[NT] The chance to be honest

[GargoylesLegacy]

There are so many things to consider that we probably don't know. Do you have a really annoying voice? How's your body language? Do you have an aura of confidence or one of weakness/neediness?

Actually none of these. But I am not really talking about "real life". In real life I have my roommate as a friend only. And my dad. That's it. Tho, I do have the same issues online and offline. I have a reason to ask you guys. You have seen me in "action" here already and if I have anything negative on myself, you probably will have noticed. Also you guys read my stuff and so you can tell me how I come off. Some more, some less. But still.

now, I don't know you that well. I have read only a few of your posts not having been here that long. I've had no reason to think negatively of you...

Heh thanks.
I guess when I hear some more of those I should stop trying to find the mistake on my side. Maybe it really IS people. Or at least "them TOO". I am just not the person who would blame others for stuff that happens. I first look at myself. Well, unless it is SO REALLY CLEAR that it was the other person. And even then, it always takes two.

 

[Amargith]

I haven't been here this long yet, but as far as I can see you're one of the more balanced people. You can think logically, but you also have a caring, warm nature. And though some may perceive this thread as showing insecurity, I consider the desire for self-improvement a wise pursuit. And if feedback helps you with that, I will gladly help.
Just make sure you do not compromise who you are for others, there is absolutely no need for that

Note: Some of us may not be native speaker German, but do speak it, so if you don't want others to know, use PM, it's safer...just a friendly heads-up

 

[King sns]

Actually none of these. But I am not really talking about "real life". In real life I have my roommate as a friend only. And my dad. That's it. Tho, I do have the same issues online and offline. I have a reason to ask you guys. You have seen me in "action" here already and if I have anything negative on myself, you probably will have noticed. Also you guys read my stuff and so you can tell me how I come off. Some more, some less. But still.

I thought you made a new friend the other day? Hopefully that works out for you. You seem nice enough, (from an online-person perspective.) I think it helps to let go when you're making new friends. Try to be honest, and be yourself. If you get rejected, its not the end of the world. You'd be surprised at how receptive people are when you actively try to be their friend. (Being friendly, talking, being yourself, asking if they want to hang out sometime.) Let the focus be on them, not on you.

Some of this may be a little anti INTJ, but a little extra work will go a long way, you can relax a little more once the friends know you .

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

I haven't been here this long yet, but as far as I can see you're one of the more balanced people. You can think logically, but you also have a caring, warm nature. And though some may perceive this thread as showing insecurity, I consider the desire for self-improvement a wise pursuit. And if feedback helps you with that, I will gladly help.
Just make sure you do not compromise who you are for others, there is absolutely no need for that

Heh, thanks. It is kinda my intention to be somewhat balanced, no matter if I am an INTJ or whatever else you can score on any tests. Too one-sided doesn't go well and I don't want to be "boring" either. People and also myself would get veeery annoyed if I was only focused on one thing I guess.
Well no. I am not changing for others. I am changing because I want to work on myself and "grow". I often read books with such topics too. I mean that's what we are here for, to grow and learn more (in life generally and also here on this forum).

Note: Some of us may not be native speaker German, but do speak it, so if you don't want others to know, use PM, it's safer...just a friendly heads-up

Heh, yeah will look out for that. =P
Tho I don't care if people know I can speak whatever. Or should I be afraid? Are people who speak german or other languages like...aliens or so?

I thought you made a new friend the other day? Hopefully that works out for you

Yeah...yeah I did. Tho, I really don't want to end up like "always" with him. Actually I don't want to end up like that ever again if possible. At least not because I am doing something that drives people away or similar.

You seem nice enough, (from an online-person perspective.) I think it helps to let go when you're making new friends. Try to be honest, and be yourself. If you get rejected, its not the end of the world. You'd be surprised at how receptive people are when you actively try to be their friend. (Being friendly, talking, being yourself, asking if they want to hang out sometime.) Let the focus be on them, not on you.

Yeah that's cool. I can do that. Actually I DO that already I think. *thinks*
Oh and about that being "anti INTJ"...no problem, really. I am not afraid of "working" or trying something new. So thank you. *nod*

 

[Anja]

yes it most certainly is goo

They're passing out goo here? Save some for me, please! Hee.

You've caught my attention as someone with goo things to say, Gargoyle. Don't have a handle on you yet but don't recall you saying anything which I found out of line in any way. :hi:

Your byline made me chuckle.

 

[Amargith]

Heh, yeah will look out for that. =P
Tho I don't care if people know I can speak whatever. Or should I be afraid? Are people who speak german or other languages like...aliens or so

Oh I have no probs with you guys speaking German, just realize that others do know what you are talking about

 

[Lady_X]

Thanks. =)
And well, if you have nothing to "complain" about that's goo too.

I guess I should bother you more. =P

They're passing out goo here? Save some for me, please! Hee.

You've caught my attention as someone with goo things to say, Gargoyle. Don't have a handle on you yet but don't recall you saying anything which I found out of line in any way. :hi:

Your byline made me chuckle.

just wanted to point out that it was she speaking of goo...and i still haven't received mine so don't hold your breath.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

You've caught my attention as someone with goo things to say, Gargoyle. Don't have a handle on you yet but don't recall you saying anything which I found out of line in any way. :hi:

Cool, thank you. And whatever goo means.

Oh I have no probs with you guys speaking German, just realize that others do know what you are talking about

Hehe, I am aware of that. But it's not that I use german to rant about someone or whatever. I use that if I know the other person speaks german and when I see that something didn't get explained too good by me for him / her to understand. But thanks for pointing that out. =)

And as far as I see, I am not as uh..."bad" as I thought first. Guess what my mother said to me once is just still too stuck in my head, so it occasionally keeps coming back or so. Who knows. *shrug*
Also I am glad I am not assy and arrogant like people normally think INTJs are. Lucky me.

 

[scattershot]

I haven't seen anything negative either. I have no idea what an INTJ is supposed to be like, but you don't come off assy or arrogant at all.

People often just tell me "you are fine", but somewhen months later they get fed up with something and then tell it to me all angry.

Do you have any examples of things people have gotten upset about? Might help us figure out whether you really are doing something to irritate them or if they're just uptight.

You do seem pretty strong-willed and independent. Sometimes people are threatened if they know you won't conform to what everyone else wants. If that's what's going on, then just find better friends who appreciate it.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

I haven't seen anything negative either. I have no idea what an INTJ is supposed to be like, but you don't come off assy or arrogant at all.

You do seem pretty strong-willed and independent. Sometimes people are threatened if they know you won't conform to what everyone else wants. If that's what's going on, then just find better friends who appreciate it.

Yeah actually I am. Very strong and all. Maybe that scares people. Actually I BET it does. But I can't just play weak only for them to not be "scared". What is there to be scared about anyways? Maybe they think I will never ask for any help. But actually I do, no matter how strong I am.
Anyways, thank you =)

Do you have any examples of things people have gotten upset about? Might help us figure out whether you really are doing something to irritate them or if they're just uptight.

Well, the last person who said I was "an evil lying demon" and how much of damage I did to him was fed up with me "overloading him". So basically I told this guy how I am from the beginning and I told him he can tell me if something bothers him about me. In the meantime I occasionally asked if everything is fine, because he kept saying nothing thru the whole year we were friends. But nope, it was all fine.
Then one day he randomly disappeared. Later I found out he was fed up with me overloading him with things. Like, you know, I liked him a lot and would talk with him about different stuff and sometimes ask for opinions, advices, help, whatever. Interaction-stuff basically. First he says I SHOULD do that more and then he blames I do it too much. So yeah, confused much. =/
I really didn't do it often. But how can he still get fed-up with that? Such odd stuff keeps happening to me.

So when I am acting INTJ-ish, people are bothered and think I don't trust them enough because I don't talk about problems or whatever; and when I try to people think I am emo? X__x

 

[scattershot]

But I can't just play weak only for them to not be "scared".

Like I said, just find better friends. Too many people conform because they're too scared to be themselves. Don't compromise yourself when there's so many other people in the world to meet. Yeah, it takes longer to find friends who appreciate your strength, but it's usually worth the effort. If nothing else, just find more ENFPs - we love people who are genuine.

Later I found out he was fed up with me overloading him with things. Like, you know, I liked him a lot and would talk with him about different stuff and sometimes ask for opinions, advices, help, whatever. Interaction-stuff basically.

Hmm...the other word I thought of, but forgot to say in my last post was intense. Looks like that might also be part of it. I have yet to figure out an answer on that one though. I tend to burn people out too.

So when I am acting INTJ-ish, people are bothered and think I don't trust them enough because I don't talk about problems or whatever; and when I try to people think I am emo? X__x

Lol - beats me. People are confusing as hell sometimes.

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Heh well thank you.
And yeah, maybe you are right about the ENFPs *lol*
I am working on it.

As for the rest, I will see I guess. People are odd.

 

[01011010]

Nothing negative so far

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Nothing negative so far

Heh, thanks.
With you I know you would tell me anyways if there was anything wrong with me, because you are an INTJ and that makes you superhonest, just like me. =P

 

[ZiL]

I like ye. Like others said, you seem balanced, and are great for a friendly chat .

Later I found out he was fed up with me overloading him with things. Like, you know, I liked him a lot and would talk with him about different stuff and sometimes ask for opinions, advices, help, whatever. Interaction-stuff basically. First he says I SHOULD do that more and then he blames I do it too much. So yeah, confused much. =/
I really didn't do it often. But how can he still get fed-up with that? Such odd stuff keeps happening to me.

You know, I find that whenever I try to act "open" like this towards people (especially guys), it backfires as well. Either I'm too "cold" or I'm too "forward." Of course, not having seen this in real life in your case, I can't say much more, but it does sound familiar. Calling you "evil" or whatever seems like overkill, though, heheh.

 

[01011010]

Heh, thanks.
With you I know you would tell me anyways if there was anything wrong with me, because you are an INTJ and that makes you superhonest, just like me. =P

 

[GargoylesLegacy]

Actually, during these past days I might found out what the deal is with me. I mean with me acting "anti INTJ" etc. It's freaking odd. Seems that in real Life I am a freaking INTJ, meaning I don't want interaction with people, and here on the net I am "all opposite". I swear those last few days were pretty enlightening. Tho, it doesn't really have anything to do with people saying I am evil. But I wanted to add it anyways. Now it makes MUCH more sense why I keep scoring as an INTJ. I am gonna write a detailed Blog about it all tomorrow anyways. Just figured I'd add this here. =)

Oh and thanks ZiL

 

[The Pascuzzi]

i don't know you that well either, most probably because i'm new to these boards. i do know that you seem to be "warm and caring," at least online, and that you take great pride in that. the existence of a "warm and caring" INTJ gives me a peculiar kind of "hope" that being INTJ and being genuinely interested in the well-being of people do not necessarily have to be mutually exclusive.

the fact that you're a warm and caring INTJ also provides a standard against which people can measure their knowledge of mbti theory. you're something to figure out, and remember, coming from another INTJ, that's a compliment.

So when I am acting INTJ-ish, people are bothered and think I don't trust them enough because I don't talk about problems or whatever; and when I try to people think I am emo? X__x

haha, i have this problem, too. all due to Fi + innate INTJ intensity, i guess. just tell them they're overreacting or something INTJ like that when they tell you you're being emo.

 

[runvardh]

Hey Gargoyles, I hope my thing about deep dark trouble didn't add to this. I meant the trouble in a good way you know.

Your issues, what ever ones exist, are low key enough that you may need to be here a while before most of us will have any decent idea. Since they're this low key you may either need to open up more to expose them or there really isn't an issue at all. After that none of us have dealt with you IRL so that also remains a large roadblock. Sorry, but I guess all I can do is repeat what others have said.

 

[01011010]

i don't know you that well either, most probably because i'm new to these boards. i do know that you seem to be "warm and caring," at least online, and that you take great pride in that. the existence of a "warm and caring" INTJ gives me a peculiar kind of "hope" that being INTJ and being genuinely interested in the well-being of people do not necessarily have to be mutually exclusive.

INTJs aren't nice without ulterior motive. If one is being nice to you, it is probably related to their world domination strategy. Get away while you can.