'Romantic' films that you don't find at all romantic...

[figsfiggyfigs]

Well, English Patient was a complete snoozer for me

Ya, wtf was up with that????

<--- my face at the end of the movie.

I mean, sure, it's sad that she died alone, but COME ON. WEAK !!!!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Well, English Patient was a complete snoozer for me

To me The English Patient was like two different movies; one where Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott-Thomas are in the desert, and one where he and Juliette Binoche are at the country estate and he's recuperating. I liked the latter, but the former put me to sleep.

 

[strawberries]

i loved the english patient. shut up, all of you. and i don't like many romantic movies.

the notebook made me gag as did the titanic.

ps bring ralph fiennes to me.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

i loved the english patient. shut up, all of you. and i don't like many romantic movies.

the notebook made me gag as did the titanic.

ps bring ralph fiennes to me.

If you bring me Juliette Binoche, I will get him for you.

 

[highlander]

i loved the english patient. shut up, all of you. and i don't like many romantic movies.

the notebook made me gag as did the titanic.

ps bring ralph fiennes to me.

And I loved Titanic.

So there.

 

[LadyJaye]

I have to say " Sliver" was the biggest, suckiest, most un-erotic creepfest I was forced to sit through. You would think that Sharon Stone taking her britches off in a restaurant would have some sex appeal, but you would be so wrong.

And the movie " Mad Dog and Glory" had a awkward, profoundly embarrassing sex scene with Robert DeNiro and Uma Thurman that made me flee the room. He looked like he was trying to clear a drain.

 

[Gloriana]

I have to say " Sliver" was the biggest, suckiest, most un-erotic creepfest I was forced to sit through. You would think that Sharon Stone taking her britches off in a restaurant would have some sex appeal, but you would be so wrong.

And the movie " Mad Dog and Glory" had a awkward, profoundly embarrassing sex scene with Robert DeNiro and Uma Thurman that made me flee the room. He looked like he was trying to clear a drain.

Agree, and agree. 'Sliver' (along with Basic Instinct) was just such a gratuitous trash fest. And I've pretty much blocked 'Mad Dog & Glory' from my mind because of the very reason you mentioned *shudder*.

***Titanic SPOILERS below if there is anyone left who hasn't seen it***

'Titanic' is one of those movies I'm so conflicted about. A friend and I avoided that movie when it first came out because of all the hype, then we were bored and said "Ah screw it" and went to see it. I kept rolling my eyes at the cheesiness, but I loved the time period and the sound effects of the sinking in the movie theater were so frickin' scary. By the end we were crying our butts off and we wound up seeing it in the theater five more times.

It's one of those movies I hate myself for being attached to because I constantly roll my eyes when I watch it, and half the time I can't wait for the boat to sink, lol. I never cry when Jack kicks the bucket, but I always cry when they pan over the photographs of all the stuff she did that they talked about. Then I feel like a total sucker. I could be all like "I hate that movie" but that would be a lie. Saying I love it is a lie too. I'm eternally conflicted (and I love making fun of it). Guilty pleasure I suppose.

 

[Tallulah]

I always get the impression Gone with the Wind is supposed to be romantic, but Scarlett and Rhett are two narcissists that you can't really cheer for, when it's all said and done. They both kind of deserve to be miserable.

The Piano is an abomination. I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and choose not to watch it.

Notting Hill was TERRIBLE on every level. There was nothing remotely likable about Julia Roberts' character in that movie.

Twilight seems like co-dependency and control issues, taken by 15 year olds to be what true love looks like.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

i loved the english patient. shut up, all of you. and i don't like many romantic movies.

the notebook made me gag as did the titanic.

ps bring ralph fiennes to me.

Hey I didn't say I hated the movie. I love the English Patient as well, I just didn't like the ending, to me, it was not romantic. It was lacking in.. something.

and I didn't like seeing Raph Fiennes sad. xD!!

 

[Totenkindly]

I don't even know what to bring up. The bulk of chick flicks (exemplified by "Sleepless in Seattle") bore me. Usually I find it easier to mention those that I actually enjoyed.

(For example, "My Best Friend's Wedding" was witty and actually revolves around the lead character finally growing up, rather than getting the guy. And I was kind of surprised to find myself enjoying, on lesser levels but still enjoying, "50 First Dates" and "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." If there's a basic level sweetness to the movie, I can sometimes make it work.)

But usually I find romance in drama, rather than romance as its own genre. ("The Remains of the Day" for a tragedy, for example.)

Notting Hill was TERRIBLE on every level. There was nothing remotely likable about Julia Roberts' character in that movie.

Twilight seems like co-dependency and control issues, taken by 15 year olds to be what true love looks like.

Agreed on Notting Hill. Ick.

I actually enjoyed Twilight... but I never expected the romance to be anything more than teen-age celibate angst. (Vampires without sex?) Basically, for me, it was one of the movies that was marginally interesting if I just took it at face value and didn't expect it to represent mature relationships or to be more than it was; I expected it to be utterly awful and it managed to avoid that.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

I didn't like Leap Year.
I thought it was terrible .

I laughed at the end of titanic. Great movie and everything, but I didn't find it that romantic.

I think it was Rose promising to never let go, then promptly scratching away with all her might to de-grasp his hand, and letting him sink to the depth of sea. I realize that wasn't what she actually promised, but still, the gesture was funny to me

 

[Totenkindly]

I laughed at the end of titanic. Great movie and everything, but I didn't find it that romantic.

I think it was Rose promising to never let go, then promptly scratching away with all her might to de-grasp his hand, and letting him sink to the depth of sea. I realize that wasn't what she actually promised, but still, the gesture was funny to me

ha!

I did find the overall gist of Jack sacrificing himself for Rose to be a moving thing; he knew he was going to die, and you can see him realize that and yet he doesn't change what he's doing.

But the execution was kind of flawed, and the inadvertent joke you mention ("I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." [stage direction: She lets go]) still makes me laugh every time I see it now. And any romance highlighted by a steamy handprint on the glass of the back window of a rocking vehicle just sort of loses it for me... we've now ventured into the realm of teenage drama/slapstick.

 

[MacGuffin]

The Piano is an abomination. I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and choose not to watch it.

Heheheh, even my wife hated it.

 

[Oberon]

The first Nightmare on Elm Street flick. Freddy and the girl just never really connected, you know?

 

[KDude]

And the movie " Mad Dog and Glory" had a awkward, profoundly embarrassing sex scene with Robert DeNiro and Uma Thurman that made me flee the room. He looked like he was trying to clear a drain.

On the flipside, it's one of the better depictions of "awkward guy" ever..

That movie is great for other reasons though... the fact that Bill Murray is the mafia guy and DeNiro the wimp.

 

[modpod77]

I love "The Notebook" movie! It's so romantic and I think it's hardly to find something so sweet like Allie and Noah in real life.

 

[Gloriana]

I think it was Rose promising to never let go, then promptly scratching away with all her might to de-grasp his hand, and letting him sink to the depth of sea. I realize that wasn't what she actually promised, but still, the gesture was funny to me

Yes, I always laugh at this too. There are a lot of moments I laugh in that movie when I think about it.

First off, near the beginning when the captain is up on the catwalk overlooking the ship with that satisfied look on his face. Back when that movie came out, MST3K did some television spots ripping on it. One of the scenes they ripped was that one, when the captain came on screen Mike Nelson goes "I'm gonna get plastered and sink this bitch". That is ALL I think of when that scene comes up now, every single time without fail.

The second scene is when Jack and Rose run away from the security guys looking for them after they do it in the car. She tells him "When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you". First time I saw that in the theater, my best friend and I turned to each other at the same time like "Didn't she just do that???". It's such a cheap joke, but I just remember it and laugh, I can't help it.

Third one is kind of stupid. When the captain is all catatonic on the boat deck during the sinking, there's a part where you see a guy in the background grab a life preserver and then he goes running off rather manically. To me, that moment just looked like a Monty Python sketch and I just cracked up. It was made worse by the fact it was supposed to be an emotionally weighty moment. The theater was packed the first time I saw it and people were already raising their hankies while I sat there giggling hysterically, and the more I thought "I shouldn't laugh right now", the more I laughed.

One other thing that makes me laugh is from a recent fan fiction I read where the author was simulating what it would be like if the characters were on Facebook. Two of the things she wrote were:

Cal H. says: "I'm on a boat motherf***ers!"

and

Cal H. likes 'Dramatic, psychotic gestures"

(For the whole thing: If Titanic Were on Facebook, a Titanic fanfic - FanFiction.Net )

 

[Fluffywolf]

Every romantic movie that is ridden with silly stereotyping and obvious clichés.

So like, every movie that has the romantic stamp on it.

To me romantic movies are movies like Gladiator. Now that's a romantic movie.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Dirty dancing. That movie made my skin crawl, and it can't just be the age difference because I thought Lost in Translation was quite a romantic movie. Especially that last kiss.

 

[Fidelia]

You didn't like Patrick Swayze?