Stariana
New member
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2009
- Messages
- 41
Impossible to think that guilt, shame, and regret can slowly become a way of life. It's not that you get used to feeling all three, that it stops hurting; it's more like you learn to live with a constantly agonizing wound. It's still agony, but you press on...always. The blinding pain no longer hazes your vision...it makes you see everything clearly, for what it was, what it is.
It robs you of your sleep. In what little sleep it will give you, that sleep is filled with dreams and visions on a good night. It is filled with nightmares and heartbreak on the most common of nights. Of course, there are days when you can almost forget...almost. But never entirely. You can almost believe wihtout a doubt that everything is how it should be, but then that empty space in your core screams out, and you remember.
Everyday it feels that you've swallowed large piece of gravel and it's lodged somewhere between the base of your throat and the core of your chest. Sometimes it makes you sick to your stomach, other times it chokes you. On any day, a constant throbbing ache in your soul.
It robs you of your sleep. In what little sleep it will give you, that sleep is filled with dreams and visions on a good night. It is filled with nightmares and heartbreak on the most common of nights. Of course, there are days when you can almost forget...almost. But never entirely. You can almost believe wihtout a doubt that everything is how it should be, but then that empty space in your core screams out, and you remember.
Everyday it feels that you've swallowed large piece of gravel and it's lodged somewhere between the base of your throat and the core of your chest. Sometimes it makes you sick to your stomach, other times it chokes you. On any day, a constant throbbing ache in your soul.
