[Traditional Enneagram] Type 1 and Type 3 ~ I wanna hear from you

[midnight_flower]

Hello 3 and 1 friends over here. I'm 5 but, as my curious nature (haha), I rarely any 3 or 1 posted here and I wanna learn more about you guys! If anyone's free and wanna share can you share anything or answer below questions? (as your wish, you can skip some if you don't feel like you want to)

1. Can you share some of challenges in life? about work? relationship? or family?
2. How did you succeed or fail to overcome those?
3. What's your ideal partner type? physically, mentally, professionally?
4. How did you realize you're 3 or 1? any specific situation?
5. What kind of people you get into conflict with the most?
6. What's your hobby? or interest?
7. Anything else you wanna share

Really hope to learn more about you guys

 

[Maou]

1. Can you share some of challenges in life? about work? relationship? or family?

I have to get everyone together at work to get shit done, by being a bit bossy about it and delegating tasks. I have a very specific way of doing things, and if they do it my way, there won't be any problems. Some people (Usually ISTPs) love how I do things and we work well together. Then you got the SF's who are either really lazy or really helpful in all the bad ways. These are seriously the only types I have ever worked with in my job.

The problem in relationships, is I do impose really high standards that would come off as "nagging" to many partners. Or they just start ignoring me, and I do it anyways. Which just makes me angry at them over time. I usually keep my perfectionism to myself, around other people outside of my relationship and work. As it is their house, their rules. Unless their house is filthy, then I will advise them on how to maintain it. Which they hate lol.

2. How did you succeed or fail to overcome those?

I am usually very persuasive, but its taken me years not to let it get to me. So I have learned to just let things go when it isn't working out. I sometimes just correct errors myself, or force myself to emotionally disengage from it being sloppy. Othertimes, people just get used to my system and everything runs very smoothly.

3. What's your ideal partner type? physically, mentally, professionally?

Probably an INTJ or INFJ. Physically, someone who can take care of themselves. Someone who is highly self reliant, reliable, and trustworthy. Knows how to handle finances. They have a consistent job.

4. How did you realize you're 3 or 1? any specific situation?

I have fluctuated between 5, 4, and 1 quite a bit, but I realized a lot of the motivations for my actions are very 1 like. I just integrate and disintegrate a lot (and am a lot more healthy than most 1s). I have also really liked the idea of being a 7, and had a lot of 4 traits. I think my 1 isn't that obvious, as I am also an sp. So I come off as more 5-ish and a lot of my 1 traits are not that observable online.

5. What kind of people you get into conflict with the most?

Generally feeling types, as I tend to disregard social conventions for a higher truth. Since I am an INTP, I am far less idealistic than other 1 types. I focus more on Ti-Si functions, and use Ne to see where things can go wrong as I perfect systems. Since I see things from a big picture perspective, feelings types get alienated that I don't look at the finer details like the value of being kind, or making everyone feel involved.

6. What's your hobby? or interest?

Writing, music, and anime, to be honest. Anime is one of the only things I like, as I don't have a lot of interests. (I am pretty weird, and I get overstimulated easy)

7. Anything else you wanna share

 

[Indigo Rodent]

1. I'm so intolerant at this point that I don't see myself working anywhere outside my home (that's besides being disabled).
2. No, I'm becoming more intolerant as I grow and I want it to keep it that way.
3. Athletic built, tall, preferably able of overpowering me physically. Dominating, with sadistic streak but on reasonable levels, intelligent, protective, caring, financially successful, generous. Also:
No alcohol and similar mind-altering drugs.
No body mods, including no earrings.
No fake up and shaving.
No religion.
Must be antinatalist.

It's over for standardscels XDDD .

4. Used to be mistyped as 4 and then I have read read about childhood background and core motivations and I realised that I'm a 1, not 4. I had hard time growing up due to inadequate authority figures - my father was a traitor and cheated on me and then was dodging child support, so I grew up in poverty, I was betrayed again by the traitors from family court that failed to assign me good child support then I had experiences with bullying where there was no adequate help from teachers, I saw plenty of evil and injustice and realised that I'm surrounded by the corrupt and the unclean.
Also, I have pretty high standards - for example when playing computer games (mainly cRPGs and strategic and tactical games.), they'd usually feel inadequate and was thinking how better they could be - usually by being more realistic. I'm very selective about media I consume.
I quickly notice flaws in things around me.
Also, there is lots of stuff that I don't do because it's unclean and it often affects major decisions in my life - for example I can't imagine living in a dorm due to all the possible impositions of impurity. I don't drink alcohol and don't smoke - I stopped going to school trips in high school because almost everyone gets drunk during them.
etc. etc. etc.
Most of time I feel miserable and dissatisfied with life. Also, very lonely. It resulted in feeling of being left out of life that made me think I may be a 4. But I lack self-hatred and desire to be unique. It's the opposite I want people to be like me.

5, Ableist social Darwinists and aggressive degenerates.

6. Psychology, military history, wargaming, modding computer games, drawing.

 

[Earl Grey]

To preface, I have a 3 fix (no 1, core or fix), but I'm not 3 core, and I'm sp-first- so the manifestation will not be like the 'typical 3'.

1. Can you share some of challenges in life? about work? relationship? or family?
I'm not sure how much of this is tied to specifically 3 (being a double competency combo probably does something about it) but I generally have trouble with more 'intimate' relationships or even friendships. I tend to be quite distant and impersonal, and naturally so. Honestly, I've preferred work relationships. Everything is so clear. There are expectations and deadlines. Personal relationships feel like a blurry, unclear mess with no definite finish line. It feels like being thrust into a realm of fog. I think the reason I even prefer more professional relationships is just because the 3-ness itself helps- the 3 generally naturally looks outwards for cues on what to do and how to perform, which are very good traits in the workplace- it is adaptive, pragmatic, and driven, it delivers exactly what is needed. Not so much in personal relationships. People around me seem to have the opposite issue, and it can feel quite alienating. It's like I was wired or programmed top to bottom instead of bottom to top.

2. How did you succeed or fail to overcome those?
I have pretty much washed my hands of trying to figure out impersonal relationships. I do not demean them, but it feels like trying to learn a very difficult language, and I cannot even justify the effort in doing so. It's like trying to write using the non-dominant hand- why? No need.

3. What's your ideal partner type? physically, mentally, professionally?
I tend to gravitate towards somewhat complementary people- in a way. I don't mean similar. It doesn't matter how different we are. Some of my close friends are very different to the point that some of them admit not understanding my thought process, or even giving up understanding it, but we do cover up each others' blind spots and weaknesses. Kind of a mutual 'I don't understand how it works, but it's necessary, and you are good at it'. I would assume that what I look for in a partner would be similar.

4. How did you realize you're 3 or 1? any specific situation?
It wasn't one specific situation, but rather a gradual confirmation. I typed as 1 before I typed as having 3 influence. A lot of reading and observing, and just generally being able to relate to 3 more than I relate to 1. Being sp-first (the least three-like three) probably drove me to a more 1-like manifestation that caused me to initially mistype.

5. What kind of people you get into conflict with the most?
Though not many, there are various. I will pick a more 3-like one. I do know that I would not mind people who aren't like me. It's not necessarily that we are different, but that inherent difference does fuel the conflict further than if we were more similar. It has to be a combination of 2 things; those who are the exact opposite of me; eg; those who are unable to be impersonal and objective, and demand that I be the same, or do the same things. It feels like being asked to speak a foreign language, I can mimic the sounds, but I have no idea what on earth I am saying.

6. What's your hobby? or interest?
Various. I enjoy hands-on things and as someone with a E3 fix + soc variant (sp/so here), I try mitigate the common pitfalls of the type by having things that can be done just for myself and not for the sake of 'ladder-climbing' or 'performing'. Usually things that can be enjoyable for its own sake- i.e; real hobbies, that really are just hobbies, and no more than that. No leaderboards, no competition, nothing. I probably sound like I'm joking, but I'm not. I actually had to learn to have hobbies (part of what made me mistype as E1 I guess- that 'stick up butt' bad reputation they sometimes get). It was difficult, but I have them now.

7. Anything else you wanna share
I do not see E3s being talked about often, nor do I find E3s posting much about the type. I do wish more E3s would step up and discuss the type, just like there is so much discussion about other types. It would be interesting.