[SJ] Telling ESFJ and ESTJ apart?

[wildrose]

What are some ways to tell ESFJ and ESTJ apart?

I have been working on typing myself, and I arrived at ESFJ. Now I'm considering ESTJ too. Help. At first I thought Fe-dominant because I do consider others in my decisions..but, I thought again--it's only my parents. Then it's only in the way of "what kind of backlash am I willing to put up with?" Like wearing my hair a certain way; am I willing to put up with the constant comments from my mom about it? I'm not sure that this is really Fe.

(If there's another thread like this, sorry. I went back 10 pages and also searched without finding anything.)

 

[great_bay]

I have no idea how you're able to confuse ESFJ and ESTJ

Fe-Si-Ne-Ti
Te-Si-Ne-Fi

 

[wildrose]

I have no idea how you're able to confuse ESFJ and ESTJ

Fe-Si-Ne-Ti
Te-Si-Ne-Fi

Well, apparently it's possible. Sure, if I'm relying on the exaggerated stereotypes, it would be easy. It seems that the same action can come from different functions but for different reasons. That's why I included the example of my parents and decisions. Is that more Fe or Te?

 

[cameo]

I would think that an ESFJ would be much more interested in harmony among group members than an ESTJ would be, and would be more affiliative in general. My best friend is an ESTJ so my experience with her (and whatever I can add as an ISTJ) makes me think that ESFJs are probably much more social and warm than ESTJs. My friend gets along well with people most of the time, but often she's more interested in principles, organization, efficiency, etc. than with fostering friendships or avoiding conflict.

I know this is sort of verging on the stereotypical and is also purely anecdotal, but maybe provides some insight for you? Te and Fe are pretty different functions. The specific example you gave of your parents and the haircut strikes me as being more Te because it seems in that instance that you're more interested in efficiency for yourself than with pleasing your parents, but I don't think that that one incident necessarily precludes you from still being Fe-dominant. Fe is probably going to make you, in general, more concerned with values, harmony, and meaning while Te is going to probably be more concerned with logical and analytical efficiency and order, etc.