Repeating the same mistakes

[Keirouen]

-Do you repeat the same mistakes in a slightly different way over and over?

 

[Qlip]

Yeah, I think I do it on purpose, though. It irritates me that some situations are not 'solvable'. Sometimes I keep getting in the same ones so I can attempt different solutions. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it just goes on and on...

 

[á´…eparted]

Nope. If I learn something was a mistake, I never repeat it. If I do repeat it, something is very wrong (i.e. under severe stress or it's a horrificly bad sore point).

 

[Serendipity]

Nope. If I learn something was a mistake, I never repeat it. If I do repeat it, something is very wrong (i.e. under severe stress or it's a horrificly bad sore point).

Hard, how deeply programmed is this into your being? and what are the logical switches?

I mean, do you apply a different set of rules depending on whom you spend time with? and/or do you have a general rule system that applies to all? (testing, cautios, analysis)

How does your system of right and wrong work? (curiosity)

 

[á´…eparted]

Hard, how deeply programmed is this into your being? and what are the logical switches?

I mean, do you apply a different set of rules depending on whom you spend time with? and/or do you have a general rule system that applies to all? (testing, cautios, analysis)

How does your system of right and wrong work? (curiosity)

Pretty deep.

I am really motivated by fear of failure and perfectionism. It's rather simple though: making a mistake is usually bad. To make it again, would cause another bad situation. It's only logical to prevent that mistake from happening again, and learning from it. If I am able to see myself falling into a pattern/line of thinking/situation that I know caused a problem before, I will stop myself, say "nope!" and not allow it to occur. Occasionally I need to experience the mistake a few times if it's a "hmm... could have been an isolated incident, need to test it again", which is something I had to learn over time as I was too proactive on things that usually lead to isolation.

I definitely have different rules depending on whom I am with. Everyone operates differently, so one needs to adjust accordingly. I have a core set of "rules" for everyone, but the details change from person to person. I couldn't really put it to words though in a general manner. It's an organic process for me, and it works; I have no social drama in my life, it almost never appears, and when it does it's very quickly tamped out.

As for how my system of right and wrong works? I'm not sure if I could explain. It's mostly checks between what I have experienced in life so far, who the person is, what the situation is, and what is considered good/bad by the world at large. Each things adds a weight to the scale to work it out. This sort of things just happens automatically in my head, I don't need to put much conscious effort into it (it's the nature of dom-Fe). Of course it takes active thought, but the pieces of the puzzle appear in front of me quickly.

I'll give an example that happened recently. I was hanging out with my friend (and INTP 9w8) earlier this week. Just as we were about to pull out of the parking lot of Safeway (he was driving) the car in front of us was stopped at the turnout with the passenger door open, and a lady was giving money to a homeless person sitting on the curb on the opposite side of the car. I half smiled half rolled my eyes at it. It seemed to profoundly piss off my friend, and he slams on the car horn, and doesn't let off. I jump and think to myself "what the hell?", the lady give him the middle finger for doing it, and he continues to honk. At this point, I have several things considered in my head: What was the lady doing? What was my friend doing? How does the homeless person fit into this? I know that my friend has had run ins with homeless people in this town that caused him (dangerous) problems, so he's got strong feelings. This woman however, does not know my friend, anything about him, and felt she was doing a good. It's fair for him to be frustrated considering his experience, but not fair for him to impart that on another person who is unaware of this. Upon seeing her flip the bird, it showed that she is not taking well to this (which is what I would assume from the get go before it happened). His frustration is causing anger in another, and apparent subbornness, thus it is wrong for him to do this. Even if he is attempting to do it for the greater good (later of which he told me was the case) by causing her annoyance so she won't do it anymore, his actions will not cause that. If anything it will make it worse. I then tell him to cut it out and stop. He ignores me. I grab his hand off the wheel, and he resits and shoves me away. I tell him that he's making this worse, and he continues to ignore, then drives bumper to bumper right as the lady gets in the car. I was able to make him stop when I thretened to get out of the car and not go floating with him (which is what we were on the way to do). Even then he drived like a jerk right by them until the traffic light. Unprompted, he explained his reasoning saying helping homeless like that only encourages them to go to the store and he is doing his part to stop others from encouraging that. I tell him that you aren't going to make her stop by doing that, and that he is in the wrong for doing so and is unjustly venting anger in the process: he is in the wrong, not her. Nonplussed (ever the INTP) he presses his side and ignores my statement. I then proceeded to say nothing on the matter despite his continued attempts to get me to respond until we got to the river. Why? Because it won't do any good, he does not listen to others opinions, and when he does, he breaks them and makes it into his own. After this event, and another like it, I do not consider him a friend (never really have TBH). I do not put any effort into the friendship, but he puts a ton into it (because he doesn't really have any friends who will do things with him unsurprisingly), so I allow it to happen and I gain a good chunk of benefit from it, and steer clear of arguments. It only happens when something external occurs. Though if another few of these happens, he's out.

That's quite the tangent from the original topic, but you asked so there you go .

 

[kyuuei]

I like to think I don't, but I definitely do. A lot.

 

[indra]

i am technique's vanguard

 

[Cellmold]

Of course.

Especially in the qualifier of 'slightly different way'. The context changes; the issue can stay the same because it is the context that causes the lack of recognition.

Example being someone who makes the general mistake of trusting people who turn out to be untrustworthy or unreliable, (ok so that is vague but there is often a pattern in the vagueness), as opposed to learning a specific skill like tying a certain knot.

One of those is merely a learned practical skill that can be practiced, but the other is more deep rooted in the mind and behaviour patterns of the individual.

 

[prplchknz]

yeah, I'm pretty dumb and stubborn that way. I think if I keep turning right something different will happen I just end up dizzy

 

[Bush]

I don't think so. I believe in extracting everything about a choice, mulling it over, and not doing that same thing (at least, in the same environment/circumstances) if it was a mistake.

If an approach doesn't work, I'll often take exactly the opposite approach the second time around. Then I learn from the extremes.

 

[Evo]

If I don't take the time to reflect about it, then yes.

 

[Avocado]

I avoid repeating mistakes, but I often repeat mistakes due to focus problems.

 

[Mole]

I tend to take two steps forward and one step back. I have wondered about this and think it is my way of learning. In other words, I learn by comparing the new step to the old step. So both the forward and backward steps are equally important. It's like a little dance I do to learn something new.

 

[Nijntje]

If I don't take the time to reflect about it, then yes.

This. This is what happens.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

I had to decide what Netflix should send me, but didn't feel like thinking about it. So I just picked something with 4 stars about aliens or something. My SO says I've already seen this movie, and didn't like it last time. I don't remember it, so I watched it again. Didn't like it this time either. Wish I would've learned.