[ENFJ] Show ENFJ some love

[Littlelostnf]

My ENFJ is the most kind, warm and stubbornly loving man I have ever met. I'm not a deep feeling sharer and when things got hard I use to push everyone away with...Go away, I'll deal with it. He never bought this (stubborn) and insisted I communicate the feelings and thoughts I had that effected us, but still respected and understood my need for space and privacy.

Bigger still, I never trusted anyone. At all. Ever. He gave me the ability to do so, even if it's only he that I trust. Completely dependable and responsible and when I need something, I only have to ask. Even though that in itself is SO hard for me...he understands that and still encourages me. I won't say it's easy now but easier.

He's a leader in his career. Confident. Logical and rational. He always goes the extra mile for his clients and coworkers but never to the point of sacrificing us or the kids. He's a wonderful teacher and happily instructs anyone in his life who needs it, professionally and personally.

Yeah I could wax on all day about him because it's all true. He's not without fault though. He has high expectations of the people he cares about. He can get offended by things I say and do because they appear cold to him, but he isn't afraid to tell me I am full of shit when I am. All things considered, he's pretty amazing and the fact that he never said...you're so weird, I don't think this will work...blows my mind. Every single day, I am thankful he's in my life.

Wow!

 

[The Third Rider]

My ENFJ is the most kind, warm and stubbornly loving man I have ever met. I'm not a deep feeling sharer and when things got hard I use to push everyone away with...Go away, I'll deal with it. He never bought this (stubborn) and insisted I communicate the feelings and thoughts I had that effected us, but still respected and understood my need for space and privacy.

Bigger still, I never trusted anyone. At all. Ever. He gave me the ability to do so, even if it's only he that I trust. Completely dependable and responsible and when I need something, I only have to ask. Even though that in itself is SO hard for me...he understands that and still encourages me. I won't say it's easy now but easier.

He's a leader in his career. Confident. Logical and rational. He always goes the extra mile for his clients and coworkers but never to the point of sacrificing us or the kids. He's a wonderful teacher and happily instructs anyone in his life who needs it, professionally and personally.

Yeah I could wax on all day about him because it's all true. He's not without fault though. He has high expectations of the people he cares about. He can get offended by things I say and do because they appear cold to him, but he isn't afraid to tell me I am full of shit when I am. All things considered, he's pretty amazing and the fact that he never said...you're so weird, I don't think this will work...blows my mind. Every single day, I am thankful he's in my life.

Thats high paise. I am glad you found a good man in your life.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I really enjoyed Jennifers post and all of the other positive responses. I think Ceecees post should be titled "how to bag an ENFJ". I hope you let your ENFJ honey read that! I've gotten letters like that (which MBTI almost ruined for me) despite what seems like the truest heartfelt sincerity but I didn't let it! Expressing those things to me genuinely usually ends up with me giving the "I'm-totally-ready-to-rip-your-clothes-off" look!

 

[ceecee]

I really enjoyed Jennifers post and all of the other positive responses. I think Ceecees post should be titled "how to bag an ENFJ". I hope you let your ENFJ honey read that! I've gotten letters like that (which MBTI almost ruined for me) despite what seems like the truest heartfelt sincerity but I didn't let it! Expressing those things to me genuinely usually ends up with me giving the "I'm-totally-ready-to-rip-your-clothes-off" look!

I'm laughing because I emailed it to him. He said..thank you. But I know this is all because you want a ride on the Craig machine don't you?

Being together for 5+ years..there isn't much I can hide anymore. But I meant everything I said and he knows it. However, if it helps me get some..go me!!

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I usually don't get all conversational in threads but...^^Right on!^^

It's good to hear that there are other ENFJs out there who have a slight touch of playful vanity and a mind that leads straight to the gutter! He deserves a high five for that comeback!! Great Job Craig!

However, if it helps me get some..go me!!

 

[Domino]

ENFJ love up in here. Thanks, you guys. We needed some patting.

Man. I miss the good stuff lately. Stupid slow dial-up. Stupid body pain.

And for the record. I puzzle myself frequently. Just last night, I was in a dark mood and Jaye was patting my head, saying, "Feral little animal. Good heavens."

 

[Jae Rae]

ENFJs sound wonderful. I just wish I knew some IRL.

Jae Rae

 

[swordpath]

ENFJs/Ps

 

[Littlelostnf]

Ummm let's focus on ENFJ's please ^
The Hate an ENFJ page is 24 or so pages long...can we at least
get to four pages here! ha!

 

[Domino]

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I must have said something that struck her funny because my sister said, "Don't you use your Jim Jones voice on me!...You know. It's a good thing you weren't raised alone. You'd probably be evil."

Ahahahah! Silly cult leader moment of mirth! She'll see she was wrong when I build my fortress in Paraguay and assign her potato duty. Potatoes = Irish people = Riverdance = Pink's not a cult leader! See how that works!

 

[Littlelostnf]

I find something about this thread really interesting. The Hate an ENFJ thread is 24 pages long and filled with people's experiences of nasty, evil ENFJ's...the Love an ENFJ thread is 3 pages long and most of the responses are responding to the few who wrote about something they loved about an ENFJ. I think that most people here don't actually know as many ENFJ's as they claim to know. I know how many people in my life have tested as ENFJ's and aren't and found that out in true test (MTBI or retesting). It seems to me that this thread is more reflective of the true amount of ENFJ's around....not many... The one ENFJ I know in real life is also the most laid back extrovert ever. People are her priority without thought of any recognition given to herself for all she does. Always it's..."well sure of course I will..never a "what's in it for me...."

 

[spirilis]

I seriously don't know many, possibly any, IRL at the moment. The closest thing I can think of to an ENFJ is a guy I know at work, and he might be ESFJ but I haven't thought about it too much. As a plus to him either way, he does a spectacular job at project management by accommodating others' needs and schedules (but developing project schedules in a give-and-take negotiation manner), pulling in random contacts he knows from past workplaces (he seems to be very well connected, and makes it a point to get to know people at his workplace and develop a very positive working relationship with them--and maintain it), and making himself available by whatever means necessary--email, AIM, etc. His willingness to take follow-up tasks off our hands, whenever we need to ask someone else (ie. in another department or even another building) information that is key to the project at hand really allows us to streamline our day-to-day workflow. I sometimes worry that he takes on too much though, so I always make a point to be accommodating to him when he needs something.

 

[Littlelostnf]

I seriously don't know many, possibly any, IRL at the moment. The closest thing I can think of to an ENFJ is a guy I know at work, and he might be ESFJ but I haven't thought about it too much. As a plus to him either way, he does a spectacular job at project management by accommodating others' needs and schedules (but developing project schedules in a give-and-take negotiation manner), pulling in random contacts he knows from past workplaces (he seems to be very well connected, and makes it a point to get to know people at his workplace and develop a very positive working relationship with them--and maintain it), and making himself available by whatever means necessary--email, AIM, etc. His willingness to take follow-up tasks off our hands, whenever we need to ask someone else (ie. in another department or even another building) information that is key to the project at hand really allows us to streamline our day-to-day workflow. I sometimes worry that he takes on too much though, so I always make a point to be accommodating to him when he needs something.

I'm quite positive he thanks you for that...if you get that thanks in an appropriate card or a straightforward thank you email...I'd think he was an ESFJ...if you get a smile like...hey you rock thanks (without the words) he's prob an ENFJ. I try very hard to actually thank people for kindnesses bestowed..especially because I really do thank them..but lots of times it's in my mind and I feel like they have to know how I feel...and I treat them (when I'm with them) like the words in my thank you card in my mind. (did that make any sense)...regardless it's what I wanted to say.

 

[Domino]

I find something about this thread really interesting. The Hate an ENFJ thread is 24 pages long and filled with people's experiences of nasty, evil ENFJ's...the Love an ENFJ thread is 3 pages long and most of the responses are responding to the few who wrote about something they loved about an ENFJ. I think that most people here don't actually know as many ENFJ's as they claim to know. I know how many people in my life have tested as ENFJ's and aren't and found that out in true test (MTBI or retesting). It seems to me that this thread is more reflective of the true amount of ENFJ's around....not many... The one ENFJ I know in real life is also the most laid back extrovert ever. People are her priority without thought of any recognition given to herself for all she does. Always it's..."well sure of course I will..never a "what's in it for me...."

I know only two other ENFJs, and we were completely stunned to meet each other. One is a friend I've had for years (and is the ONLY male ENFJ of my acquaintance) and the other is a woman who worked with my mother (when we met we just sat there staring at each other in amazement until she finally blurted, "It's not just me anymore!"). I think the guys may be more dramatic than the girls. My mom's co-worker is a very chill lady.

I have yet to find another ENFP irl. My twin is the only one I know. All others are Introverts.

 

[Littlelostnf]

I know only two other ENFJs, and we were completely stunned to meet each other. One is a friend I've had for years (and is the ONLY male ENFJ of my acquaintance) and the other is a woman who worked with my mother (when we met we just sat there staring at each other in amazement until she finally blurted, "It's not just me anymore!"). I think the guys may be more dramatic than the girls. My mom's co-worker is a very chill lady.

I have yet to find another ENFP irl. My twin is the only one I know. All others are Introverts.

Funny because I have in my life at the present moment...

4 ENFP females that are close long time friends (one is a cousin) 2 ENFP males that are also close long time friends, 3 female and 1 male INFP all long time friends and one INFJ (a cousin) The ENFPs in my life are many...besides my relatives when I met my other NF friends it was just as you said...we just knew there was something there. I'm still looking for more ENFJ's I just can't seem to find any...

ps: Im doing housework and just finished listening to India Arie who I'm sure is an ENFP and now I'm listening to Alana Davis who I'm also quite sure is an ENFP having met her and spoken to her in real life.....it's just an NF day for me (besides the housework)

 

[Domino]

Funny because I have in my life at the present moment...

4 ENFP females that are close long time friends (one is a cousin) 2 ENFP males that are also close long time friends, 3 female and 1 male INFP all long time friends and one INFJ (a cousin) The ENFPs in my life are many...besides my relatives when I met my other NF friends it was just as you said...we just knew there was something there.

Man! You've got NFs like we have NTs (and stray cats heh...)!

I'm still looking for more ENFJ's I just can't seem to find any...

Dittoez. Wunner where we all be at?

ps: Im doing housework and just finished listening to India Arie who I'm sure is an ENFP and now I'm listening to Alana Davis who I'm also quite sure is an ENFP having met her and spoken to her in real life.....it's just an NF day for me (besides the housework)

Well, I guess I'll just have to settle on sis's ENFPness til we find another. She's enough to handle at any rate! Always hugging me and making funny observations and making me go brush my hair.

 

[Littlelostnf]

Man! You've got NFs like we have NTs (and stray cats heh...)!

Yup and we be struttin' [/COLOR]


Dittoez. Wunner where we all be at?

We must be the lazy ones with nothing to do but hang out online...I find we're the least represented online...all the other ENFJ's are out being SuperNF's and saving the world..or trying to! I'm doing dishes trying to think of my superhero name...and deciding if it I go outlandish and have D&G design my outfit or go classic Calvin Klein....


Well, I guess I'll just have to settle on sis's ENFPness til we find another. She's enough to handle at any rate! Always hugging me and making funny observations and making me go brush my hair.

Is her lack of hugging a way you know she's pissed with you..my ENFP friends are huggers also

 

[ceecee]

It seems to me that this thread is more reflective of the true amount of ENFJ's around....not many... The one ENFJ I know in real life is also the most laid back extrovert ever. People are her priority without thought of any recognition given to herself for all she does. Always it's..."well sure of course I will..never a "what's in it for me...."

I only know of my ENFJ and he is just like the person you described. Laid back extrovert. He gets it done and that's a priority. I can't tell you how many times he's driven from here to Madison or Milwaukee because of big work crisis' that needs attention right now and they only want him, after a full day of work. Or driven back to make it home in time to coach the girl's soccer team that evening. This week it's Madison then New Jersey to teach a class at home office so he won't be back until Friday. Fortunately this isn't constantly going on but it's part of his job. I never hear him complain about it, ever.

 

[Littlelostnf]

I only know of my ENFJ and he is just like the person you described. Laid back extrovert. He gets it done and that's a priority. I can't tell you how many times he's driven from here to Madison or Milwaukee because of big work crisis' that needs attention right now and they only want him, after a full day of work. Or driven back to make it home in time to coach the girl's soccer team that evening. This week it's Madison then New Jersey to teach a class at home office so he won't be back until Friday. Fortunately this isn't constantly going on but it's part of his job. I never hear him complain about it, ever.

and well there you go... Sometimes my mom (isfj) says with me it's a case of the shoemakers children have no shoes as sometimes I let others outside my family take more of my time and energy than perhaps I should but it's just a matter of..what can I do...where..when. I've def had to learn to balance in the last couple of years....but's it's still like...how can I not... Tell him to stop by as I'm a Jersey ENFJ haha...good to know you have at least one there in the midwest.

 

[Domino]

Is her lack of hugging a way you know she's pissed with you..my ENFP friends are huggers also

Yes! lol Even though she can't stay mad for very long (usually). Her idea of "me" time is like, 10 minutes. Me, I go off alone for hours at a time almost every day.

D&G!! One of my favorite design houses! John Galliano, Chloe, Dior and Betsey Johnson (she's my #1).