Galena
Silver and Lead
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
- Messages
- 3,786
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
Easy to hurt. Relating everything to myself. Distant and unloving. Rarely thinking about anything that's immediately going on in front of me. Acts of cowardice. Soft, not enough fighting instinct. I don't disagree with many things, and that's unrealistic.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
This is hard because I tend to focus on what needs fixing, not things that are running just peachy without my attention.
Not bothered by harmless things, infinite patience. Good at a couple things. Does not give up, although the activity may be stretched over a very long time. I do not complain. Concerned with morality.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
I'd rather not need help with anything, but everyone needs to have their blind spots revealed to them sometimes.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Procrastination from favoring how projects look and feel in fantasy over what they're truly like to actualize and the disappointment of not being able to create the ideal exactly. Eventually, I will do them or give them up, because if something exists only in my head, it's fake.
Another way I procrastinate on important things is through anxiety about getting it just right, especially if someone whose opinions I value is going to see the result.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I trick myself into thinking I don't dislike anybody because I want to see everyone validated. What I am missing then is the difference between validation and enjoyment. Maybe I don't dislike people themselves at core, but rather some of the things they do. I know I don't like when people are cold, sarcastic, blasé, emotionally repressed and when they want the same from everybody else.
I like the creative, the romantic and indomitable.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
These things are not as powerful as my other passions, and I have wondered if they are meant to be part of my life. But occasionally I get lonely, as much as I deny it.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Id raise them the same way, whether they are a boy or a girl. Try to instill toughness and belief in their own validity, and teach them what is effective in the world they live in.
A lot of habits that are traditionally instilled in girls are for attractiveness to the detriment of effectiveness, and I've been embarrassed to have absorbed some of them growing up. My kids would learn what works, and nothing that doesn't work. No self-erasing, timid social dances that they have to spend their 20s shaking off because they've discovered it's not true kindness after all.
Although I'm not having children, so whatever.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Inwardly, I might reassess who I thought they were and how I want to interact with them in the future. Outwardly, it depends on whether I have a solid relationship with them and trust that they can understand me. If we are close like this, I'd love to debate. If not, I will ask questions to get your rationale for your view, then pit the viewpoints against each other internally later.
Or maybe I am just uncomfortable with public conflict deep down, in which case, ugh. That must be changed!
I'm not out to defend my values. In fact, I'm magnetized by evidence that has the potential to rewrite them into something more objective than before.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I am part of society. If I think there is anything wrong with it, it's surely part of me as well, and my first responsibility is to work that out inside before advising anybody else.
I love people. They are fascinating. They are hilarious. For some reason they are constantly, blindly tearing each other to pieces. I think we make complicated justifications for a simple inner sadism: it is human to get a rush from causing pain, but we have the consciousness to rise above that impulse if we want to. That inner bite is stronger in some people than in others. The latter are no better or worse than the former and are responsible for finding their own subtler way to survive.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I'll spend time with just about anyone on an initial basis. Through that, I can get to know what they are like and decide if I want to be around them more or move on. I am attentive, but I don't have much to say. I don't show them any of my inner drama or talk about my troubles unless they are one of, say, the top 2 closest. This isn't my true personality - I am very disclosing by nature, but I haven't found a place in the world for the direct expression of what's in here. Opening up hasn't gone well in the past, but then, I was far less healthy then than I am now.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
People see a straight-laced, shy, serious person until I know I can be otherwise and be understood. In reality, I have very much an entertainer's personality, which many are surprised to discover. I have notebooks filled with jokes I have never told.
That's what I'm like - really, really sharply split inside. Half of me is pitch dark perfectionism, ideals with whips. The other half is a clown who just wants to be understood so we can play together. Neither side is the more real.
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
Easy to hurt. Relating everything to myself. Distant and unloving. Rarely thinking about anything that's immediately going on in front of me. Acts of cowardice. Soft, not enough fighting instinct. I don't disagree with many things, and that's unrealistic.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
This is hard because I tend to focus on what needs fixing, not things that are running just peachy without my attention.
Not bothered by harmless things, infinite patience. Good at a couple things. Does not give up, although the activity may be stretched over a very long time. I do not complain. Concerned with morality.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
I'd rather not need help with anything, but everyone needs to have their blind spots revealed to them sometimes.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Procrastination from favoring how projects look and feel in fantasy over what they're truly like to actualize and the disappointment of not being able to create the ideal exactly. Eventually, I will do them or give them up, because if something exists only in my head, it's fake.
Another way I procrastinate on important things is through anxiety about getting it just right, especially if someone whose opinions I value is going to see the result.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I trick myself into thinking I don't dislike anybody because I want to see everyone validated. What I am missing then is the difference between validation and enjoyment. Maybe I don't dislike people themselves at core, but rather some of the things they do. I know I don't like when people are cold, sarcastic, blasé, emotionally repressed and when they want the same from everybody else.
I like the creative, the romantic and indomitable.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
These things are not as powerful as my other passions, and I have wondered if they are meant to be part of my life. But occasionally I get lonely, as much as I deny it.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Id raise them the same way, whether they are a boy or a girl. Try to instill toughness and belief in their own validity, and teach them what is effective in the world they live in.
A lot of habits that are traditionally instilled in girls are for attractiveness to the detriment of effectiveness, and I've been embarrassed to have absorbed some of them growing up. My kids would learn what works, and nothing that doesn't work. No self-erasing, timid social dances that they have to spend their 20s shaking off because they've discovered it's not true kindness after all.
Although I'm not having children, so whatever.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Inwardly, I might reassess who I thought they were and how I want to interact with them in the future. Outwardly, it depends on whether I have a solid relationship with them and trust that they can understand me. If we are close like this, I'd love to debate. If not, I will ask questions to get your rationale for your view, then pit the viewpoints against each other internally later.
Or maybe I am just uncomfortable with public conflict deep down, in which case, ugh. That must be changed!
I'm not out to defend my values. In fact, I'm magnetized by evidence that has the potential to rewrite them into something more objective than before.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I am part of society. If I think there is anything wrong with it, it's surely part of me as well, and my first responsibility is to work that out inside before advising anybody else.
I love people. They are fascinating. They are hilarious. For some reason they are constantly, blindly tearing each other to pieces. I think we make complicated justifications for a simple inner sadism: it is human to get a rush from causing pain, but we have the consciousness to rise above that impulse if we want to. That inner bite is stronger in some people than in others. The latter are no better or worse than the former and are responsible for finding their own subtler way to survive.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I'll spend time with just about anyone on an initial basis. Through that, I can get to know what they are like and decide if I want to be around them more or move on. I am attentive, but I don't have much to say. I don't show them any of my inner drama or talk about my troubles unless they are one of, say, the top 2 closest. This isn't my true personality - I am very disclosing by nature, but I haven't found a place in the world for the direct expression of what's in here. Opening up hasn't gone well in the past, but then, I was far less healthy then than I am now.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
People see a straight-laced, shy, serious person until I know I can be otherwise and be understood. In reality, I have very much an entertainer's personality, which many are surprised to discover. I have notebooks filled with jokes I have never told.
That's what I'm like - really, really sharply split inside. Half of me is pitch dark perfectionism, ideals with whips. The other half is a clown who just wants to be understood so we can play together. Neither side is the more real.
