Do I not understand sx right?
I always felt that the difference between so/sx and sx-dom was that so/sx's are more about the performance of sexuality as opposed to actual carnality. I think that's why Tay has always been able to be a serial dater (who talks pretty candidly about those relationships in her music) without ever being labeled a slut.
If you want to understand the difference between sx and so/sx, consider the difference between this:
and this...
Subject matter-wise the songs are pretty similar. Both are about "bad boy" types that they've gotten involved with who ended up leaving them broken hearted afterwards. And they're both roughly the same age when they sang them. The thing that makes them different is the degree of rawness that Winehouse brings to it. She's willing to go there and really expose something ugly and specific not only about the relationship, but about herself as well. That orientation towards the individual and the sort of blithe disregard for how social mores would indicate how to present self in an acceptable way are hallmarks of sx-domness.
Taylor's song works for so/sx because while it is about intimacy, the song is presented in almost archetypical fashion, which makes the beats it follows narratively easier for people to identify with en masse. People can bring what they want to it, and share intimacy (sx) on a group (so) level through the common experience she's forged for her listeners. Whether it really happened or with whom is almost besides the point: people look at Taylor Swift and are meant to see themselves.
Mm, it's still hard to see for me. But she is on the 2/3 axis so it would make sense why she seems ESFJ to me so I'm wondering if you could elaborate on this ESFPness you're getting.
I think the idea that she's either a 2 or has a strong 2 wing, coupled with the idea that she's so/sx could produce a very Fe feel. I just see her as more Se/Ni than Si/Ne. I think she
plays Si/Ne qualities a lot more in a pretty canny ploy to make her more relatable. But if you're playing it, it probably means you ain't it. Also compare her style to someone who's a lot more obviously Ne/Si like Katy Perry, she comes off as a lot more Se-style in the moment and just generally more present.