[INTP] Talking on the phone

[Oeufa]

I loathe speaking on the phone. Chatting to friends is fine, but anything remotely official or formal is extremely off-putting. I'd call it a phobia but it's more like an aversion - if I can avoid it I will. For instance, I need to make a phone call this evening but I'm putting it off. I've actually worked out in my head how the dialogue needs to go and gone over it a couple of times. The funny thing is the call itself will only be 60-90 seconds max

So, is this an I thing? An INTP thing? A non-type related thing? What are your thoughts?

 

[sciguy90]

I do the exact same thing. I have a set formula for different conversation topics.

 

[ajblaise]

I once had anxiety about just the thought of it for a while. But have had period of regular longass convos with SOs in the past. And it feels natural. So there's some hope for INTPs. Just not ISTJs.

 

[Amethyst]

I don't like calling people, mostly because I have a really difficult time understanding what people are saying. Friends and people I've heard their voices before in real life I'm comfortable with, even calling for take-out, but if I have to call customer service for something or am calling to retrieve information, I actually have to write down what to say and try and have another person interpret what they're saying on the other line for me. (I don't completely misunderstand what they're saying, but it's just extremely difficult for me to pick up certain things)

Maybe I'm INTP...or maybe it's not a type thing. I'm going with the latter.

 

[Redbone]

I dislike it, too. And seek to avoid it. I will put off doing business by phone or try to go around it by looking for a website or something "Do I have to call?" It's never as bad as I make it out to be when it's over, either...but it doesn't keep me from running the same thing all over again on the next round.

There are a few people I will talk to over the phone because they dislike writing as communication...a friend and my oldest sister immediately come to mind (ESTJ and ENTJ respectively--they hate texting and email).

 

[Oeufa]

I figured it probably wasn't a type thing but it did seem likely that Is would be more likely to try to avoid it . I still haven't made that call yet, but my excuse is because my phone credit's running low and the landline is occupied at the moment . Once the phone's free I'll make the call.

Bleh. Hate this twisty, knotted feeling in my stomach beforehand!

 

[Beargryllz]

I hope one day to have a secretary do these calls for me.

 

[Oeufa]

I once had anxiety about just the thought of it for a while. But have had period of regular longass convos with SOs in the past. And it feels natural. So there's some hope for INTPs. Just not ISTJs.

Personal calls are fine with me. I just hate calling up anyone about anything non-personal. Like customer services. Or this woman I've to ring tonight to sort out a job .

I dislike it, too. And seek to avoid it. I will put off doing business by phone or try to go around it by looking for a website or something "Do I have to call?" It's never as bad as I make it out to be when it's over, either...but it doesn't keep me from running the same thing all over again on the next round.

Ah, this is exactly what I'm talking about!

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I hate the phone, b/c whenever you are on it you are never actually where you are.

You might be walking downtown, but the only thing you care about is clicking your thumbs on a screen, or talking to someone who isn't there.

Life is to short to spend it somewhere else.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I loathe speaking on the phone. Chatting to friends is fine, but anything remotely official or formal is extremely off-putting.

Personal calls are fine with me. I just hate calling up anyone about anything non-personal. Like customer services. Or this woman I've to ring tonight to sort out a job .

It's odd. I loathe the phone too, but my anxiety is with personal calls, not with formal or business calls. I know what I want to say with business calls, and when the business is transacted the call is over. With personal calls, the other person always seems to have a reservoir of things to talk about and I find myself grasping for things to say before long. It's just not a mode of communication I do well with.

 

[Aleksei]

It's probably an introvert thing, though Tawanda's case is probably related to auditory or neurological issues rather than type. you should get that checked out babe.

 

[Totenkindly]

I loathe speaking on the phone. Chatting to friends is fine, but anything remotely official or formal is extremely off-putting. I'd call it a phobia but it's more like an aversion - if I can avoid it I will. For instance, I need to make a phone call this evening but I'm putting it off. I've actually worked out in my head how the dialogue needs to go and gone over it a couple of times. The funny thing is the call itself will only be 60-90 seconds max

I'm much better with it now, but typically I hate the commitment of being on the phone. I rarely talk to my best friends on the phone, I just feel a lot of pressure sometimes when someone calls and don't know how to extract myself. This is accompanied by actually enjoying the phone conversation immensely sometimes and having a really good time... but I know I'm going to lose an hour or two I wasn't prepared to lose unless i feel like I have some rational reason to cut it short. Totally mixed feelings on the topic of phone calls, sigh...

With talking to strangers, I used to have to rehearse the entire phone call a few times so as to not freak from anxiety and not knowing what to say.

 

[xisnotx]

I can relate. So can my sister (ISFP) and my brother (ISTJ).

 

[IZthe411]

Not a type thing. Introvert thing probably. Like Jennifer and someone else mentioned, personal phone calls, especially with a SO really bother me. It's not so much the actual call, but the thought of the call. The call usually ends up being fine. Mind over matter thing I guess.

 

[cascadeco]

It's odd. I loathe the phone too, but my anxiety is with personal calls, not with formal or business calls. I know what I want to say with business calls, and when the business is transacted the call is over. With personal calls, the other person always seems to have a reservoir of things to talk about and I find myself grasping for things to say before long. It's just not a mode of communication I do well with.

Yes, I'm this way with personal calls as well - I rarely talk to my friends on the phone, it's almost exclusively email. Actually the same could be said for my current relationship - we primarily email and I think we've had only 4 or 5 actual conversations on the phone in the span of 6 months. (this doesn't include quick 'I'll be there in 2 minutes' calls) That's more to do with the fact that neither or us really 'need' to talk on the phone - everything can be done via email or else we talk about stuff when we actually get together.

But even with business-related calls, I just don't care for it. I mean, once I'm on the phone, it's fine -- it's just there's quite a bit of anxiety / postponing going into it prior to the call. And yes, to the OP, I will definitely have some sort of script already worked out - or at the least the basic bullet points that I need to address written down or thought of.

 

[IZthe411]

I told the current girl I'm seeing I'd rather text and see you in person than to talk on the phone. I might get a bluetooth so it frees my hands and I can talk while doing other stuff.

 

[kelric]

It's odd. I loathe the phone too, but my anxiety is with personal calls, not with formal or business calls. I know what I want to say with business calls, and when the business is transacted the call is over. With personal calls, the other person always seems to have a reservoir of things to talk about and I find myself grasping for things to say before long. It's just not a mode of communication I do well with.

I'm the same way. Talking on the phone is pretty much completely unnatural for me when it comes to personal interaction. Other than talking to close family (with whom in-person conversations aren't realistic due to distance, etc.), I don't talk on the phone much at all. The phone has the dual negatives of lacking nonverbal cues *and* being "real-time" (where you can't really think out your responses completely ahead of time). It's just not a good platform for interpersonal communication, especially for folks like me who have trouble with that anyway. If there's someone I want to talk to for which there's not another option, it'll do -- but if there are any alternatives, I'd prefer them.

Business calls are better (as there's no expectation of chit-chat), although those horrible robot-answering menu-messager things ("Please listen to all of the available options, as they have recently changed") are simply *vile*. They're basically always configured to not even bother disguising the fact that they just want to frustrate you into giving up instead of getting actual help .

 

[Eckhart]

I hate phones too. Don't know if it is really so much type-related, but at this MBTI workshop where I was once it was said to be very typical for Introverted types. Sadly in this workshop group I was one of only two self-typed I's, but we both were very clearly on the same side on this

Written communication and talking in person is great, but phones are just horrible. Thankfully (or well, maybe not) I don't get too many calls though.

 

[Oeufa]

Well I finally made the call after putting it off for about 5 hours. It was grand, but I still hate using the phone .

 

[Redbone]

Well I finally made the call after putting it off for about 5 hours. It was grand, but I still hate using the phone .

Ha--I just finished taking care of some business, too. Hated it.

As far as the personal calls go, the few people that call know that I'm unlikely to answer the phone and to leave a message or call back immediately if it's an emergency. Talking on the phone just seems so...disengaged. It's hard for me to focus and I often forget important topics or questions that I want to discuss.