LucrativeSid
New member
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2007
- Messages
- 837
Today, I got a biannual review at work. They rate my performance in many different areas. I usually get lots of "goods" and "very goods". This time, I got a few that were one less than "good". Maybe it was called "fair". Mostly because I talk a lot, I don't move that fast, and I don't shave enough. I got a small raise. They've all been small lately. It's not surprising.
You see, I've worked there for a long time, and I've gotten raises twice a year. Sometimes even more than that. I work in a fast food restaurant and I now make more than $11 an hour. But I'm not a manager or anything. I'm just a regular crew member. I hate my job and I couldn't stand to take on more responsibility there. I like to just do the bare minimum. But I probably make more than the assistant managers and many other people who work harder than me and have more responsibility than me because I've worked there for so long. I expected they'd eventually stop giving me raises unless I decided to move up in the ranks, and they finally did. This is my last one.
I'm surprised I haven't been fired or taken a pay cut. I don't do much more than most of the people who are making minimum wage.
Just like I haven't done more than the bare minimum at work, I haven't done more than bare minimum in the rest of the my life. That's why I work there in the first place. It's close to home and it keeps me afloat. I'm not that ambitious, but I don't want to be a mooch.
If I took another entry level job, I'd probably take a pay cut, drive farther, and hate it just as much. I'm too lazy to go to school. I don't want a job at all. There's nothing I'd be willing to study for. I have no interest in working for somebody else. I don't give a crap if I double my wages... that's still nothing. To me, anything short of running my own show isn't worth it.
And I could run my own show, but then I'd have to work even harder. At least now I can zone out and just deal with it. I'm wasting my time and I have no good options. Plenty of options, just no good ones. I guess I'm just too lazy. I'm too lazy to do anything. Nothing seems worth the effort. I don't try to make money. I don't try to save money. I don't try to pursue goals. I only do the bare minimum required to not sink.
I wish I could just live without having to support myself. Living just takes too much effort. It seems like my only choices are to work hard or become a mooch.
I wasn't spoiled as a kid. I was just the same way I am now. I put forth no effort and expected nothing in return. I settled for the bare minimum. I don't think I'm owed anything by anyone, and I have very little respect for moochers. I hate working so much that I wouldn't expect anyone to do it on my behalf. If I am going to make it in this world, I expect to earn my way. But do I expect do make it in this world? At this point, no.
For some reason, I have an extreme aversion to any kind of effort. It's extremely rare for me to do something or accomplish a task without it feeling like torturous effort. Even my own pursuits seem like work. Writing a song feels like work. I can't actively concentrate on anything without it feeling like effort and work. I can only dream and think. I like to soak things in and do a bit of discovery. I like to play around. I love learning, but it's usually pretty passive.
Every once in a while I'll be motivated to do something because it's something that's never been done before. It has to be very novel and exciting for it to not feel like pure work. But even then, once I'm passed the beginning stages, it often feels like work. If I can't do something before my initial burst of energy wares off, I'm screwed.
I like listening to music, browsing the Internet, watching movies, and taking naps. Anything beyond that is just the stuff in life that sucks.
I have to work for happiness? That's a bad deal. Wouldn't it be better to just not exist? Can I find a way to live my life actively? Or will it end, sooner or later, just as unfulfilling as it is now?
You see, I've worked there for a long time, and I've gotten raises twice a year. Sometimes even more than that. I work in a fast food restaurant and I now make more than $11 an hour. But I'm not a manager or anything. I'm just a regular crew member. I hate my job and I couldn't stand to take on more responsibility there. I like to just do the bare minimum. But I probably make more than the assistant managers and many other people who work harder than me and have more responsibility than me because I've worked there for so long. I expected they'd eventually stop giving me raises unless I decided to move up in the ranks, and they finally did. This is my last one.
I'm surprised I haven't been fired or taken a pay cut. I don't do much more than most of the people who are making minimum wage.
Just like I haven't done more than the bare minimum at work, I haven't done more than bare minimum in the rest of the my life. That's why I work there in the first place. It's close to home and it keeps me afloat. I'm not that ambitious, but I don't want to be a mooch.
If I took another entry level job, I'd probably take a pay cut, drive farther, and hate it just as much. I'm too lazy to go to school. I don't want a job at all. There's nothing I'd be willing to study for. I have no interest in working for somebody else. I don't give a crap if I double my wages... that's still nothing. To me, anything short of running my own show isn't worth it.
And I could run my own show, but then I'd have to work even harder. At least now I can zone out and just deal with it. I'm wasting my time and I have no good options. Plenty of options, just no good ones. I guess I'm just too lazy. I'm too lazy to do anything. Nothing seems worth the effort. I don't try to make money. I don't try to save money. I don't try to pursue goals. I only do the bare minimum required to not sink.
I wish I could just live without having to support myself. Living just takes too much effort. It seems like my only choices are to work hard or become a mooch.
I wasn't spoiled as a kid. I was just the same way I am now. I put forth no effort and expected nothing in return. I settled for the bare minimum. I don't think I'm owed anything by anyone, and I have very little respect for moochers. I hate working so much that I wouldn't expect anyone to do it on my behalf. If I am going to make it in this world, I expect to earn my way. But do I expect do make it in this world? At this point, no.
For some reason, I have an extreme aversion to any kind of effort. It's extremely rare for me to do something or accomplish a task without it feeling like torturous effort. Even my own pursuits seem like work. Writing a song feels like work. I can't actively concentrate on anything without it feeling like effort and work. I can only dream and think. I like to soak things in and do a bit of discovery. I like to play around. I love learning, but it's usually pretty passive.
Every once in a while I'll be motivated to do something because it's something that's never been done before. It has to be very novel and exciting for it to not feel like pure work. But even then, once I'm passed the beginning stages, it often feels like work. If I can't do something before my initial burst of energy wares off, I'm screwed.
I like listening to music, browsing the Internet, watching movies, and taking naps. Anything beyond that is just the stuff in life that sucks.
I have to work for happiness? That's a bad deal. Wouldn't it be better to just not exist? Can I find a way to live my life actively? Or will it end, sooner or later, just as unfulfilling as it is now?
