[MBTI General] SJ - INFP

[tkae.]

Hey guys :hi:

I was just curious about how the various SJ types felt about INFPs in particular.

I guess it came about from me noticing that two SJ types were interested in INFJs and ENFPs, but INFPs aren't seeing any of the love

So...

Do you like us as people?
Do you like us as friends?
Do you like us as lovers?

Or do you want to stab us to death and dump our bodies in the desert?

And of those things, why do you feel that way?

EDIT: Also, feel free to share personal experiences you've had with INFPs, or just talk about the type in general and not INFP individuals specifically It's whatever you're comfortable with sharing!

 

[Donna Cecilia]

Hello! Welcome to the forum.

I don´t base my personal relationships on the MBTI, or any other typing system.

I can like people of any type. As friends, lovers, family members, enemies, whatever.

 

[tkae.]

Hello! Welcome to the forum.

I don´t base my personal relationships on the MBTI, or any other typing system.

I can like people of any type. As friends, lovers, family members, enemies, whatever.

Fair enough

Then what do you think of INFP as described in its type analysis?

 

[strychnine]

My dad is an xNFP and I think he is awesome. I get along with him better than I do with my ESFJ mother!

 

[Donna Cecilia]

They have a flexibility and a genuine interest for people that (sometimes) I wish I had.

The only problem I have when dealing with INFPs I know, is to bring them back to ground when they start going too far when talking about ideas and thoughts about things which don´t seem to fit in the actual situation, or that I can´t find useful to solve a particular issue.

I am very blunt myself, and I have hurt their sensitivities while doing what I mentioned above. That is the main source of my misunderstandings with INFPs.

 

[tkae.]

My dad is an xNFP and I think he is awesome. I get along with him better than I do with my ESFJ mother!

My mom is an ESFJ (she was an ISFJ as a child, and draws a lot of her past experiences in to help me with problems), so I kind of know what you mean!

She's the most important person in my life. We're like peanut butter and chocolate lol

They have a flexibility and a genuine interest for people that (sometimes) I wish I had.

The only problem I have when dealing with INFPs I know, is to bring them back to ground when they start going too far when talking about ideas and thoughts about things which don´t seem to fit in the actual situation, or that I can´t find useful to solve a particular situation.

I am very blunt myself, and I have hurt their sensitivities while doing what I mentioned above. That is the main source of my misunderstandings with INFPs.

Yeah, I can understand that

It's good that you're aware of it though. Any type with a potential for bluntness makes me a bit apprehensive, because I'm not sure if they, as an individual, are aware of how their bluntness could affect me as an INFP.

It's nice to meet someone with that amount of self-awareness

 

[Donna Cecilia]

Nice to meet you too.

 

[Saslou]

Hey guys :hi:

I was just curious about how the various SJ types felt about INFPs in particular.

I guess it came about from me noticing that two SJ types were interested in INFJs and ENFPs, but INFPs aren't seeing any of the love

So...

Do you like us as people?
Do you like us as friends?
Do you like us as lovers?

Or do you want to stab us to death and dump our bodies in the desert?

And of those things, why do you feel that way?

EDIT: Also, feel free to share personal experiences you've had with INFPs, or just talk about the type in general and not INFP individuals specifically It's whatever you're comfortable with sharing!

Hello darling.

I've just been agreeing with you in another thread .. Should of gave you rep .. My bad

I have a lot of love for you guys .. My ex was an INFP and i'm now at the point where i can look back and smile and not feel sad .. Yayyyyy.

I love you guys as people .. The healthy one's anyway

I don't have any INFP friends

Lovers .. depends on the healthy/unhealthy issue again .. A bloody mess if unhealthy, however if healthy/open to communication/emotional secure .. Then i think we do just fine.

The Fi is the biggest issue for me .. If people talk then things can be worked out. I don't enjoy mind reading and i know when things are wrong.

I do pay attention to the conversations on here about INFP/ESFJ and watching the chat between 2 people .. I wouldn't be able to understand you at your core .. Or something like that .. Maybe it's about the intuition .. Find yourself an INFJ, they may just rock your world

 

[Giggly]

I don't know any irl to comment but I'd love to meet some.

 

[swordpath]

I know quite a few INFP's and all of them whom I've known to be INFP for sure, I have liked as people. I've never had a romantic interest in an INFP though (most of the ones I know are dudes). But that's not to say I couldn't find an INFP that I dig romantically.

 

[tinker683]

Afraid I don't know anyone I could classify as an INFP. You seem like really nice people though so I could see myself really liking all of you guys and gals

 

[tkae.]

Hello darling.

I've just been agreeing with you in another thread .. Should of gave you rep .. My bad

I have a lot of love for you guys .. My ex was an INFP and i'm now at the point where i can look back and smile and not feel sad .. Yayyyyy.

I love you guys as people .. The healthy one's anyway

I don't have any INFP friends

Lovers .. depends on the healthy/unhealthy issue again .. A bloody mess if unhealthy, however if healthy/open to communication/emotional secure .. Then i think we do just fine.

The Fi is the biggest issue for me .. If people talk then things can be worked out. I don't enjoy mind reading and i know when things are wrong.

I do pay attention to the conversations on here about INFP/ESFJ and watching the chat between 2 people .. I wouldn't be able to understand you at your core .. Or something like that .. Maybe it's about the intuition .. Find yourself an INFJ, they may just rock your world

Awww, don't worry about repping me! Remembering me is more than good enough

I almost can't think of any INFP that are emotionally secure lol

I do know what you mean though. Unhealthy INFPs (or even healthy ones that are under a lot of stress) can be nuclear bombs with a faulty detonator

I'm almost not surprised that you don't have any INFP friends. A lot of non-NF types complain about how they can never find INFPs even when they're looking for them. NTs probably have the easiest type of non-NFs. But what's weird is that once I've started pushing my friends to take the test, I've found that a good 90% of them are NFs, with about 75% being INFP. The others are usually INFJ, and then one is an ENFP.

It's almost like we manage to find each other against all odds lol

Sometimes I wonder if we're not really as rare as people say we are, but then I read threads about people saying they want to meet one and can't find any, so...

Idk lol

At times I think my tendency to bottle up my feelings is because of low self-worth. I try to keep discussion about emotions relevant, and it's usually about things I notice wrong with my partner/friend ("You seem tired," "Are you okay?" "What's wrong?" "You seem like you don't feel good," etc.) But then if I'm tired or something's wrong or I don't feel good, I just smile when they ask and say that nothing's wrong lol

My mom's an ESFJ though, so I've learned that communication about things in relationships is absolutely vital. So if it's bothering me and is affecting a relationship, I'll bring it up, but if I think it's just a personal problem that I think is only affecting me, then I won't talk about it, usually because I think it's not worth bothering other people with

I'm very bad about it, too lol

Not even the sharpest of NT is truly able to understand the INFP core, so don't feel bad! I've spent some time over on the INTJ forum, and that's always something every INTJ that's interested in INFPs asks about: how do I get to their core? Because apparently we're like this puzzle, and their intuition has them trying to solve it. But the huge trick to the puzzle that I have to explain to them is that it's not like solving a math problem. With a math problem, you can keep plugging away at the numbers and spend as much time as you want digging deeper and deeper towards the solution.

But with INFPs, we're very much like clams. You can spend months trying to find the first little breakthrough and get us to open our shells a little bit, and as soon as you get a little peek inside and think you've gotten somewhere, we snap shut.

So the trick to getting close to an INFP is to make a whole lot of tiny progresses, instead of figuring out one big trick. We're very protective of our inner, emotional core, and skipping even a single step in the process is automatic failure.

So it's possible for any type to do it, but it's a very complicated process lol

ESFJs just seem to do it naturally though. We have our definite differences, and discussions can get really heated when their Si irritates our Fi (usually when they try to profess the traditional "this is the normal way" sort of thing when our Fi things that the traditional isn't sensitive enough to other people). But my mom's an ESFJ, and she's the most important thing to me in the entire world. I could lose everything, and as long as I had her I could keep going

If I lost her, though, and I don't know if I could survive

I don't know any irl to comment but I'd love to meet some.

I know quite a few INFP's and all of them whom I've known to be INFP for sure, I have liked as people. I've never had a romantic interest in an INFP though (most of the ones I know are dudes). But that's not to say I couldn't find an INFP that I dig romantically.

Afraid I don't know anyone I could classify as an INFP. You seem like really nice people though so I could see myself really liking all of you guys and gals

Thanks, you guys are really sweet

 

[Vika]

Sorry I'm not an SJ, but maybe I can share something that might be helpful... I've been seeing an ISTJ for about 3 months now, we've been getting along really well so far.

We seem to just click and agree on so much. He likes my creative/artistic side and the fact that I'm so caring/sweet. He tells me he really enjoys my company, "having me around". He likes when I open up, just talk randomly, I occasionally have those moments, but I notice the more time I spend with him the easier it is to let my guard down and ramble on about anything ;] He is rather "I'm right, everyone else is wrong" at times, but lucky, I happen to agree with the things he feels so strongly about so far.

It also helps that I've read so much about ISTJs so I understand his behavior. And even though I am sensitive and tend to take things personally, I've learned to pause and realize he is usually just trying to "improve" things, trying to be helpful.

One thing that irritates him, is when I joke or troll something hes serious about.

 

[Saslou]

Awww, don't worry about repping me! Remembering me is more than good enough

.. Remembering someone is the easy part. Forgetting them is a little harder, lol

I almost can't think of any INFP that are emotionally secure lol

What a travesty

I do know what you mean though. Unhealthy INFPs (or even healthy ones that are under a lot of stress) can be nuclear bombs with a faulty detonator

I'm almost not surprised that you don't have any INFP friends. A lot of non-NF types complain about how they can never find INFPs even when they're looking for them. NTs probably have the easiest type of non-NFs. But what's weird is that once I've started pushing my friends to take the test, I've found that a good 90% of them are NFs, with about 75% being INFP. The others are usually INFJ, and then one is an ENFP.

It's almost like we manage to find each other against all odds lol

Sometimes I wonder if we're not really as rare as people say we are, but then I read threads about people saying they want to meet one and can't find any, so...

After giving this some thought .. I think one of my colleagues may possibly be an INFP .. She's quirky and zany and mystical yet in tune if that makes sense .. And although a quiet person, she had my back on Friday as we both understand justice.

I don't know .. I think people can type themselves as they would like to be as opposed to what they are .. I think deep down we are all idealistic to some extent.

At times I think my tendency to bottle up my feelings is because of low self-worth. I try to keep discussion about emotions relevant, and it's usually about things I notice wrong with my partner/friend ("You seem tired," "Are you okay?" "What's wrong?" "You seem like you don't feel good," etc.) But then if I'm tired or something's wrong or I don't feel good, I just smile when they ask and say that nothing's wrong lol

Help me understand .. Why the low self worth? You have the potential to shine like every other star yet don't give yourself enough credit thus you limit your own potential .. That's a shame.

I am not saying you need to behave egotistical but find a balance at least to strive.

There are no guarantees in life but the possibilities are endless .. Oh, i think i'll make this my new signature, lol.

Why the double standard?? .. You can be there for other people but they can't be there for you when you are low for whatever reason .. People pick up when others are low, their friendship is important so don't dismiss a friend please .. It shows they care

My mom's an ESFJ though, so I've learned that communication about things in relationships is absolutely vital. So if it's bothering me and is affecting a relationship, I'll bring it up, but if I think it's just a personal problem that I think is only affecting me, then I won't talk about it, usually because I think it's not worth bothering other people with

Other people may want to be bothered .. That's what working as a team is all about

Not even the sharpest of NT is truly able to understand the INFP core, so don't feel bad! I've spent some time over on the INTJ forum, and that's always something every INTJ that's interested in INFPs asks about: how do I get to their core? Because apparently we're like this puzzle, and their intuition has them trying to solve it. But the huge trick to the puzzle that I have to explain to them is that it's not like solving a math problem. With a math problem, you can keep plugging away at the numbers and spend as much time as you want digging deeper and deeper towards the solution.

Least i'm not the only one, lol

But with INFPs, we're very much like clams. You can spend months trying to find the first little breakthrough and get us to open our shells a little bit, and as soon as you get a little peek inside and think you've gotten somewhere, we snap shut.

So the trick to getting close to an INFP is to make a whole lot of tiny progresses, instead of figuring out one big trick. We're very protective of our inner, emotional core, and skipping even a single step in the process is automatic failure.

So it's possible for any type to do it, but it's a very complicated process lol

Do you realise though how frustrating that can be .. I'm aware i clam up sometimes as i don't want to bother other people with what i believe is just silly nonesense but to get a peek then to shut off can be seen as an insult.

But isn't being in a deep and meaningful relationship supposed to open you up to vulnerability? Why do you seem to hide this part of yourself? You're only human (i could actually be writing this to myself, lol. Something else for me to learn)

ESFJs just seem to do it naturally though. We have our definite differences, and discussions can get really heated when their Si irritates our Fi (usually when they try to profess the traditional "this is the normal way" sort of thing when our Fi things that the traditional isn't sensitive enough to other people). But my mom's an ESFJ, and she's the most important thing to me in the entire world. I could lose everything, and as long as I had her I could keep going

If I lost her, though, and I don't know if I could survive

There is no normal way, only ones perception of what is normal and that is always open to debate

It's nice to hear you have such a good relationship with your mother and you would survive without her as although she wouldn't be around in person, in spirit she'll never leave you for you are her and her you

 

[uberrogo]

I like probably any I-type because if anything else they will keep their mouths shut.

 

[Cimarron]

I haven't known any sure INFPs in my life, either. Some "possible INFPs," though. They seem weird but cute, in a good way.