[INTJ] Rant on INTJs

[natalia93]

INFJ dating an INTJ

I'm an INFJ currently dating an INTJ. He is literally the definition of an INTJ. However, he also has quite a bit of 'damage' from the many difficulties he's endured in life, so I'm not sure how generally true his specific display of characteristics are to INTJ's as a whole.
He is obsessed with satire, which makes him even more misunderstood by most people (myself included for a long time). When I first met him I thought he was self centered, arrogant, and insensitive. He CONSTANTLY put me down and talked about how superior his qualities were. He also thinks its funny to exaggerate responses, so he would freak out over everything I did wrong (even stupid small things). To him these intense displays of frustration over small mistakes and constant put downs were obvious jokes; to me they were hurtful and frightening. Despite my best efforts to stay away from him, there was something that was so intriguing and fascinating about him that drew me in. He constantly made me laugh, we could talk endlessly for hours, and his uniqueness and intelligence were unmatched by anyone else I had ever met.
I think our relationship has been through a lot, mostly because his sense of humor is not well matched to my extreme low self esteem and sensitivity. We've come along way in understanding each other and I feel we are both pushing each other to grow. I know I've learned an insane amount about myself from dating him. I'd say he's learned from me, but I could never know if that's true because I'm sure to him he has nothing to learn (he's an INTJ, he's already perfect! )

 

[natalia93]

My boyfriend is an INTJ and I've noticed a lot of these things in him. I've also noticed much of what he says or does gets misinterpreted because of how he says it or because of his humor; I'm wondering if that is true for other INTJ's?
For example, he uses satire so much that most of the time I have to ask if he's being serious about what he just said (ironic because INTJs are supposed to be straightforward... sarcasm and satire really throw a wrench in that!).
Another example of his humor, which I misinterpreted for a long time: he thinks over-exaggerating frustration/anger is funny... He used to freak out at me for doing small things that were irritating to him, when I addressed this with him he said that it was just a joke.
Or he will say something that in his mind is OBVIOUSLY a joke, but doesn't seem that way to anyone else. He'll decide a topic is not worth arguing with the people around him because their input won't be valuable, so he'll turn it into a 'joke' and say something like "No, you're all idiots, I'm right". In one instance I had no idea he hadn't meant that and it was some weird attempt at humor and it escalated into an argument.
Communication is hard. I'm still trying to figure out how to adapt.