small.wonder
So she did.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2013
- Messages
- 965
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Friday night I had dinner with a fairly new friend (the cousin of a close friend) to look at the Enneagram and figure out what her type is. This is just one in a long string of coffee dates, night caps and dinners, talking with people and helping them sort out their motivations. The first time I did it, I wasn't sure I should say much-- just administer the test, give them the results and lend them my book to read about it. I mean, I was meeting with a friend and her identity was her business. When the test results were laid out though, I felt (from my own extensive reading, and knowing the person across the table from me) that they weren't accurate.
Of course I now know that tests aren't always accurate, or not even close to always. But in that moment with my friend, I didn't want to tell her what type she was. I've seen the Enneagram so abused and used to pigeon hole and stereotype, and when I started studying it, I vowed not to be that person. So I decided to talk it through with the friend, examine more closely their top 3 or 4 results and ask questions. It was the first time I realized the beauty of two people coming together-- one with knowledge of self, and one with knowledge of the Enneagram-- to solve the puzzle of the individual. Even now, I tend to use that picture when making my intentions clear at the start: "I don't presume to know you (haha, unless I do). You know you, and I know the Enneagram, so let's figure it out." So last night, after a little over 4 hours sitting at a kitchen table, my newer friend settled on 6w5 with a strong 3 fix, 613. Reading on instinctual variants was homework.
It's still a shock to me that after over two years studying and applying, that I'm not bored of this stuff. I think perhaps once I meet one of each of the 972 different possible types, then I can be bored.
Of course I now know that tests aren't always accurate, or not even close to always. But in that moment with my friend, I didn't want to tell her what type she was. I've seen the Enneagram so abused and used to pigeon hole and stereotype, and when I started studying it, I vowed not to be that person. So I decided to talk it through with the friend, examine more closely their top 3 or 4 results and ask questions. It was the first time I realized the beauty of two people coming together-- one with knowledge of self, and one with knowledge of the Enneagram-- to solve the puzzle of the individual. Even now, I tend to use that picture when making my intentions clear at the start: "I don't presume to know you (haha, unless I do). You know you, and I know the Enneagram, so let's figure it out." So last night, after a little over 4 hours sitting at a kitchen table, my newer friend settled on 6w5 with a strong 3 fix, 613. Reading on instinctual variants was homework.
It's still a shock to me that after over two years studying and applying, that I'm not bored of this stuff. I think perhaps once I meet one of each of the 972 different possible types, then I can be bored.
