[ENFJ] The ENFJ Facade/Fakeness

[Domino]

All I know is - if you do something so hideously bad that it causes me to blanch and then go speechless with anger, there WILL BE NO PHONE CALL. I'm going to very calmly inform you of what you did and then burn you to the waterline on the spot. I don't understand the hostage-taking that Harlow's bf does (or the game playing the two of them seem to enjoy). He sounds impossible to understand. And frankly, if I'm so angry I'm seeing through time, there won't be any dancing around the matter. I've had my SO make me so angry I just stood there shaking for a second, bowing up, until my ISTP friend, Bouncer, grabbed me and literally carried me off so I couldn't verbally shred the guy.

Harlow and her man like trading blows. It's a power cycle. They're happy with it.

 

[SpottingTrains]

All I know is - if you do something so hideously bad that it causes me to blanch and then go speechless with anger, there WILL BE NO PHONE CALL. I'm going to very calmly inform you of what you did and then burn you to the waterline on the spot. I don't understand the hostage-taking that Harlow's bf does (or the game playing the two of them seem to enjoy). He sounds impossible to understand. And frankly, if I'm so angry I'm seeing through time, there won't be any dancing around the matter. I've had my SO make me so angry I just stood there shaking for a second, bowing up, until my ISTP friend, Bouncer, grabbed me and literally carried me off so I couldn't verbally shred the guy.

Harlow and her man like trading blows. It's a power cycle. They're happy with it.

Interesting, I pretty much operate the same way but I won't ever express my anger in a verbal sense as you seemed poised to do. Not that I saying I never explode in anger but it is so extremely rare that I can't even remember the last time.

One thing I am interested in is how you talk about how Harlow's BF is taking her hostage (that's how I read it at least :x), what do you mean by that?

 

[Domino]

Interesting, I pretty much operate the same way but I won't ever express my anger in a verbal sense as you seemed poised to do. Not that I saying I never explode in anger but it is so extremely rare that I can't even remember the last time.

My good ENFJ male friend Taco won't explode on people either. I think his dominant male energy keeps it down. If he's losing it, he's more a rattling string of frustrated angry jokes and sarcasm, you know, the ground shaking beneath the coming eruption. I've heard tears come into his tone, but never saw them.

Me, it may have something to do with being tamped down, being female. I don't torch my antagonists like I used to. Back in the day, I was Pele. Not arbitrary, not cruel. Just volcanic, shooting fire into the sky. Granted, it took some doing to make me that angry. My SO had a rare twisted knack (hence why I didn't date him for long). My ISTP bff was constantly having to physically restrain me, drag me away, and force me to drive out into nowhere with him to shred tires, cry, pound the steering wheel until I got calm.

I felt very powerless then. I was made to feel powerless. I had to deploy the claws to survive. I'm not in that state anymore. Me and Taco are a lot calmer now. I pity him, being saddled with our personality AND being male. I know how vividly I feel things and I can't imagine society encouraging him to express such things.

How do you handle it?

One thing I am interested in is how you talk about how Harlow's BF is taking her hostage (that's how I read it at least :x), what do you mean by that?

Oh honey, the two of them. It's well-known 'round these parts. You'll get more clued in as you post more and get familiar. (Glad to have you here, btw. I rarely touch the Intro threads. Good to see another ENFJ.)

 

[Desperado44]

I think ENFJ's can be very fake.

Ex: My ENFJ boyfriend and I will be driving in the car back from a party or whatever and he will be steaming mad about something I did but I will have no idea as he will joke around and act as if everything's peachy keen as shit and then as soon as he gets home he'll blow up at me over the phone. I still can't believe he's that scared of/repulsed by confrontation to be so fake and then blow up. What a pussy.

But the funny thing is, he's not a pussy. He's the quintessential prototype of the all-american male that everyone loves and respects and no one fucks around with but he can't outright scream at me about something stupid? I don't know...

That has nothing to do with being a healthy ENFJ......that is a guy suffering from Passive-Aggressive Behavior

 

[Domino]

That has nothing to do with being a healthy ENFJ......that is a guy suffering from Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Point, set, and match. Well-said, Desperado.

 

[SpottingTrains]

How do you handle it?

Exactly as you described with your friend Taco.

Oh honey, the two of them. It's well-known 'round these parts. You'll get more clued in as you post more and get familiar. (Glad to have you here, btw. I rarely touch the Intro threads. Good to see another ENFJ.)

Yeah, I am beginning to realize that half the ENFJ threads on this forums have been started by her

 

[Domino]

You, Third Rider and Desperado will have to get used to all of us staring. You lot are like yeti sightings.

 

[SpottingTrains]

I was the only ENFJ male in my entire lecture when we took the exam so I can definitely see what you mean. Hopefully, we can get some conversation going between us male ENFJ's at the very least

 

[Littlelostnf]

I was the only ENFJ male in my entire lecture when we took the exam so I can definitely see what you mean. Hopefully, we can get some conversation going between us male ENFJ's at the very least

Oh joy another male ENFJ...welcome. Like Pink I almost never go into the Intro threads and I've been so busy lately I've been coming and lurking for a bit... answering the posts in my head and wondering why when I go back into that thread I can't find my post...hmmm maybe that because I didn't ACTUALLY post anything...it was all in the noggin...

But I am posting this..I just pinched myself.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Glad to be here, good to see there are actually ENFJs on this forum hehe.

 

[Littlelostnf]

See Post...reply. I'm going to have to pinch myself more....
or get someone else to do it for me

Yup there are a few more of us around (Lookin4...Brendan...blah blah)