Restraint

[Mole]

Oddly enough the hallmark of emotional intelligence is restraint.

And so it is not so surprising to find those without emotional intelligence are ruled by their emotions.

But it always comes as surprise to me.

Their immediate emotion is expressed quite naturally. But they do not have the intelligence to know what emotion is appropriated and what is inappropriate.

The definition of a gentleman is someone who is never unintentionally rude.

And this is also the definition of someone with emotional intelligence.

But birds of a feather flock together. And naturally they hate a bird of a different feather.

And in the same way the emotionally unintelligent flock together, giving each other the impression they are normal.

And God help any emotionally intelligent gentleman, who wanders in by accident.

He will be accused, God help us, of not being normal.

And then every attempt will be made to socially exclude him - to ostracise him, or ban him.

Incivility, marginalisation and banishment are not above the emotionally unintelligent.

And they are ruthless, relentless and unrepentant.

Everything but restrained.

 

[Giggly]

Very wise, indeed.

 

[INA]

Reminds me of a blatant display of a lack of restraint a while back:

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/bonfire/10310-why-women-like-dance-2.html#post392048

 

[Salomé]

Is this a restraining order Vic? Something tells me you're no stranger to them...



I'm a fan, truly.

 

[Typology]

Am I reading a poem?

 

[Costrin]

Am I reading a poem?

You're reading Victor.

 

[redacted]

Restraint isn't necessarily emotionally intelligent. Too much restraint can eat away at a person. Restraint is appropriate only at certain times. Processing and embracing emotion sometimes requires letting it flow freely.

 

[Mole]

Is this a restraining order Vic? Something tells me you're no stranger to them...



I'm a fan, truly.

And I'm a fan of yours too, Bluemonday.

But it's true, you can look it up - restraint is the hallmark of emotional intelligence.

Of course you don't know me in real life anymore than I know you.

But I suspect you would see me as a person of restraint. And you would also see me as a person who enjoys listening and talking and laughing with people throughout the day.

You would probably see me a soft, intellectual male.

I don't need restraining orders 'cause I get on quite well with the people around me.

Here, of course, you see me pushing the boundaries of electronic text - as well as expressing my feelings.

No, I think if we were to meet over coffee, you would be the one with the mystery. But I know you don't like me saying that.

So you see how well I know you already.

 

[Mole]

Am I reading a poem?

Actually no.

What you are reading now is Telegraphic Prose.

I write in Telegraphic Prose because it suits the medium we are communicating in.

It suits the medium because the medium is not like a book, it is more like the old fashioned Telegraph.

Of course almost everyone else here writes in Conversational Prose. So naturally I stand out.

But if you don't like my Telegraphic Prose, my poems would freak you out.

 

[Mole]

Very wise, indeed.

It is very nice of you to say so. But I wrote it because I was angry with a couple of posts. And so I expressed my anger indirectly in this post.

Afterward when I was no longer angry, I thought of deleting it.

But I thought it wasn't a particularly harmful post to anyone, so I let it stand.

But I do like you calling me wise.

 

[matmos]

Restraint shows mindfulness of the consequences of behaviour. But here on MBTIc there are no real consequences. Getting banned is hardly a year in the chokey.

Restraint offers it's own rewards, which should be obvious when you look at the alternative.

Then again, a bit of controversy, surely, is part of the game?

The question is not one of restraint or civility but of intent.

Intent to joke or intent to injure? More likely the former, given the lack of possibilities with the latter, here on the interwebs.

Civility, restraint and other such virtues may hide malice - and deep malice at that. Whereas a rude or thoughtless quip, made in haste or jest very seldom does.

Which is of course not an apology.

All the best.