ilovereeses
New member
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2009
- Messages
- 116
- MBTI Type
- eNFP
- Enneagram
- 9w8
This is going to be complicated to explain...lol. If you're too impatient, you can just skip to the bottom, but I thought some background info would help.
So there's this ESFP (enneagram 6w7) I've known for about 6 years. We went to the same church and flirted with each other (well, I was shy back then so I tried to flirt...), blah blah blah. I was basically obsessed with him, even though he was a flirt.
He moved away a year later and we lost touch.
Then, another year later he visited our church catching me completely off guard. He acted like everything was just how it was back then, flirting with me like crazy. I tried to act like I wasn't interested, cuz I didn't know how else to deal with the craziness of seeing him again. He even asked me to kiss him goodbye O_O (of course I didn't...even though I wanted to). I couldn't stop thinking about him for about 2 months after that day.
Then 2 years passed by and then suddenly I get a friend request from him on facebook (oh how the internet loves to screw with our lives...). After I accepted it we never even talked. It wasn't until about 6 months later when I messaged him that we finally starting talking. He was depressed so I tried to cheer him up and he said that I actually did help =D Then he asked me for advice on this girl he met. I gave him advice, but he never replied.
Then another 2 months passed and it was Valentine's Day. I saw him on facebook chat and talked to him. He was upset that he had no girlfriend to share the day with lol. Then I mentioned to him that I had a crappy Valentine's Day too cuz of my psycho ex. boyfriend (INFJ) who wouldn't leave me alone. Then he suddenly got all protective of me and wanted to kill the INFJ. He sent him an angry message, even though I told him not to...
After that day we started talking more and more. He called me constantly and couldn't ever stop talking. There was a couple days of this until he admitted on the phone that he liked me and always has and wanted to date me. I was blown away. I mean...why did he wait so long to tell me? X_X He was surprised when I told him that I've always liked him (even though I thought I made it plainly obvious in the past, but I guess not now that I think about it...I always tried to look strong in front of him).
I told him "no" and for the first time in his life, he had absolutely no idea what to say. I basically told him that I had just gotten out of a relationship with a psycho and I wasn't ready for another one so soon. He asked how long it would take and I said 6 months XD (He flipped out). He said he needed time to think and we hung up.
He called the next day saying that he'd be willing to wait however long it took for me. O_O
He came to our church a few days after the phone conversation (I hadn't seen him in 2 years O_O) and he kissed me XD...
A month passed of us acting like a couple without...actually..being..a couple (however that works). And then one day he randomly said, "We can't do this, we aren't together, so we can't act like it. On Monday (It was Friday) we have to stop." So we stopped. He also asked me when I'd be ready for a relationship, and I said to wait until my birthday (much less than 6 months lol). He said that he'd still talk to me and call me twice a week, but we wouldn't be able to say that we love each other.
This is where I need the advice:
He never talks to me. He did in the beginning, but it slowly stopped. I sent him a few texts, no responses.
The one time he talked to me this week, he said "Hey. I wanted to know if I could take my friend to prom. I know it's a little weird, but she has no one to go with. Is that ok?" I said it was ok as long as he didn't kiss her or smack her butt...and he said, "Will do. And Thanks. She really didn't want to go alone."
After that, no communication again. I'm probably overreacting, but I really wonder if he's second guessing if he should like me. I know that's probably not true since he asked for my permission to take the other girl to prom. He could've easily not mentioned it to me and I would've never known.
But I got tired of the days of no communication, so I messaged him asking why he hasn't been talking to me, and that it makes me feel distant from him and wonder if he even remembers me. Then he texted me the next day saying, "Happy Easter. We need to talk." I replied, and then no answer....and still no answer or talking or anything of the sort.
He said earlier on that however long it took, he would use that time to get to know me and be the happiest guy in the world by just being able to talk to me.
What happened to that?
Is he in too much pain? Or is he just lazy? Is he avoiding the conflict? Is he testing me? Is he second-guessing whether he should wait for me? I don't understand why he refuses to talk to me!!!
Ah...I talked too much.
So there's this ESFP (enneagram 6w7) I've known for about 6 years. We went to the same church and flirted with each other (well, I was shy back then so I tried to flirt...), blah blah blah. I was basically obsessed with him, even though he was a flirt.
He moved away a year later and we lost touch.
Then, another year later he visited our church catching me completely off guard. He acted like everything was just how it was back then, flirting with me like crazy. I tried to act like I wasn't interested, cuz I didn't know how else to deal with the craziness of seeing him again. He even asked me to kiss him goodbye O_O (of course I didn't...even though I wanted to). I couldn't stop thinking about him for about 2 months after that day.
Then 2 years passed by and then suddenly I get a friend request from him on facebook (oh how the internet loves to screw with our lives...). After I accepted it we never even talked. It wasn't until about 6 months later when I messaged him that we finally starting talking. He was depressed so I tried to cheer him up and he said that I actually did help =D Then he asked me for advice on this girl he met. I gave him advice, but he never replied.
Then another 2 months passed and it was Valentine's Day. I saw him on facebook chat and talked to him. He was upset that he had no girlfriend to share the day with lol. Then I mentioned to him that I had a crappy Valentine's Day too cuz of my psycho ex. boyfriend (INFJ) who wouldn't leave me alone. Then he suddenly got all protective of me and wanted to kill the INFJ. He sent him an angry message, even though I told him not to...
After that day we started talking more and more. He called me constantly and couldn't ever stop talking. There was a couple days of this until he admitted on the phone that he liked me and always has and wanted to date me. I was blown away. I mean...why did he wait so long to tell me? X_X He was surprised when I told him that I've always liked him (even though I thought I made it plainly obvious in the past, but I guess not now that I think about it...I always tried to look strong in front of him).
I told him "no" and for the first time in his life, he had absolutely no idea what to say. I basically told him that I had just gotten out of a relationship with a psycho and I wasn't ready for another one so soon. He asked how long it would take and I said 6 months XD (He flipped out). He said he needed time to think and we hung up.
He called the next day saying that he'd be willing to wait however long it took for me. O_O
He came to our church a few days after the phone conversation (I hadn't seen him in 2 years O_O) and he kissed me XD...
A month passed of us acting like a couple without...actually..being..a couple (however that works). And then one day he randomly said, "We can't do this, we aren't together, so we can't act like it. On Monday (It was Friday) we have to stop." So we stopped. He also asked me when I'd be ready for a relationship, and I said to wait until my birthday (much less than 6 months lol). He said that he'd still talk to me and call me twice a week, but we wouldn't be able to say that we love each other.
This is where I need the advice:
He never talks to me. He did in the beginning, but it slowly stopped. I sent him a few texts, no responses.
The one time he talked to me this week, he said "Hey. I wanted to know if I could take my friend to prom. I know it's a little weird, but she has no one to go with. Is that ok?" I said it was ok as long as he didn't kiss her or smack her butt...and he said, "Will do. And Thanks. She really didn't want to go alone."
After that, no communication again. I'm probably overreacting, but I really wonder if he's second guessing if he should like me. I know that's probably not true since he asked for my permission to take the other girl to prom. He could've easily not mentioned it to me and I would've never known.
But I got tired of the days of no communication, so I messaged him asking why he hasn't been talking to me, and that it makes me feel distant from him and wonder if he even remembers me. Then he texted me the next day saying, "Happy Easter. We need to talk." I replied, and then no answer....and still no answer or talking or anything of the sort.
He said earlier on that however long it took, he would use that time to get to know me and be the happiest guy in the world by just being able to talk to me.
What happened to that?
Is he in too much pain? Or is he just lazy? Is he avoiding the conflict? Is he testing me? Is he second-guessing whether he should wait for me? I don't understand why he refuses to talk to me!!!
Ah...I talked too much.