phobosdiemos
New member
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2009
- Messages
- 25
- MBTI Type
- InFj
- Enneagram
- 4w5
I start these blogs the same way each time. Simply by knowing I have an urge to write something anything.
Today, I have felt completely dissassociated from everything I've come in contact with, either physically or emotionally. I feel lost, alien, abandoned, but with no outwardly reason why.
I feel very much alone, and have begun feeling much more alone since my ex revealed some stunning information to me that she's moving away to Canada. I'm not sure if I should even care, she's my ex... is it my place to care? I mean after all, I know deep inside of myself that the only reason I care is because I'm still very much in love with her. It pains me only slightly to admit this, but at least I know that I have been able to purge most of the grief associated with her.
I'm sitting at work right now running on about 19 hours without sleep. It's not too bad though, if I could stop this flucuating emotional garbage.
I suppose now isn't the time to be looking for someone else to fill my lonlieness. Do not mistake that for saying I want to fill "her" shoes, no I want someone to fill the burning hole left behind from that kick to my heart she gave me. It's been a year and a half since we broke up and I'm still talking about it...
Ok, get a grip now.
Truthfully, I don't even know where to start to begin this "search" for a potential mate, or even if at 22 years I should even be searching for one. I got to college finally, but talk to virtually no one, there just seems to be no one, I mean NO one I connect with. The girl who I had my eye on is taken now, so I'm forced to move on.
I really need to fill this lonely hole. It seems to me that it's what may be causing my problems. If I could figure out some way of opening up to people, find some way of carrying a discussion with them, connect with them, perhaps I would have a better chance of finding someone special to me. The truth though is I don't even know where to start with social vendetta's.
I think I definently fit a 4w5 enneagram though. Been doing some reading on it and I fit pretty well along the lines that define a 4w5. My mbti is still partially a mystery. I'm stuck between ISTJ, ISTP, and INTP. Facebook has an interesting application called Signal Patterns or something along those lines. It labeled my top three strengths Passionate, Introspective, and Creative. I think that fits very well.
Oh well, this post isn't quite as articulate as my previous post (a blog I posted on another site.), but then again I'm not near as in the dumps as I was then. I seem to write best when I'm obsessively depressed.
Anyway... to anyone reading this, thanks for wasting your time with this post, sorry for not making it more interesting.
Today, I have felt completely dissassociated from everything I've come in contact with, either physically or emotionally. I feel lost, alien, abandoned, but with no outwardly reason why.
I feel very much alone, and have begun feeling much more alone since my ex revealed some stunning information to me that she's moving away to Canada. I'm not sure if I should even care, she's my ex... is it my place to care? I mean after all, I know deep inside of myself that the only reason I care is because I'm still very much in love with her. It pains me only slightly to admit this, but at least I know that I have been able to purge most of the grief associated with her.
I'm sitting at work right now running on about 19 hours without sleep. It's not too bad though, if I could stop this flucuating emotional garbage.
I suppose now isn't the time to be looking for someone else to fill my lonlieness. Do not mistake that for saying I want to fill "her" shoes, no I want someone to fill the burning hole left behind from that kick to my heart she gave me. It's been a year and a half since we broke up and I'm still talking about it...
Ok, get a grip now.
Truthfully, I don't even know where to start to begin this "search" for a potential mate, or even if at 22 years I should even be searching for one. I got to college finally, but talk to virtually no one, there just seems to be no one, I mean NO one I connect with. The girl who I had my eye on is taken now, so I'm forced to move on.
I really need to fill this lonely hole. It seems to me that it's what may be causing my problems. If I could figure out some way of opening up to people, find some way of carrying a discussion with them, connect with them, perhaps I would have a better chance of finding someone special to me. The truth though is I don't even know where to start with social vendetta's.
I think I definently fit a 4w5 enneagram though. Been doing some reading on it and I fit pretty well along the lines that define a 4w5. My mbti is still partially a mystery. I'm stuck between ISTJ, ISTP, and INTP. Facebook has an interesting application called Signal Patterns or something along those lines. It labeled my top three strengths Passionate, Introspective, and Creative. I think that fits very well.
Oh well, this post isn't quite as articulate as my previous post (a blog I posted on another site.), but then again I'm not near as in the dumps as I was then. I seem to write best when I'm obsessively depressed.
Anyway... to anyone reading this, thanks for wasting your time with this post, sorry for not making it more interesting.
