Unkindloving
Lungs & Lips Locked
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
- Messages
- 2,963
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Enneagram
- 4w5
Does anyone have any tips on being a good in-between person?
As an ENFP its hard because Im normally so open about conflict and it seems like both of these types (or maybe because their siblings) arent. I think the sibling aspect throws a major wrench in most personality profiles.
I just dont understand how my ENFJ friend can give up all of himself to someone he doesnt know, yet cannot let go a small piece of his time or pride to solve a small problem with someone he's close to.
I'm actually on the other side of a conflict with an INTJ friend (she has avoided me for 3 months without reason) and my INFP is in the middle. My INFP spends a lot of time with me and lets me rant about the situation, but provides no input whatsoever. It's frustrating and makes me feel paranoid/crazy.
What you should strive for is share some information in a way where you don't say much at all or actually clarify taking either side. Either that or say that you may know a few things, but don't feel comfortable sharing and feel it would be better if they discuss it themselves.
The disconnect in my situation is my friend having no input aside from some noises or sighing. It weighs heavily on her, but sometimes any input is good/necessary, instead of acting like there's no problem at all.
ENFJ vulnerability is a weird creature. A person we are truly close to and who has a hold over a part of our core is someone we will withdraw from in certain circumstances. If the ENFJ has a problem that could offend the INTJ, he might be holding back due to the repercussion of bringing it up.