I am not a fan of the "everyone has all 8 functions and 4 of them are shadow functions" theory. In reality there are just 4 functions and the function can have an introverted or extraverted attitude depending on the individual. Te and Ti, for example, are not separate functions, they are extraverted and introverted forms of the same Thinking function, thus a person cannot have both Te and Ti.
I believe it is not as clearcut as that... Check the belowgiven for instance:
In this case, the right side of the vertical axis denotes your normal self (persona, i.e. your primary preferences that you employ to interact with the external world), and the left side is your shadow self, which denotes the traits and preferences that you had to repress in favor of the normal self...
Edit: I noticed that the graph is not appropriate for the point I am trying to make...disregard it for now...
Edit 2 : OK... changed the figure... should serve for the purpose now...
The shadow self I believe is still there inside of us but it's fearful of manifesting itself in the external world hence it can positively manifest itself when it's feeling safe enough such as when we are with intimate, trusted people; or positively\negatively in imaginary/fantasy settings that are not exposed to the external world such as dreams, day-dreams, sexual fantasies and virtual realities such as internet, or negatively when the normal self collapses under stress and cannot function any longer such as when feeling threatened, angry, anxious etc...
The shadow self I believe also contains our frustrations, disappointments, failed hopes and dreams...it's the reservoir into which we supress our undesired feelings about self...because it's suppressed, the built-up pressure usually manifests and relieves itself thru unconscious means if it's not given a natural outlet of expression...
Intimate relationships I guess serve an important purpose to that end in that thru those relationships we can enact our shadow self, act silly, childish, spoiled...and the repressed self can come out and take a breather, thereby releasing the repressed pressure...
In this sense, the presence of the shadow self (opposing personality or whatever else it is called) means that we all have the ability to act in either direction of the vertical axis of the abovegiven graph...It's just that the shadow side of the axis is weaker in strength wrt to the normal side...
What I cannot imagine at the moment is whether the transition between our normal self and shadow self is rapid in all cases or gradual...Perhaps our normal self is the preference that we use when our psyche is at rest\relaxed...but when I am with trusted friends I can easily keep shifting between the two, act silly\playful one moment and serious the next...so reconciling with the shadow self seems to give some kind of ambidexterity to the individual...It's just one of them seems to take preference depending on the external circumstance...
So how to not get embarrassed with the shadow self (traits) and exhibit them with greater confidence externally? That is to say, how to let go of shame...so shadow self contains (self) shame it seems...
In fact, I would argue, based on my reading of Jung, that the Auxiliary and Tertiary functions tend not to have a definite I/E attitude, they can introvert or extravert depending on the demands of the dominant-inferior function axis. So, for example, the function order of an INTP would be Ti-N-S-Fe.
It may be that all 4 functions have extraverted and introverted versions and our normal self denotes the the direction we are more adept at using them...
I for instance have Ti-tert and feel awkward, clumsy (childish) when trying to use Te, i.e. when trying to verbalize my thoughts to people...A Ti-dom for instance would still feel awkward perhaps when using Te but it would still be much more capable than my Te...
I don't have a clear consclusion about the auxiliary and tertiary not having external/internal preference at that moment...But to me, the interchangebility of the function directions feel like 2 distinct entities chatting with each other, so they may be INFJ normal self and ENFP shadow self chatting...So does that mean when trying to use the opposite version of a preferred function, I along with all my preferred functions switch to the shadow persona or I can just switch just one function's direction at will...
I think it is the former cause when using my shadow Te-tert, my thoughts keep going into several different directions and lose coherence (shadow Ne-dom), I feel self-conscious (shadow Fi-aux?)...hence I can work better when I use Te-tert in writing form...as it is a much less "in the moment" process then speaking...
It is your inferior and, to a lesser extent, your tertiary function that are part of the Shadow Complex.
My Inferior function is Te, so I tend to fantasize about ordering the world to fit my values. Strategy games like Civilization also let me express my Te shadow harmlessly (unless you are living in one of the virtual cities I just nuked, BWAHAHAHA!!!).
Based on what you described as your (dark) desire, the desire would fit the personality of an ENxJ... So that means your shadow self is an ENxJ... Do you want to order the world in Te (utilitarian\pragmatic) terms or Fe (moralistic\idealistic) terms...? That would give the key your true shadow self...And by taking the mirror image of it, you can find your true normal self...
Based on your description of desiring to order the world thru Te, your shadow self may indeed be an ExTJ, an ENTJ if your N typing is correct, which would make your normal self an INTP...
Do you think social rules, gestures and conventions are unnecessary or are you irritated when you are expected to perform Fe gestures like smiling, greeting people etc...? And do you at the same time idealize people who are adept at Fe gestures...? Are you for instance sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex who are high in Fe...?
