Succeed in typing what I couldn't.

[une_autre]

I would like to be able to type this person. He sparked my curiosity.

He is an artist. He draws stuff and is a student at a school of art. He has an outrageously high opinion of himself and in the context of critical views; he deems other people's work as lacking the stroke of talent which he obviously attributes to himself. As well as that, he expects praise for his geniality. In my opinion, he is not at all untalented. But his works of art are spoiled by the way in which he presents them as masterpieces.

Interesting piece of info, that probably wants to hear and also irrelevant to his type, he watches animal porn. However, even against irrefutable proof, he denied the fact, probably he thought that it wouldn't look good on his record with me.

He is extremely pushy and manipulative (I would have said „persuasive”, but then I realized that in no way would this word match the intensity of what he does). He tries to impose his will on others, but only doing so does not content him. He feel the need to make sure that everybody thinks he was right. When refused, he would force people into doing what he feels is right to, even physically (to the extent allowed by the existent social relations).
When confronted with his own flaws and mistakes, he doesn't acknowledge them, but rather tries to convince the opposite party of the fatal errors of their rationale. When I tell him he has a flaw, he asks me if I am joking or not. Explaining him that some aspects of his behaviour bothered me, he, instead, told me that I was weird for thinking that. He considers every type of behaviour that doesn't fit his known patterns to be abnormal.

This guy doesn't know the word "please". Everything he asks for is on an imperative tone. "I WANT to know this. DO that." Also, very direct.

He is awfully messy and has serious difficulties in cleaning after himself. I am talking about dirtiness, not untidiness. For example, leaving beer to grow mould in the living room.

He likes to exercise and being fit is important to him. He is a very visual person.

He is a pretty reserved person and doesn't particularly enjoy attention, rather the contrary. When people started singing to him „Happy Birthday”, he was blushing and tried to stop them at all costs.
Sometimes, it seems to me that he doesn't like to see people in pain. He also seems to be a bit emotional, as his friend told me that he started to cry when thinking about home.

When it comes to relationships, he doesn't settle for a single girl. He hits on everything that has two legs and nothing in between and when I think of him, I instantly think of commitment issues. After a girl rejects him, it stops to exist for him. He doesn't have sense of what is appropriate and what not and his jokes seem offensive for most people. I think this comes from the fact that he is not perceptive at all towards the signals emitted by others, nor does he consider their feelings (should he find out what these are).

His behaviour seems paradoxal to me. And thus, type him where I epically failed.

 

[Xander]

Suggestion, he's not being his type because he's possibly all screwed up under the surface. When "screwed up" (a technical term I think you'll agree) the coping mechanisms are often in direct contradiction to the subjects normal preferences.

Seems to be F though. Not sure why I think that but the pattern kind of smells (or tastes depending on your preference) of F. Something about being embarrassed when people sing for him but perfectly fine announcing that he's the best thing out there.

I'm contemplating INFP because there's lots of ESTJ like characteristics in there and most of them are negative, hence supporting the concept of an INFP who's really, really not happy.

 

[Tyrant]

SLE - Socionics ESTp.

 

[Thursday]

ESTP

 

[redacted]

prolly ESTP, but it sounds like he has some personality disorder

 

[une_autre]

I thought about that however, I feel like we are miles an miles away.
Please explain the reasoning which led you to this conclusion.
Screwed up as he is, I cannot possibly fathom him being an ESTP.

 

[Tyrant]

I thought about that however, I feel like we are miles an miles away.
Please explain the reasoning which led you to this conclusion.
Screwed up as he is, I cannot possibly fathom him being an ESTP.

Being the same type doesn't mean you'll exactly be alike. Maybe you aren't even ESTp.

I'm just working with what you've given us, mind you, so .... yeah. I could be horribly wrong, so I'm just explaining my could-be horrible conclusion.

He tries to impose his will on others, but only doing so does not content him. He feel the need to make sure that everybody thinks he was right. When refused, he would force people into doing what he feels is right to, even physically (to the extent allowed by the existent social relations).

This guy doesn't know the word "please". Everything he asks for is on an imperative tone. "I WANT to know this. DO that." Also, very direct.

Sounds like Se - imposing his will on others, exercising his will in opposition to others, directing others.

Creative Ti - he will not submit to your logic, deeming the problems you have with his behavior and advice unworthy of consideration, and attempts to point how flawed and mistaken you are.

Fi PoLR - not doing what's appropriate, unaware of the signals and feelings emitted by others and simply just not caring to find out, and just seems not to value interpersonal relationships at all. He clearly doesn't value Fi.

 

[Poggle]

ENTP

E
He needs to have other people around if only to dominate them and push them about, so that makes him an E. That he doesn't like it when people embarrass him or push him around (as he would see the happy birthday incident) is not indicative of him being an I, but rather confirms that he has a particular public profile he wishes to maintain for the sake of how others see him - hence an E. The final proof is in the *ahem* erotic material. An I would not find it necessary to maintain this front, only an E, concerned what others think of them, would do this.

N
He is an artist and he thinks that everyone else's work lacks a stroke of talent. Not that everyone else's work is technically lacking but that a certain something is missing, a certain meta quality that is beyond the five senses.

T
The imperative tone. Clearly a very definite (and introverted) thought process has been gone through before he says DO THIS NOW. In his mind he probably not being rude. He assume that everyone is following his logic.

P
The chaos of his living area and the interchangeable girls. Clearly this chap moves from one spontaneous thing to the next with no regard for what has gone before (be they beer bottles or girls). A J would try to keep a few constants going.

This gives us a type dynamic of:

Primary - Extroverted Intuition - "My pictures are masterpieces."
Secondary - Introverted Thinking - "Do this NOW."
Tertiary - (Either) Feeling - showed up as extroverted feeling when he was unhappy at being sung at.
Inferior - Introverted Sensing - Does he read the same book or watch the same film over and over again under extreme stress?

Hope this helps.

Poggle

 

[une_autre]

As I was saying, it's difficult to type him. I'd like to hear more opinions...

 

[Tyrant]

Just to say, he isn't an ENTp - the only two typings he could possibly be from that information is LSI (ISTj) and SLE (ESTp).

 

[Halla74]

Does of any of this apply?

-----------------------------------------------------

CONTROL FREAK CHECKLIST:
The Characteristics of a Control Freak Checklist
FROM: Dealing with a Critic, Control Freak or Verbal Bully? Tongue Fu! |you might want to compare his/her behavior to the following checklist to see how s/he stacks up.

1. Dissonance. Psychologists agree that one of the primary indicators of a troubled person is incongruent behavior. As Dave Barry pointed out, someone who is nice to you and nasty to "the help" is not who he or she seems. Someone who makes racist remarks and then tries to laugh them off is revealing his or her true character (or lack of). Someone who says s/he loves children but seems remote or rigid when around them is displaying dissonance -- defined as "inconsistency between one’s beliefs and one’s actions." What this means is that you cannot take this person at his or her word. Everything they say will be suspect because you won't know when they're telling the truth and when they're not.

2. Possessiveness. Someone who comes on strong and wants (or has!) to be with you constantly is showing a dangerous need to have you all to him or herself. Possessiveness is defined as "a desire to own or dominate." Bullies often don't have many (or any) friends of their own which means they grow to resent your other relationships. Does this person pout or try to make you feel guilty for abandoning him or her when you spend time with others? Does this person want to know all about your previous partners/bosses, and somehow resent the fact that you've been with or worked for someone other than him or her? Bullies are so insecure they see everyone you care for as competition and as a threat to their dominance. This reluctance to share you with others will only get worse and become more perverse.

3. Secrecy. People who don't want to discuss their background and don't want you to meet their family or colleagues may have something to hide. People who refuse to reveal anything about their past are often concealing emotional baggage. What you don't know can hurt you. Someone who doles out self-revelations in small quantities may seem mysterious and alluring in the beginning. In the long run, being with a private person who withholds most of himself or herself gets lonesome.

4. Bitterness. Does this person have a lot of animosity for his or her parents, former spouse, or previous managers? Please understand you will be reliving and working out the unresolved traumas of this individual's childhood and prior work relationships. You've heard the Zen saying, "Wherever you go, there you are?" This person hasn't yet figured out that his or her source of bitterness is internal, not external. If this individual is lugging around deep-seated resentments, it is only a matter of time before s/he starts accusing you of the same "crimes" former significant others supposedly perpetrated upon him or her.

5. Twists words. Does this person take what you say and turn it into something you didn't mean? Do you sometimes feel on the defensive and don't even know why? Does this person obfuscate - make confusing statements and then accuse you of misunderstanding? Bullies often make commitments and then claim they never made them in the first place. This is a crazy-making ploy designed to turn you inside-out so you don't know what's up.

6. Holds you responsible for their unhappiness. Does this person blame you for his or her bad moods? If they're sad, it's because you didn't ask about their day? If they're depressed, it's because you don't take them anywhere anymore? If they're angry, it's because you said something that provoked them? There will be no pleasing this kind of person. They essentially haven't grown up, and never will as long as they continue holding everyone else but themselves accountable for how they feel.

7. Perfectionist. Does this person nit-pick? Does he or she have such high standards no one ever measures up? Does this individual have to do things himself because anyone else would just "mess it up"? If you're still in the honeymoon or courting phase, you may be temporarily exempt from this person's unceasing criticism. In time though, their insistence on things being done a certain way (their way) will transfer to you and then you'll never be able to do anything right. Jimmy Hoffa once said, "I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them." Tyrants won't admit to any faults, least of all being wrong.

8. Pinpoints your weakness and uses them against you. Tyrants have a talent for ferreting out your emotional Achilles Heel and hobbling you with it. If you don't want to be considered selfish, they'll call you selfish. If you don't want to be perceived as controlling, they'll accuse you of being controlling. If you're unsure of your parenting skills, they'll attack your parenting skills. This is a classical Machiavellian method of exploiting your weakness so you're impotent (lacking power or strength) and they're omnipotent (having unlimited influence or authority.) Their goal is to make you doubt yourself so you're vulnerable to their attempts to own you.

9. Plays martyr. Does he or she try to lay on the guilt trip by saying things like, "Go ahead and go skiing with your friends. I don't mind. I mean, who wants to spend time with an old fogie like me anyway? I'm sure I'll find something to do." Does this person play the long-suffering individual who's unappreciated? Is it a common theme that s/he is the only one holding the office together and everyone else is frivolous, hedonistic, incompetent, or selfish?

10. Hates to have authority questioned. Does this person take umbrage if you dare dispute his or her facts or opinions? Does s/he come across as a "know-it-all" who has to have all the answers? Bullies can't stand to be challenged because they're afraid their "power-house of cards" could come falling down. Their "my way or the highway" communication style is based on their need to be in control and beyond reproach.

If you disagree with this person, does he or she escalate their intensity in an effort to force you to concede? If so, it means that every conversation is going to turn into a verbal battleground. It means this person will start disparaging your intelligence, expertise, and experience so you no longer know what you know and won't have the intellectual confidence to challenge them.

11: Lies, Lies, Lies: Mark Twain once commented that "Truth is more of a stranger than fiction." Does that description fit the person you're dealing with? Does he or she self-aggrandize and exaggerate his or her achievements? In order to win respect, bullies often claim to have been to places they've never been, boast of knowing people they've never met, and excel at things they've never tried.

In the mid 1970's, I had the privilege of working with Grand-Slam tennis champion Rod Laver at his Hilton Head Island resort. A couple times a year we sponsored national tennis camps. Every once in awhile, someone would blow in and we would sense that we were able to deal with a type of individual the Aussies playfully refer to as "all flap and no throttle." These "blowhards" always talked a bigger game than they delivered.

Does the person you're dealing with display "blowhard" tendencies? Does he or she wax eloquently (or not so eloquently) about past accomplishments? Did this individual somehow manage in the first few minutes of meeting you to let you know how much money he made, what degrees she had, or what awards he's won? Was she so intent on impressing you with her curriculum vitae that she failed to ask about yours? Watch out. Red alert. Bully on the loose.

Is This Person Hyper-Critical?
"A critic is someone who's at his best when you're at your worst." -Tony Pelleto

Verbal bullies do their best to make you feel worse. Are you thinking, "Well, my partner, co-worker, in-law or boss does some of these things some of the time, but so do I! After all, no one is perfect."

I'd kick his arse if I were you.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

fantastic post Halla!

 

[une_autre]

Now that I come to think of it, he does exhibit many symptoms of being a control freak.

You know, I have actually developed a suspicion that he might in fact be a J.

 

[Tyrant]

Control freak =/= Being J.

Try typing people by functions.

 

[EcK]

loser? That's a type right?!