smashing people in the mis shaped holes?

[prplchknz]

why do we do this? like why does everyone have to fit into this box? why is it that if you say you have no opinion on certain things, people can't grasp that? why can't i wear socks with sandles? why do i have to match? why can't i wear pajamas out? they're covering everything.

 

[LadyLazarus]

oh my God I was so mislead by that title...

Anyways...it's because it is easier to control people when they are docile,by making them feel being different makes them faulty,and how do we do that?By imposing useless codes of conduct and expectations on the general public of course.

 

[á´…eparted]

Boxes are useful. It allows us to draw patterns, condense information, and save time. It's quite hard to create a perfect system because there will always be satistical outliers.

 

[five sounds]

you can wear socks with sandals or wear pajamas out or do whatever the F you want. resist the hole-smash.

 

[skylights]

[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION]'s on track. Because it's easier to think about when everything's the same. Requires less cognition. It's not that people desire everyone to be the same for some malicious reason. It's just easier to understand and work with, so we try to cut those corners so we can attend to other, more pleasing things. You having an opinion on something means the other person doesn't have to do all the work or bear all the responsibility for a decision, and so on. Most of the time it's not personal... it's just people trying to maximize their time and energy. Being open and friendly about whatever unconventional thing you decide to do helps smooth things a lot.

 

[prplchknz]

oh my God I was so mislead by that title...

Anyways...it's because it is easier to control people when they are docile,by making them feel being different makes them faulty,and how do we do that?By imposing useless codes of conduct and expectations on the general public of course.

makes sense, always suspected this

Boxes are useful. It allows us to draw patterns, condense information, and save time. It's quite hard to create a perfect system because there will always be satistical outliers.

So basically they do this because they want things simple? so why am I expected to dress a certain way? I mean how does the way I dress affect anyone else?

you can wear socks with sandals or wear pajamas out or do whatever the F you want. resist the hole-smash.

I already do.

[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION]'s on track. Because it's easier to think about when everything's the same. Requires less cognition. It's not that people desire everyone to be the same for some malicious reason. It's just easier to understand and work with, so we try to cut those corners so we can attend to other, more pleasing things. You having an opinion on something means the other person doesn't have to do all the work or bear all the responsibility for a decision, and so on. Most of the time it's not personal... it's just people trying to maximize their time and energy. Being open and friendly about whatever unconventional thing you decide to do helps smooth things a lot.

what if it's about religion? like why do i need an opinion on that?

 

[skylights]

what if it's about religion? like why do i need an opinion on that?

Same deal pretty much I think. If you conform to someone else's worldview, they don't have to work to integrate your values and perspectives with their own. It's just easier for them if you agree. But ultimately it could be very good for them if you don't, and force them to expand their mind...

I guess in short I feel like people are well-intentioned but stressed by lack of resources, which makes them try to make life as easy as possible. One way of doing that is to encourage or expect people to agree and conform to one's own way of doing things. It's not a very healthy way, though. Encouraging community, sharing, and mutual support is good but limitation and ostracization are not. So do your own thing, and try to help people understand it if you can. If you can't, they're just going to have to come to terms with it on their own, even if they're reluctant.

 

[prplchknz]

Same deal pretty much I think. If you conform to someone else's worldview, they don't have to work to integrate your values and perspectives with their own. It's just easier for them if you agree. But ultimately it could be very good for them if you don't, and force them to expand their mind...

I guess in short I feel like people are well-intentioned but stressed by lack of resources, which makes them try to make life as easy as possible. One way of doing that is to encourage or expect people to agree and conform to one's own way of doing things. It's not a very healthy way, though. Encouraging community, sharing, and mutual support is good but limitation and ostracization are not. So do your own thing, and try to help people understand it if you can. If you can't, they're just going to have to come to terms with it on their own, even if they're reluctant.

but I mean i don't care if you're religious or you're not, like to me as long as you're a good person that's all that really matters.

so wait! I have to assimilate?

 

[Avocado]

Same deal pretty much I think. If you conform to someone else's worldview, they don't have to work to integrate your values and perspectives with their own. It's just easier for them if you agree. But ultimately it could be very good for them if you don't, and force them to expand their mind...

I guess in short I feel like people are well-intentioned but stressed by lack of resources, which makes them try to make life as easy as possible. One way of doing that is to encourage or expect people to agree and conform to one's own way of doing things. It's not a very healthy way, though. Encouraging community, sharing, and mutual support is good but limitation and ostracization are not. So do your own thing, and try to help people understand it if you can. If you can't, they're just going to have to come to terms with it on their own, even if they're reluctant.

This is what I try to tell my mother, but she doesn't understand...

 

[skylights]

but I mean i don't care if you're religious or you're not, like to me as long as you're a good person that's all that really matters.

Sure, not everyone will struggle to the same extent with this problem and some people will struggle more in certain areas. It's awesome that you're open and accepting and have put individual conscious thought into your personal morals. You probably have an easy time taking people as they come and not trying to force them to be something they're not comfortable with. It's a great native talent to have.

so wait! I have to assimilate?

Not at all. It's probably healthier for everyone if you don't assimilate. But it can help other people stop trying to force you into their views if you try to help them understand where you're coming from and why you're doing what you're doing. Sometimes they just won't get it, though, and ultimately it's not your responsibility to explain it to them.

In other words... help the world be more accepting of the shape of your peg

 

[skylights]

This is what I try to tell my mother, but she doesn't understand...

Hopefully time and love will help.

 

[prplchknz]

Sure, not everyone will struggle to the same extent with this problem and some people will struggle more in certain areas. It's awesome that you're open and accepting and have put individual conscious thought into your personal morals. You probably have an easy time taking people as they come and not trying to force them to be something they're not comfortable with. It's a great native talent to have.

I am good at taking people as the come. except when they're being untrue to themselves, and that pisses me off. because I feel like they're trying to get me to like them, and that makes me hate them.

Not at all. It's probably healthier for everyone if you don't assimilate. But it can help other people stop trying to force you into their views if you try to help them understand where you're coming from and why you're doing what you're doing. Sometimes they just won't get it, though, and ultimately it's not your responsibility to explain it to them.

In other words... help the world be more accepting of the shape of your peg

I'm terrible explaining why am the way I am, and sometimes I don't want to spend the energy doing so. I just don't get why people can't be more accepting.

 

[Avocado]

Hopefully time and love will help.

I hope so, but I wouldn't count on it...

She is ESTJ, and I hate how ruthless she can be at times ''getting things done.'' She says she will disown me if I don't accept the Jehovah's Witness doctrine, but I see the doctrine as the closest thing to pure evil that I have personally had experience with. The leaders of the JW's also has a questionable record, and I don't want to follow a group of men who act like they do. I also doubt that the doctrine is even true, since it changes every couple of years when the members of the governing body dictate so.

 

[Mole]

Boxes are useful. It allows us to draw patterns, condense information, and save time. It's quite hard to create a perfect system because there will always be satistical outliers.

Yes, we fall under the Bell Curve which means almost all of us fall in the middle and few fall at either end.

And those who fall at either end are socially excluded. And social exclusion is immediately emotionally painful and does long term emotional damage.

 

[skylights]

I hope so, but I wouldn't count on it...

She is ESTJ, and I hate how ruthless she can be at times ''getting things done.'' She says she will disown me if I don't accept the Jehovah's Witness doctrine, but I see the doctrine as the closest thing to pure evil that I have personally had experience with. The leaders of the JW's also has a questionable record, and I don't want to follow a group of men who act like they do. I also doubt that the doctrine is even true, since it changes every couple of years when the members of the governing body dictate so.

A rock and a hard place.