[INFP] To INFP Ladies

[SurrealisticSlumbers]

I genuinely don't think so. INTJs are often seen as incredibly intelligent, independent and a mastermind.
All incredibly positive traits.

I much prefer this over 'soft,' 'emotional,' 'not intellectually stimulating,' or whatever that INFPs constantly get perpetuated with.

But yes. Life is too short.

Oh, okay... I've heard some put-downs, i.e. that the majority of folks on the autism spectrum are INTJs (doesn't mean all INTJs are autistic), and that INTJs are black-and-white thinkers; cold rationalists unable to look at the big picture or to have much empathy for others. Then again, I am still learning the nuances of each type. I am partial to the Enneagram, to be honest. It's a little more broad of a system; less stereotypical. I am frankly more at home discussing enneatypes, and it's quite interesting to me how they correspond to Myers-Briggs types.

There's nothing wrong with being "soft," OP. Gentleness is a highly undervalued trait in our Western world. Many of us are rather good at appearing quite tough on the surface, kind of like a poached egg. Peel away that hard-boiled exterior, and you've got a gooey, scrumptious center, radiating pure love and light..."Sunny side up!" Peace, hope and unmitigated joy are what we impart to others when we're allowed to thrive and be at our best. Some of us are just a little more "hard boiled" than others because of hurts, hangups and the hand dealt to the INFP in a rigid society.

Our fellow INFP Kurt (I know, not female haha) was one such person... a sensitive, beautiful soul. Even though he ultimately couldn't feel content with his own life, it was that very same "softness" and emotionality that touched millions, if not billions of lives. His music still speaks to the kids of today. No, he wasn't a theoretical physicist, but I find that many everyday intellectuals are not always the highbrow academics or the brainiacs working in some highly technical field, but those who have high emotional intelligence and just the right mix of street smarts and philosophical intuition.

INFx folks are not robots, nor are we Stepford wives... deal.

 

[Forever]

Yeah I agree with slumbers on nothing wrong with being soft. Being vulnerable is a strength and especially if you're willing to use that to improve yourself and hold yourself accountable to others. Inviting self pity is a no no though.

We need more femininity in this world. I am quite a feminine man myself and I'm on the lookout with someone that has a heart and compassion on others.

Although yes INFPs can be very private and standoffish all but their loved ones but is that a description every INFP wishes to aspire to? Not really lol.

 

[PeaceBaby]

"I'll be expecting to see your preservation attempts as well"

Do you mind elaborating on what you meant by that?

You said, "I need more INFPs stepping up to preserve our honor LMAO."

I am in essence saying, I'll be anticipating your posts to help dispel (what you see as) the stereotypes. So far, you're not helping the cause.

Because this thread isn't dispelling anything; if anything, in the eyes of other types, it just looks whiny and does a good job of supporting those stereotypes instead.

 

[Hiraeth]

Stereotypes can get annoying, but every type has them. I wouldn't worry about it, just own your type. People in general don't look at others as mbti types. If someone is going to find you attractive, they'll find you attractive regardless.

 

[Alassea]

You said, "I need more INFPs stepping up to preserve our honor LMAO." I am in essence saying, I'll be anticipating your posts to help dispel (what you see as) the stereotypes. So far, you're not helping the cause. Because this thread isn't dispelling anything; if anything, in the eyes of other types, it just looks whiny and does a good job of supporting those stereotypes instead.

So making a thread to gather people who share my thoughts is seen as 'whiny?'
Alright. I'll keep in mind of this valuable information for future references in mbti forums.
Thank you~

 

[Alassea]

Stereotypes can get annoying, but every type has them. I wouldn't worry about it, just own your type. People in general don't look at others as mbti types. If someone is going to find you attractive, they'll find you attractive regardless.

"Attractive" is not exactly the big picture I'm trying to get at, but yeah.
I am trying to disprove all this on tumblr and it's getting better.
Thanks for your input!

 

[Alassea]

It's seen as whiny, yup. You're essentially whining and replying sarcastically if someone doesn't share your thoughts instead of trying to discuss. That's why the objective of gathering the others' experiences gets hindered.

I fail to comprehend this. The other reply had been the only time I was being sarcastic.
One INTJ commenter was being blatantly, condescending towards me.
The ones I don't agree with, I don't agree with because those are my true thoughts and am trying to discuss through that.
How is that 'whining?'

 

[Alassea]

Before I get anymore comments on this,
it's obvious making a thread on this is not helping the cause. That's not why I made this thread.
This is a simple thread to discuss and debate. I'm helping the cause by being active in different communities of mbti because naturally, actions speak louder than words.
If speaking up or rebuking is seen as 'whiny' on a thread, then that is your own problem and you can think whatever the hell you want.
End of story.

 

[Justmeonhere]

[MENTION][/MENTION]I writed before here but I want to say another thing. I appreciate your interest in debunking stereotypes. As I said before I'm continually depicted as an INTP because I'm not depressed or the typical Disney Princess. I think that there are three causes to this pattern of thinking:

1. Don't knowing the theory or only in a superficial level
2. Discrimination between types (you know the always evergreen T are genius, F are dumb ecc...
3. forgetting that the MBTI is a theory and that there are many different people with different ideas, lifes etc...

I think that a better studying of the theory could help but for who is only a troll and conditionates newbies, we can only spread the word. That's true for all the types obviously, not only INFPs.

 

[senza tema]

Guys, fun as it is to bash the newb with an opinion, your reactions aren't really helpful. If someone finds a particular type's description reductive and misleading (and with good reason at that), it's dismissive and kinda stupid to suggest that the problem is more with her than with the description and bait her by calling her whiny.

 

[FemMecha]

Like [MENTION=24618]misfortuneteller[/MENTION] said, those stereotypes really only exist in facebook MBTI groups. Occasionally, a bad troll wanders in here and goes off on some rant about "butthurt INFPs," but the mods never fail to take care of them > that's not what we're about. I've had pretty good debates with some of the trolliest NTPs here and, surprisingly, they don't discredit everything I say because of my type. I'm constantly amazed by how awesome the TypoC community is.

As far as I can tell, people on this site have an accurate perception of INFPs- our strengths, weaknesses, and the fact that we are not all the same.

But to answer your question, being judged like that was absolutely crushing and infuriating. INFPs are deep, passionate, full of ideas, and often very cynical. The idea of us all being idealistic unicorns who can't deal with reality is ridiculous.
I think a lot of social media groups are really unhealthy, and I've noticed that some people often attack and belittle others within those groups for some reason. It felt really shitty to not be able to post literally anything without someone saying that all my thoughts and opinions were due to me being a crybaby/whiner/special snowflake. I remember one group being particularly bad, where the admins (yes, the f*cking admins) would post this sort of bullshit: View attachment 17436
I will never go back to facebook MBTI groups for that exact reason.

Besides absolutely despising the word "butthurt", it is worth pointing out that a lot of people cannot imagine the kind of person who is capable of feeling intense emotion, but still be able to reason and move through life with inner strength. A lot of people have such low emotional tolerance that they despise the idea of emotions, seeing them only as inhibiting. People with high emotional tolerance can be their strongest, clearest, wisest, when experiencing focused emotion.

My sister is an INFP, and she is the only one I can talk to on the phone about the hard issues. Many people in this world who look externally strong and assertive just crumble when they encounter personal pain. My sister has intense chronic physical pain, and experiences intense emotional empathy and the pain that results from that. All the while she functions in her life and listens to others and can provide amazing insight.

So to the people who disdain someone for being "butthurt", I would say 'just because you aren't strong enough to feel intensely doesn't mean that others aren't strong enough. There are people emotionally stronger than you are. Respect that'.

 

[PeaceBaby]

So making a thread to gather people who share my thoughts is seen as 'whiny?'
Alright. I'll keep in mind of this valuable information for future references in mbti forums.
Thank you~

Why do you need other people to share your thoughts?

Why do you seek some sort of collaborative agreement here?

Why do you want to affect the external environment by "proving the stereotype wrong"?

What is so threatening to you when people disagree with your thoughts?

What about your internal values is consistent throughout this thread?

What I see in your behaviour is that you are treating people nicely when you feel you've been agreed with or treated nicely and poorly when you feel you have been disagreed with or rebuked. Is "an eye for an eye" part of your value system?

What I see is someone who has probably mistyped themselves.

 

[Alassea]

Why do you need other people to share your thoughts? Why do you seek some sort of collaborative agreement here? Why do you want to affect the external environment by "proving the stereotype wrong"? What is so threatening to you when people disagree with your thoughts? What about your internal values is consistent throughout this thread? What I see in your behaviour is that you are treating people nicely when you feel you've been agreed with or treated nicely and poorly when you feel you have been disagreed with or rebuked. Is "an eye for an eye" part of your value system? What I see is someone who has probably mistyped themselves.

And all I see are assumptions, tangents besides the point, conclusive thoughts you created on your own as well as absurdity. Oh, and pulling out the mistyped card lmao.
I'm wasting my time with you on here. Bye~

 

[FemMecha]

Isn't it fairly standard for people to push back against the stereotypes laid against them? Whether the stereotypes are based on personality, race, religion, etc.? I mostly read this as a somewhat rant-based thread that is standard fair on the forums.

Perhaps the issue being brought up is that Fi-doms are unlikely care what anyone else thinks? I can see a reasonable argument for that, but it's probably on a continuum where generally speaking Fi-dom is less invested in being defined by others, but since most every human needs to act in the world with others, it can be frustrating if there are extra obstacles to constantly overcome. Stereotypes and misconceptions bother me when they get in my way. It's partly why I don't identify with any groups. When I try to have a conversation with someone who insists on thinking I am someone else, I eventually stop having conversations, and I could understand other people could feel the same way. If it gets bad enough, then every time you converse with someone, it is a parallel set of monologues from two different realities. Maybe that's how it always is between people?

 

[Poki]

And INFP men as well if you find yourself in this situation:

My fellow INFP ladies, do you ever find yourself annoyed by MBTI stereotypes about you as these emotional, clingy, easily manipulated, dreamy creatures who think of nothing but love all day long and cannot be tough and assertive queens to save our lives?

I come across so many tumblr blogs, don't get me started on personality cafes and other websites saying shit like:
"Want nothing but love and to be loved in return...," etc. And then there are the aesthetics where we're associated with delicate flowers, tears, crybabies, etc.

Often times, these posts are made by non-INFPs (mostly INTPs,) aha. No surprises there.

A month ago, I posted a picture of myself on an MBTI facebook page; Not to toot my own horn, but I was looking rather neat, seductive and sporting on dark lipstick and as you probably predicted, most people guessed ENTJ or INTJ, sometimes INFJ.

It's like the idea of a tough, badass, regal or even sexy looking INFP woman cannot seem to get through anyone's heads.
Same in regards to personality. I am an INFP to the core as well as intelligent, challenging, highly independent, don't care about love, assertive, bad tempered, sassy, frank and opinionated.
I am studying to be a business woman and I love debates. While I do love art and music, I am practical enough to know it is difficult to survive in those fields.

But here in the MBTI community, I am painted as this pathetic, novel-heroine with low-self esteem, always crying and lovesick.

Any of you INFP girls out there relate to this problem or do you really apply yourself to these stereotypes?

I relate...oh wait...i am not INFP. I just relate to assumptions about STP types. Especially when i know our weaknesses, our fears, our goals, our negatives. I have said it before.

My take is that unhealthy INFJ will take on qualities associated to INFP in a much more negative way. And an INFP take on qualities associated to INFJ in a much more negative way. You can apply that to pretty much all type.

The crappy ISTx descriptions i will fit half of ISTJ and half ISTP. They suck and honestly people dont care to really dig much deeper into it then shallow impression vs a better seperation. It requires a bigger picture of stereotype, not always more in depth of a person.

Its not just your type.

INFP are caring, sensitive people who can turn "bad ass" when pushed.

Most people only see what affects them and dismiss the rest. That creates alot of people that dont see the full picture.

 

[magpie]

I did it first, with a sense of humor.

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-bonfire/83078-infps.html

 

[Alassea]

Isn't it fairly standard for people to push back against the stereotypes laid against them? Whether the stereotypes are based on personality, race, religion, etc.? I mostly read this as a somewhat rant-based thread that is standard fair on the forums.

Perhaps the issue being brought up is that Fi-doms are unlikely care what anyone else thinks? I can see a reasonable argument for that, but it's probably on a continuum where generally speaking Fi-dom is less invested in being defined by others, but since most every human needs to act in the world with others, it can be frustrating if there are extra obstacles to constantly overcome. Stereotypes and misconceptions bother me when they get in my way. It's partly why I don't identify with any groups. When I try to have a conversation with someone who insists on thinking I am someone else, I eventually stop having conversations, and I could understand other people could feel the same way. If it gets bad enough, then every time you converse with someone, it is a parallel set of monologues from two different realities. Maybe that's how it always is between people?

Exactly. Thank you.

 

[Starry]

Please stop crying INFPs

 

[Alassea]

I did it first, with a sense of humor.

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-bonfire/83078-infps.html

Haha! Good for you though~

 

[Alassea]

Please stop crying INFPs

You first.