went through etc but i think i understand a little. It is impossible virtually i believe to understand what someone with a mental illness is going through we can just gain vague glimpses and insights into their psyche.