TED Talk By INFP MBTI Expert - The joys and pain of growing up different

[highlander]

This is kind of inspiring and good.

 

[Elfboy]

so much Fi. everything is a self comparison
PS: he's 52? can't say I'd date him, but I'll be very happy if I look that good at his age

 

[Eluded_One]

Before I comment on the video, I'd like to confess, I can relate to all his early experiences. Being bullied, dealing with a death of a loved one, heavy admiration for my early mentors, and playing in a band *cough* (in hindsight, playing in a band seems to be much more embarrassing than the former), all except for the gay part.

In all honesty, it didn't seem to inspire me much. Perhaps because it's nothing new to me, or due to his seemingly improvised execution (his performance didn't seem fully planned out, which isn't necessarily always a bad thing). Although, I do admire him for having the courage to come up stage and be open about his true-self under a tough audience that seemed to be oblivious when to applause to his jokes.

so much Fi. everything is a self comparison

Is this before or after your recent INFP transformation?

 

[Evo]

a tough audience that seemed to be oblivious when to applause to his jokes.

They always seem to be in TED talks. Quite rude imo.

 

[Eilonwy]

Talk about a tough audience--it wasn't the TED Audience, it's you guys. There was laughter at his jokes, but the mics weren't on the audience, so it's barely noticeable. Also, he's under a time constraint, so he doesn't pause to let the audience reaction have time to build up.

I loved his talk. I didn't feel as different growing up as he says he felt, but I can relate to much of what he says. One thing that struck me was him saying that the extraverts in his life told him to DO things. It actually is good advice, even for introverts, but it is sometimes difficult to find the energy to maintain.

Another thing I could relate to is that I also had a 6th grade teacher who took me under her wing. She was retired by the time I was in 6th grade, but most of my older siblings had been in her class. She used to have me over to her house to bake cookies, starting when I was probably no more than 5 or 6. She would make little sticker books for me, or just little books with positive messages. I still have at least one of them that I saved. We also had a lifelong friendship, though I don't think I ever told her that I loved her. I wish I had.

 

[Eluded_One]

Talk about a tough audience--it wasn't the TED Audience, it's you guys.

I'll try to be a better audience next time by applauding to my computer screen

 

[Elfboy]

Is this before or after your recent INFP transformation?

it wouldn't be relevant, because both have Fi, but honestly, I'm mostly trying on INFP at the moment

 

[Eluded_One]

it wouldn't be relevant, because both have Fi, but honestly, I'm mostly trying on INFP at the moment

IMO, the cognitive priority is as different as night and day. I have more in common with ISFP's than do ENFP's.

An introvert will primarily have their focus inward. If any focus is beyond that, the game has changed.

 

[Elfboy]

IMO, the cognitive priority is as different as night and day. I have more in common with ISFP's than do ENFP's.

they use all the same functions, they're not going to be that different. I relate far more to both INFP and ENFP than I do ISFP or ESFP. when both of the top functions are strong, they look very similar.

also, you are typed as INFx, so if you were INFJ, it would make a lot of sense that you would relate more to ISFP than ENFP because, apart from being introverted, INFJ shares more functions with ISFP than ENFP

An introvert will primarily have their focus inward. If any focus is beyond that, the game has changed.

ENFPs are a very inward focused type as well and many will kill for their deeply held convictions (seriously, I hate how they're all painted as spineless butterfly chasing puppies who wouldn't hurt a soul. that's the 9s fixed ENFPs, not the 1 fixed or 8 fixed ENFPs)

 

[Eluded_One]

they use all the same functions, they're not going to be that different. I relate far more to both INFP and ENFP than I do ISFP or ESFP. when both of the top functions are strong, they look very similar.

I suppose that is a matter of isolated references for both you and I. Our test results are obviously different, albeit, your I/E is weaker than the rest of your scores, as my N/S and F/T is weaker than my scores.

also, you are typed as INFx, so if you were INFJ, it would make a lot of sense that you would relate more to ISFP than ENFP because, apart from being introverted, INFJ shares more functions with ISFP than ENFP

INFx is my socionics type... that's what their test gave me. I should delete it since I don't follow that brand of JCF that much. The J/P dichotomy is a different animal altogether in the socionics system. As far as I know, most INFP's will score INFj in their system.

ENFPs are a very inward focused type as well and many will kill for their deeply held convictions (seriously, I hate how they're all painted as spineless butterfly chasing puppies who wouldn't hurt a soul. that's the 9s fixed ENFPs, not the 1 fixed or 8 fixed ENFPs)

I wasn't speaking in terms of depth. I wouldn't doubt many ENFP's are deeper than me in many areas. If you spend most of your time focusing on what is in your immediate environment, it doesn't correlate to that individual having more or less values than the next person. I'm also not a big fan of stereotypes. Although, it is a human trait to speculate on recurring patterns. The human need to protect themselves from potential "unknowns" outweigh rational judgement.

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=13440]Eluded_One[/MENTION]
scores are irrelevant. your type is your type because of the cognitive makeup, not because of how N/S, P/J etc you are

 

[Mal12345]

It's not a TED talk, it's TEDx - where something always goes wrong.

 

[Seymour]

[MENTION=13440]Eluded_One[/MENTION]
scores are irrelevant. your type is your type because of the cognitive makeup, not because of how N/S, P/J etc you are

Actually, empirically speaking, preference strength IS significant, and middling preferences don't affect behavior much. Plus, P/J isn't a "meta" or "master" preference objectively, in that it doesn't affect other preferences any more than the others do. I+J or S+F is just as predictive as N+J.

Granted, all that doesn't match standard MBTI/JCF type dynamics, but type dynamics has failed (so far) to be empirically validated. I think it's best viewed as a fun theory, but not something one gets to slap someone else down for failing to agree with.

As far as the TEDx talk, I related a lot to parts of it. I grew up as a gay INFP in Texas, and expected to find a group where I fit in just around the corner. First middle school was that place where I'd find similar folks, then high school, then college, then amongst out gay folks or amongst the computer geeks. Eventually I learned that I wasn't likely to find a perfect social environment anywhere, but that was just fine... I was "at home" enough and I could find individuals I related to, regardless of the over-all context.

 

[chubber]

I'm wondering how this is inspirational.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I don't relate to him much. I was quite an ornery kid, not sensitive in a weepy way. My mom said I would get exasperated with peers who cried a lot.

He reminds me of my INFP 9w1 friend though. She does cute stuff like singing in the shower & naming squirrels.
Being "different" bothers her more, based on her tendency to blush over stuff she thinks might peg her as weird; whereas I always felt it was cool to be a "weirdo" growing up. I had to come to terms with being painfully ordinary, and to note that any feelings of begin different were due to my detachment from being so introverted, not because I am fundamentally different. I couldn't see myself in people because I was too busy looking at myself.

IMO, the cognitive priority is as different as night and day. I have more in common with ISFP's than do ENFP's.

An introvert will primarily have their focus inward. If any focus is beyond that, the game has changed.

I feel my personality as a whole is more similar to an ISFP also, although I think it's most similar to INxx types (regardless of function preferences). I think my thinking style may be closer to an ENFP, which was never evident to me until I joined forums like this & got to "see inside" ENFPs' heads more. Their outer personalities are not something I relate to at all; my demeanor is more often compared to even INTx types I know than ENFPs in person. The ENFP type description is not relatable to me, whereas I relate to huge chunks of many ISFP profiles & the other INxx types.

People put too much stock in whole function stack & not enough in the dominant function & dynamics between them based on where they land in the stack (ie. tertiary Si in INFP is nothing like dominant Si in an ISTJ); & especially is the preference for introversion over extroversion downplayed, which is actually a primary divide for how personality manifests. So I too relate to most introverts more easily in terms of personality than I do any extrovert, although mentality is something I can relate to in many NPs & FPs, even if the demeanors & behaviors are markedly different. I think this has to do with similar mentalities focused on different areas (ie. Ne is similar to ENFP in how it works, but it's in service of Fi, which has an inward focus, and thus makes the INFP "dreamier" and using Ne more creatively for Fi ideals than charismatically to uncover potential in others/situations).

 

[Forever_Jung]

People put too much stock in whole function stack & not enough in the dominant function & dynamics between them based on where they land in the stack (ie. tertiary Si in INFP is nothing like dominant Si in an ISTJ); & especially is the preference for introversion over extroversion downplayed, which is actually a primary divide for how personality manifests. So I too relate to most introverts more easily in terms of personality than I do any extrovert, although mentality is something I can relate to in many NPs & FPs, even if the demeanors & behaviors are markedly different. I think this has to do with similar mentalities focused on different areas (ie. Ne is similar to ENFP in how it works, but it's in service of Fi, which has an inward focus, and thus makes the INFP "dreamier" and using Ne more creatively for Fi ideals than charismatically to uncover potential in others/situations).

I'd like to echo you, there. My Fi is a big part of my personality, but it is a mere orbital of the Planet Ne.

I have an ISFP friend who often connects with me via Fi. However, we can get our wires crossed when she examines my Fi outside the context of my dominant function (Ne). In an effort to make myself understood I once told her she was watching a man running away from a tiger, and mistaking him for someone who believed in the value of vigorous exercise. She looked at me like I was crazy (some ENFP communicator I am!). One of these days, I'll think of a better analogy.

For all my emphasis on the dominant function, I will say that I find INFP's very relatable when it comes to their writing.

 

[ygolo]

Do we really still use MBTI to celebrate differences?

 

[Eluded_One]

Do we really still use MBTI to celebrate differences?

My milkshake is better than yours

 

[pinkgraffiti]

so much Fi. everything is a self comparison
PS: he's 52? can't say I'd date him, but I'll be very happy if I look that good at his age

you're an INFP now? are you sure? honestly, from your videos, you always looked like an extrovert to me elfboy.

to OP, thanks for the video!

PS. watched it. didn't like it. it said absolutely nothing new, and it's just a guy talking about himself, whining about how he feels and how he's different. yeah, join the club.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

I'd like to echo you, there. My Fi is a big part of my personality, but it is a mere orbital of the Planet Ne.

I have an ISFP friend who often connects with me via Fi. However, we can get our wires crossed when she examines my Fi outside the context of my dominant function (Ne). In an effort to make myself understood I once told her she was watching a man running away from a tiger, and mistaking him for someone who believed in the value of vigorous exercise. She looked at me like I was crazy (some ENFP communicator I am!). One of these days, I'll think of a better analogy.

For all my emphasis on the dominant function, I will say that I find INFP's very relatable when it comes to their writing.

yes, i don't agree much with [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] (but it might be my fault, because introverts are more sensitive to their inner world than extroverts). anyway, the type i can relate to the most is definitely INFP, i feel like we are basically the same type but just one looking inwards and the other outwards. but i feel totally understood by them and they are very relatable to me, like you say. this could also be a special case just for ENFP/INFP, as i've read that ENFPs are the most introverted or extroverts!?